Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories
by Speakfromtheheart
Summary: Tabitha Stone has never had an easy life, there are things that she would love to keep hidden from the world... but what happens when she meets Christian Grey in her teens? What will happen when their paths cross from teens to adult life? will they be able to cope with what life has thrown at them or will they seperate forever?
1. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories

**AN: Hi all im very new to this is my first even FF so please be nice... I do no own any characters apart from Tabitha Stone, Louise Thorn, Jack, Jess and a couple of others that will be added later. The wonderfull E. owns the others i am just borrowing them for a bit of fun.**

Tabz"... "Tabbi"... "TABITHA... get your butt out of bed NOW young lady you'll be late for school".

Oh god how i hate waking up, as you can tell im not a morning person.

"alright mother, im coming now" i groaned back, "geeze keep your hair on". luckily for me she didnt hear that last bit, i hate having to get up i love my bed too much but my moms right i will be late for school if i don't move... i hate it when shes right.

I get up and take a cool shower, its the only way to wake me up, the cool water is a shock to my system but its a welcome shock once im washed and slightly more awake i concentrate on what im going to wear.

"hmmmmm, what a choice", i mutter to myself, "jeans and boots?", "jeans and trainers?" "jeans and...?" oh who am i kidding? ive only got jeans in my wardrobe its the thing i basicly live in...

while im debating my very basic watdrobe my thoughts are interupted "Tabitha your breakfasts on the table... if your not down in 10 minutes it goes in the bin".

she doesnt give me long does she... oh hell jeans and boots it is, i drag on my stone washed skinny jeans black ugg boots and top it off with a black vest top and short cropped denim jacket.

i stare at myself in the mirror after quickly drying my hair it has that kind of wind swept look about it it goes well with my rocker look, quick dashing of eyeliner and mascarra and im done.

i glance at my clock 8.45, "shit im late" i grab my bag and run as fast as i can in ugg boots its a good job i can tie them up otherwise id break my neck running down the stairs.

i dont have time to eat my breakfast so i grab a piece of toast and blow my mom i kiss and im out the door... "please don't let me miss the bus... oh please don't let me miss the bus".

just as i think ive made it in time i look down the road just to catch the final glimse of the school bus turning the corner.

" DAMITT" i yell... oh god its going to be a long day.


	2. Fifty Shade Of Forbidden Memories ch 2

Walking to school didnt seem like a bad idea at first id only be slightly late plus it gave me about a 20 minute window to think up some brilliant reason why i was late... hmmmm what could i say other than i couldn't be bothered to get up? i could use that i don't think my tutor would be too impressed tho.

then it hit me, i said it over and over in my head till it became real enough to be a lie.

just then i felt it, drop... drop... drop BOOM... "crap im gonna get caught in a bloody storm thats all i need"

i started into a fast walk i vowed to myself i would never wear my ugg boots to school again seeing as they were starting to get wet from the pooring rain.

BEEP BEEP... BEEEEEEEPPPP!

i spun round to see who the hell was beeping at me when i spotted a familiar car slow down, " hiya stranger wanna ride?" i rolled my eyes and hopped into the passenger side "omg am i happy to see you lou i thought i was gonna get soaked" i said to my best friend Louise, " well if you would rather walk rox thats fine too" she beamed back at me "for once in you life could you please call me Tabz? or Tabbi or even plain old Tabitha? anything but "rox" " " sorry no-can-do its always been your nickname so suck it up and buckle up" Louise was so bossy but i loved her for that.

we were so different Louise was beautiful in all the right ways, she was about 5ft 5, long blonde hair that made her look like a princess out of childrens films, piercing green eyes, a slim figure, legs to die for and she was so good at being the center of attention and as much as she said she rather she wasnt i knew she loved every second of it. she always dressed ready to impress too today she was sporting a pair of black very skinning jeans that showed off her legs impecably, a white off the shoulder tee with the words "kiss me quick" printed along the front and to top it al a pair of brown knee high heeled boots. Louise always looked gorgeous in what ever she wore, me on the other hand i was a different story all together i loved my rocker edge, i was about the same hight as Lou but i was slightly skinner than her i had boobs and a butt yes but i didnt flawnt, i didnt like to be in the center of anything really i usually got strange looks for the way i dressed i like black its what im comfortable in its my signiture if you will but when it came to attitude me and Lou were like sisters we met on the first day of school i was so nervous i was new to Seattle so i didnt no what to think if i put in simple turms i was bricking it 100% i got so frustrated thay i didnt no where to go or anyone around me i punched the lockers, then i heard her "hey youve dented my locker... geeze whats up with you?" i just shrugged i didnt no what to say she introduced herself as Louise Thorn, she extended her hand for me to shake she seemed nice but sometimes you can never tell, out of pure manners i shook her hand "Tabitha Stone... nice to meet you Louise", just then she grabbed my right hand to examin the damage done to my knuckles they were red and starting to bruse already.

"my thats a right hook youve got yourself there girl... im gonna call you... Rox cause your hard as one" she laughed ha ha ha very funny my last name is Stone ive now apparently gained a friend and a nickname in the last 5 minutes... how very original.

i smiled back at Louise and she helped me find my classes she was in all of them with me except one music, i loved music so it wouldnt be a problem, ever since that day we have been virtually inseparable... not only is Louise Thorn my best friend but shes like the sister i never had.


	3. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 3

We finally made it to school i was drying off nicely id already missed seeing my tutor so i decided to go straight towards the music block i had all day music which i was more than happy with as it was my main exam for my final year at Brinleyford Accadamy just the thought of my finals got me excited cause once i had finished i was going to move the the UK for a few years to study music.

A huge passion of mine.

i wondered into the classroom a few other students were there too they were dotted around the large room checking over there instruments making sure everything was in order i on the other hand just sat on a chair in the large circle set out for us, i didnt have an instrument as such i was a singer my voice was my instrument i adored singing and i hoped that one day i would make it as a recording artist i didnt want to be rich and famous not my style i just wanted to reach out to people and bring them closer with my music that was my main ambition, as we had 5 more minutes i decided to have a look around the new music/dance room the school had put in the room itself was very large hardwood floors and wooden walls made an amazing echo perfect for a music room, in the mist of my daydreaming i hadnt realised that the class had started and my name was being called for the register "Tabitha... Tabitha Stone..." Mr Jones our music teacher was staring straight at me i felt a sudden rush of heat to my face as i cleared my throat " here sir..." Mr Jones smirked at me as he said " well its lovely to see you have your head out of the cloads Miss Stone, welcome back into the land of the living" and with that he called the next name.

There was one name called on the list i didnt recognise... the boy in question wasnt here, maybe he was lost? maybe he was sick? or maybe he just couldnt be bothered to show up? i sat in thought when shouting came from the corridor, i looked up just in time to see a young lad being dragged in by an older gentleman in a suit, all eyes were glued on this mysterious teen who didnt look the least bit happy to be here.

the older man which im guessing would be his father took Mr Jones aside for a quiet word while the rest of us sat in silence, after about 2 or 3 minutes of hushed wispering from around the group Mr Jones clapped his hands to summon quiet apon his students it worked we all fell into line and waited for Mr Jones to speak, " right class, id like you all to welcome our newest student Christian, Christian is new to Brinleyford so be nice and play fair" i let out a sigh what are we 5? give us some credit were not going to pick on him and take his toys cause hes 'the new kid'.

"Christian" Mr Jones said with a smile "would you take a seat, theres a spare one there" he pointed with a nod, my eyes scanned the room the only 'spare chair' was Mr Jones' and i was right next to it... great im stuck baby sitting oh joy.

Christian rolled his eyes and slowly walked over to the chair he had his hands wedged into his front pockets and his eyes were cassed down oh he was going to be a pleasure to sit next to all day NOT! why me? why not Joey or Steph? why me?.

Christian dropped his bag and kicked it under the chair "CHRISTIAN!" his father called through gritted teeth "don't treat your stuff like that, me and your mother do not buy you items to use as footballs" Christians father gave him a sharp nod to make sure he understood just before he turnt to left the room.

Mr Jones came back to our circle and decided we would get to know each other a little better as we have been away for the summer and are now entering our last school year, know body looked thrilled at this idea least of all Christian he sat in his seat staring blankly at the floor. know one volunteerd to go first so he decided he would start with Beth and go round the circle, once voices started flowing i took the time to stare up towards the glass roof the pitter patter of the heavy rain on the glass was very soothing i let my body start to relax only to tune my hearing back in to Alex finishing his speach about himself, the only students left to speak were me and Christian "Tabitha, would you like to speak now?" Mr Jones asked in a slightly aggitated tone, i took a deep breath in and stood " Hi my names Tabitha Stone, im originally from Boston but moved to Seattle when i was about 13, i live with my mom and my dream is to become a song writter and recording artist, thankyou" i sat back down again and breathed a sigh of relief.


	4. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 4

"Christian get out of the car please," "Christian your late for school"... "Christian Grey get in there now!".

my mother felt she was talking to herself, i wasnt listening i just sat in the back of her car with my mother and father up front, why did i have to come to a new school anyway? its not as if il be here for very long... my mother interrupted my thoughts "Elena has kindly offered to pick you up from school today, thats nice of her isnt it Christian?"

"Yeah mom very nice"... what my mom didnt no is Elena didnt do nice, being nice doesnt get you anywhere in life.

"Christian so help me if you wont walk in there of your own accord il drag you", "yes alright i get it dad" my parents could tell i wasnt the slightest bit interested in going to this school or any of the other ones they took me too but in the end i didnt have a choice im stuck at Brindleyford Academy. what a crappy name good job theres no uniform i hate uniforms, ive got to make this school stick with it being my last year hear, Elenas warned me the next time i screw up i will not welcome the punishments so ive decided no more screw ups.

I take a deep breath and exit the car my mother says goodbye and reminds me about Elena, my father grabs hold of the top of my arm and drags me down the music block we get to a large wooden door and i knock on it lightly, no answer.

i knock again and again i stand there looking at my father who doesnt look happy at all, next thing i no im being dragged through the door into a large basic room with nothing really special about it, we walk quickly over to the teacher who looks like a fucking doosh, hes giving my father a big beaming smile as dad introduces himself to Mr. Jones and i swear i see doller signes spring in his eyes from the mention of the 'Grey'.

"Christian" Mr doosh bag says to me "would you take a seat theres a spare one there" and he points with his head, i look up and spot the seat as i make my way over souly focused on getting to the seat and ignoring this stupid fucking class away, dont get me wrong i love music i would just rather be playing it than talking about it.

i drop my bag and kick it under the chair, as i go to sit down i hear "Christian! me and your mother do not buy items for you to treat them like footballs" yeah...yeah...yeah i say to myself, with a short sharp nod from my father to make sure ive got the message hes gone.

i groan inward as Mr. Jones starts getting us to speak about ourselves, i cant be dealing with this shit i dont want to get to no anyone im happy with my own company working on my own, i look down at the floor what an ugly coloured carpet...

"Tabitha would you like to go next?" the girl sitting next to me stands, i keep my head down till i hear her speak " hi my names Tabitha Stone" i look up to see her face shes rocking the emo look she would be quite pretty without all that crap on her face but i guess its war paint... hmmmm she wants to be a singer does she? write songs? i wonder if she has a good voice?

i stand just as Tabatha sits down i suppose im going to have to say something il keep it short and sweet "my names Christian Grey and i play piano" and with that im back in my seat, i see Tabitha out of the corner of my eye mouth open eyes wide what did she think i was going to do spill my guts to everyone here? no thanks...not my thing.

Mr. Jones decideds to put us into couples singers and musicians to practice a song of choice to perform at the end of the day, for some reason i want to be paired with Tabitha i want to listen to her voice... god whats wrong with me today?


	5. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 5

Tabi pov:

I sit in my seat glancing around the large circle of bodies around me, oh god whos Mr. Jones going to pair me with?

" Can all the singers please stand?" i stood and tried to stay calm i secretly wanted to be paired with Christian but then again every girl in here wanted that aswell and to be honest i couldnt blame them just looking at him made me want to scream, uhh how can someone that gorgeous be here? its insane... "Jess you will be paired with Christian and Tabitha you will be paired with Jack". Grrrrrr Jess the bleach blonde barbie doll of the music group was grinning from ear to ear she had a bite now all she had to do was real him in and from the looks of her she was ready to pull him out of the water and suffocate him, Christian on the other hand looked really pissed.

Jack walked over do me and introduced himself " Hi im Jack il be your devoted partner for the rest of the day" and with that Jack kissed me hand, i couldnt help but let a giggle out Christian wipped his head up to shoot an icey glare towards Jack... Jesus Grey whats your problem?

Jack took my arm and led me away towards the piano, "you play piano Jack?"

"nope"

"then why are we at the piano if you dont play?"

"i just thought it would be funny to piss Mr. Pretty off over there"

"you mean Christian?"

"yeah Christian... have you seen the girls drooling over him god look even Jess is doing it now".

Oh im guessing someones a little jelous of Christian, dont get me wrong Jack is attractive hes an inch or two shorter than Christian, jet black messy hair, deep brown eyes, a gorgeous baby face, a good body and a sweet smile, ive seen Jack around a couple of times round school hes very popular with the ladies, hes always had a thing for Louise but theyve never had a chance to speak as they are never in contact.

Christian on the other hand is breath taking his gorgeous hair is a mess like Jacks but Christians is a dark copper colour... "right shall we start Tabitha or are you going to gawp at Grey all day?" "huh? sorry Jack just thinking thats all" "uh huh course you were... and what or who were you thinking about?" Jack said with a knowing smirk "if you really must no i was thinking of a song we could do... and please before we start can you call me Tabi or Tabz please".

"ok ok... Tabz it is then.. so Tabz what song could we do?" i opened my mouth to respond when he spoke "Do you play piano?" i turnt round to see Christian standing directly behind me, he was so close i had to take a step back, Jess was standing as close as she could get to Christian without jumping on him. "excuse me?" Jack said in confusion i rolled my eyes and turnt back to face Christian, oh god he really is beautiful i find my self stuttering "um... n..no, he doesnt play, w...we we were just..." i clear my thoat to try and fix the stuttering mess ive become.

"Jack doesnt play piano, he was just sitting there working out what song were going to do" there and breath, Christians eyes drag away from Jack to focas on me, his eyes widen as he looks into mine i feel a spark as we lock eyes it feels like we stand there forever in a little bubble untill Jess clears her throat "come on Christian lets get to practicing, i bet your amazing on piano" she flutters her eyelashes at him.

me and Christian roll our eyes in unisen we catch what weve just done and Christian smirks at me and i blush, Jack grabs my hand and leads me away from him muttering something under his breath about pretty boys.

Christians pov...

i watch as Tabitha is led away from me, what the hell just happened? ive seen girls blush for me before but the way it settled over Tabithas cheeks was just so... cute!

Jess drags me over to the piano where i sit on the bench, oh lord please let her have a good voice just to make this more bearable, Jess is not my type at all not that i really have a type the only woman i find attractive is Elena, but i suppose Tabitha quickly falls into that category what is it about her?

"Christian what do you think we should play?" Jess asks me flicking her hair over her shoulder and leaning over the piano, i think shes trying to flirt with me if she is she isnt doing a very good job.

"i dont no Jess what ever you decided il just play it" i dont really want to do this especially not with Jess, "oh i have the perfect song you can play for me..." and she wispers it into my ear, i groan cause its not the sort of thing i play but i agree to it as its her choice.

Just then Mr. Jones walks over to me with Jack behind him i wonder whats going on, "Jess, Christian change of plan, Jess your going to be working with Jack and Tabitha will come work with Christian, the song that Tabitha has chosen to do is better with piano so im going to swap you... is that ok?" Jess looks devastated i feel like grinning but i keep my face impassive so i dont look excited to work with Tabitha " Yes sir, i guess its ok" Jess says as she walks off with Jack.

i scan the room looking for Tabitha but i cant see her " uh Mr. Jones wheres Tabitha?" "shes down the hall with the drama group, go find her if you would like Christian" i rise from my stool to search for Tabitha as i walk down the hall towards another large room with the word "Drama" written on the door, i knock to be polite after a minute the door flies open and im greated by another blonde "hi im looking for Tabitha Stone" the blonde looks me over as if shes making sure im good enough to talk with Tabitha... what the hell who does this broad think she is? im about to say something to her when she turns round and yells "Rox... yo boxey Roxy..." i frown at her who the hell is Roxy? im looking for Tabitha does this girl not understand english? "whats your name?" "Christian" "Rox theres a Christian here for you" just then i spot Tabitha coming out of the door at the side of the room, she looks breath taking shes changed her clothes and her make up, shes in a pair of black shorts that show off her detectable legs and a little white vest t shirt that sits on her hips her face is clean of make up and her beautiful eyes shine, she locks eyes with me and smiles a shy smile and i feel like the winds been knocked out of me.

"Christian... what are you doing here? i thought you were rehursing with Jess" Tabitha is now in front of me next to the bossy blonde who is just looking back and forth between me and Tabitha, "Rox you not going to introduce me to your "friend"?" Tabitha rolls her eyes at the girl who just grins at her "uh... Louise Thorn, Christian Grey, Christian this is Louise... my soon to be ex best friend" Louise glares at Tabitha "wow Rox... chill ya beans, So Christian to what does Rox owe this visit?" i frown at Louise i dont understand why she keeps calling Tabitha Rox, "Lou can you give us a sec please il be there in a min" "you better not keep me and the girls waiting Rox" and with that she turns on her heel and leaves.

once were alone in the room Tabitha ushers me in through the door and asks me again why im there "uh Mr. Jones has changed his mind Jess is now working with Jack and your working with me... is that ok?" why am i so nervous about getting her approval? im Christian Grey i dont give a shit... usually but for some reason i want approval from Tabitha.

"Yeah Christian ofcourse its ok, to be honest i wasnt looking forward to working with Jack he was getting on my nerves" she giggles and i smile i like making her laugh so i add " il let you in on a secret... Jess was getting on my nerves too" she laughs a little louder at that and my smile gets bigger, our eyes lock again and i feel the air change around us its like electrified in a matter of seconds.

our bubble is popped by Louise bloody Thorn popping her head round the door shouting us "OI LOVE BIRDS, GET YOU ASS IN HERE NOW ROX WEVE ONLY GOT AN HOUR TILL LUNCH SERIOUSLY MOVE IT" GRRRR that girl will end up being a thorn in my ass if she doesnt stop.

"uh id better get back to the music room, il leave you to do whatever you gotta do" i dont want to go back but i cant stay without an invitation the thought makes me feel sick she looks so sweet and gorgeous i dont want to be away from her, "Christian..." Tabithas sweet voice penetrates my ears i turn my head and look over my shoulder "hmmmmm" i say as our eyes lock again but Tabitha breaks our lock by looking down " would you like to stay and watch? im sure the dance group would love it" thats the only invite i need i turn back round and grab Tabithas hand and pull her towards the door Louise walked through moments ago.

The door opens and its a large dance studio with a wooden floors and wall of floor to celing mirrors, the girls cheer when Tabitha walks in and Louise pipes up " couldnt tear yourself away from lover boy so you brought him with you did ya?" she laughs and Tabitha goes red " Shut up Lou, Christian go sit down over there please" i cant believe ive got to break our precious contact but i do as she asks, i walk over to the seats facing the mirrors so i can see everything thats going on... Tabitha goes up to a mic stood infront of her while Louise and the rest of the group get into position... i get comfortable ready for them to start this should be interesting.


	6. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 6

Christians pov:

Minutes go by but they feel like hours i sit transfixed on Tabitha as she stands at the mic waiting for the music... and then i hear her she opens her mouth and the most beautiful and sexy voice i have ever heard fills my ears.

The girls dance around dipping there bodies and swaying there hips but all im focased on is Tabitha, she suddenly changes as the words fall from her mouth " i can make you feel like a man" and she winks at me... i swear my dick just flinched.

She smiles at me but im stuck with my mouth open, as the song finishes the girls run over to her and tell her that she was amazing, i couldnt agree more but its not just her singing voice im captivated by its everything about her, i need to find out more... much more.

Once the girls start to pack up there things Tabitha walks over to me and says " so what do you think?" it takes my brain a couple of seconds to recognize my mouth and i stutter " that was amazing... where did you learn to sing like that?" just as she opens her mouth to answer she gets a text on her face drops as she reads it... what the hell?

Tabitha pov:

I open my phone quickly to see who the text is from... Elena? why is she texting me?

It reads:

" Tabi darling your mother asked me to pick you up from school, as i will also be picking up my friends son aswell. meet me outside your music room when you have finished."

i groan great i wonder why mom asked Elena to pick me up? and i wonder who the boy is shes also picking up? my thoughts are inturpted when Lou yells "Cmon you too its lunch time and im starving"

i laugh the thought of Lou going hungry is very funny as it never happens she can stuff her face with what ever she likes and shes still slim lucky bitch.

"ok ok god forbid you go hungry Lou" Christian is glaring at me... whats his problem? about a minute ago he was beaming and now hes pissed oh god.

After a very quiet lunch me and Christian head back to music its our last our till were done for the day so we crack on with our song weve chosen to do Hero by Maria Cary as its a song Christian knows well and do do i, once were done we go back and watch as some parents and friends are invited in to listen.

Just as me and Christian are called to do our song theres a sharp knock on the door, everyones silent as the lady walks in shes dressed in killer red heals, a black tight figer hugging dress and her bleach blonde hair sits perfect on the top of her head... ELENA...

Christian pov

I take my seat at the grand piano, i take a deep breath and try and steady my neves... yes im nervous, i dont want to mess up not just for me but for Tabitha too.

I havent heard her sing this song yet but she assures me she knows it perfectly as its one of her favorates another little piece to her puzzle.

Theres a sharpe knock at the door and im brought out of my dream to hear a womans voice " Hello im Elena Lincon..." she trails off as my head sweeps up she locks eyes with me and smiles. Shit! shit! SHIT!

Elenas eyes move from me to Tabitha and again she smiles... no no no whats going on? i dont understand... "Hello Mrs Lincon, who are you here to see please?" says Mr. Jones "oh im here for Christian and Tabitha..." WHAT! Why would she want Tabitha? Tabithas head spins round to the mention of my name and i think shes wondering the same as me... "ok Mrs Lincon please take a seat... Christian...Tabitha when your ready"

Ok am i ready? no im not... but i dont have a choice, Tabithas looking at me to start so i allow my fingers to travel along the keys, Tabithas beautiful voice takes my breath away every so often i look up and i see Tabitha staring at me... as if shes singing to..me a slow lazy smile creeps across my face and at the moment i let her beautiful amazing soul touching voice wash over me and im lost to her.


	7. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memoris ch 7

Tabitha:

Once the song comes to a close i have the biggest smile on my face as everyones applause washes over me, i feel so proud i look over to Christian and he wears the same type of smile.

Me and Christian lock eyes as everyone starts to file out of the room, i look at him and feel so happy i cant believe i only met Christian a few hours ago and i already feel so close to him... were completely in our own world when Elena comes over to us thats when i realise we are alone, Elena beckons me over and away from Christian in a hushed low tone she says " that was amazing Tabi i never knew you had such an amazing voice" i blush " thanks Elena..." "Tabi, darling can you go wait for me in my car? i just need a quick word with Christian..." i look over to Christian and his smile has gone and is now replaced by a cold glare i dont no if its directed at me or Elena but either way i dont want any part of it... " sure Elena no problem" i look over to Christian and smile and wave " bye Christian" and with that i head to Elenas car.

Christian pov:

"bye Christian"

and with that Tabitha leaves the room and Elena turns to me... " well hello Christian that was lovely playing..." "cut the crap Elena what are you doing here?" ive never spoken to Elena in this way before but i want to no what she said to Tabitha.

" Now Christian, thats not a very nice way to speak to me... have you suddenly forgot who i am?" her voice is now dead devode of any sort of emotion... i no this voice its Elenas dom persona.

Shit! im in trouble... "no miss im sorry... forgive me" i say looking down i dont really want to get into this here, i just want to get out of here i wish i could catch up with Tabitha but shes proberly long gone by now... Damit!

"Come Christian, il take you home" Elena says and i can tell shes smirking without looking up, i grab my bag and walk behind her out of the door.

When we get to Elenas car i remember my duties and go round to the drivers side to open the door for her, she says nothing but cups my cheek and winks at me... i wonder if we will go straight home or whether she will make a detour to her house? the thought sends a shiver straight to my groin as i walk back round to the car as i open the door and slide in im completly in shock... sitting in the back of Elenas car is Tabitha... what the fuck is going on? im so confused!

Tabitha has the same look as me as Elena speaks " Tabi sweetheart, i text you earlier and told you i was also picking my friends son up too" Tabitha just smiles and nods as Elena pulls off.

Through out the ride me and Tabitha exchange glances, were both very confused i need to talk to her about how she knows Elena... but i cant do it now and we cant do it at school, how am i going to get her on her own? then it hits me... "Tabitha..." i look to her and she looks back me with those beautiful eyes " yes Christian... and please call me Tabi" she smiles "ok...Tabi... could i have a look in your...uhhh music book i just need to copy a few things down" Tabi opens her school bag and pulls out a book and a pen and then she unbluckles and slides next to me, we are so close i can smell her hair... she used coconut shampoo this morning it fills my sences untill im consumed.

I take the pen from her and quickly scrowl a message in the back of her book...

"my cell number call me later need to talk to you... C"

i scribble my cell at the bottom and give her pen and book back just as we pull up to a house this must be Tabis house "Tabi, tell your mother il be round later i need to speak to her" Elena says turning to face her " ok Elena, see you later Christian" the door opens and she steps out.

i watch as Tabi walks to the door and turns to wave i find myself waving back... but as we drive off im met with the icy glare of Elena Lincon


	8. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 8

Tabitha pov

I walk through the door and pull out my phone to text Christian:

* Hi Christian this is my number T *

My mom isnt home so i go upstairs to start my homework...

I hear the front door open and close and i no moms home "Tabi... Tabi sweetheart are you home?" my mom yells through the house just as i finish my homework, i open my door and run down stairs "hiya mom, Mrs Lincon dropped me off" i find mom in the kitchen, shes making a cup of tea " oh sweetie that was nice of her" then i remember what Elena said to me " oh mom Mrs. Lincon says she'll be round to see you later".

" oh yes huni, shes got a new dom lined up for me"... yes yes i no my mother is a sub, she got pregnant with me when a condom broke from a previous dom, ive always known about my mothers sexual activities ive been brought up with the world of BDSM hanging over my head, mom met Elena a few years ago they met at a "party" and they clicked, Elena helps my mom find doms and thats how i no Elena.

Elenas always been like an aunty to me, shes always been there when i needed her shes like family to me... but i cant shake a strange feeling about her and Christian.

Somehow during my thoughts my bodys been on auto pilot ive eaten dinner and now im in the shower, i shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts.

I dress and im downstairs just as mom opens the door to Elena, "Tabi baby Would you mind going upstairs for a little bit? me and Elena need to talk" this is my mothers way of saying " Tabi, go away so i can learn about my next dom" i roll my eyes and smile sweetly as i turn on my heel and climb the stairs again.

As i sit in my bedroom listening to mom and Elena laughing and talking my cell starts ringing...

"Hello..."

"Tabi?"

"Christian?"

I walk over to my bedroom door and close it and keep my voice low i dont want Elena to know im talking with Christian.

"Tabi... i need to talk to you"

Christian sounds out of breath, like hes been running...

"ok... whats up?"

" i need to no how you no Elena Lincon"

"shes a friend of my mothers... why" i dont really want to get into this conversation right now.

"Shit!... Tabi i need to see you... please can you get away?"

"Yeah i suppose... are you going to tell me whats going on?"

Christians worrying me now i dont no what it is but i feel very uneasy

"Not over the phone no... look come to my house, il text you the address dont tell anyone your coming here... come as soon as possible PLEASE TABI!"

SHIT! now im really worried...

"yes Christian ok il come as soon as you text me, and i promise i wont tell anyone..."

i can hear Christians relief through the phone.

" Good right il text you now, please come soon... laters Tabi"

and hes gone...

Christian pov:

I drop my gaze from Elenas icy stare just as i feel my cell vibrate...

* Hi Christian this is my number T * a small smile pulls at my lips, she text me... i cant believe how happy i feel from such a small message... as i look up i realise were heading to Elenas... this is going to hurt.

Elena drops me off at home, im very uncomfortable, i remind myself not to piss Elena off again, my back feels like its on fire the bite of the wip will leave a sting for a while... i feel so cheated after taking a major wipping for my mouth to Elena in the drama room i was then punished again by fucking Elena but not being allowed to come... i need to cool shower but my back will protest so i give in and subject my body to a boiling hot shower, the heat numbs my painfull skin i feel like i could stand there forever.

After getting out and drying i find a message on my cell, im really hoping its from Tabi... i really like her, but as i open it i realise its Elena:

* Same time tomorrow? *

I have to text back otherwise the punishment will be worse...

* Im busy tomorrow, will be working on my grades *

Its a complete lie but Elena doesnt no that.

* Good boy... ok


	9. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 9

T pov:

The air is cool and the sky is darkening... looks like rain.

The walk to Christians house wasnt too bad, hes pretty close to me actually 15-20 mins walk.

As i walk through the neighborhood i see the houses change dramatically, there big and beautiful theyre all expertly maintained and stunning, Christian is so lucky i would kill to live in a huge beautiful house like these... not that my home isnt beautiful it is but its not anything like these.

I re read the text Christian sent me giving me his address as i walk up the path... he must have made a mistake this place is like a palace.

I walk up to the huge front door and knock, i stand back and take a deep breath...

A beautiful woman answers the door, this must be Christians mother shes stunning... she looks like shes in her early 50s, hair dark blonde hair is styled lovely she has beautiful soft eyes and shes smiling at me...

"Yes dear, may i help you?"

im so nervous, i clear my throat before i speak...

"Hi my names Tabitha Stone... im looking for Christian..."

The lady smiles lovingly at me again as she says " Hello Tabitha, im Christians mother please call me Grace... il just tell Chris..."

"mom?"

"Christian, darling.. Tabithas here for you"

i hear Christian before i see him, it sounds like hes running but when he comes into my line of sight i can tell theres something wrong... hes very pale, hes walking funny and he looks in pain but when he sees me his whole persona changes he forces him self up, tall and ridged he locks his eyes on mine as he comes closer, in a slit second his hand finds mine and im being dragged through this beautiful but huge house.

Once we reach outside Christian turns to me, his expression is unreadable somethings bothering him and i have no idea what it is... Christian looks like hes dealing with an internal struggle his hands run continuously through his hair as he takes in a shakey breath and starts.

"Tabi... thankyou for coming i need to talk to you desperately... what im about to ask you is serious and i need you to answer me honestly please... can you do that for me please?"

I think about this for a minuet or two, i can be honest about somethings but not all after all i cant break my NDA... Elena would kill me.

"Il try my best to be honest with you Christian under one condition..."

"What Tabz?"

"Your completely honest with me... got it?"

Christian thinks about it, his eyes are closed his brow is creased... when he opens his eyes again he looks nervous, i swallow hard.

"ok... deal"

"Tabz... how do you no Elena Lincon?"

"Shes a friend of my mothers..."

I answer honestly cause thats what she is... a "friend"

"How do YOU no Elena?" i ask Christian... he looks away from me as he quietly says

"Shes a friend of my mothers too"

That statement just floored me, surely not... Grace she cant be into this type of shit... can she?

"Shit... Tabz this is such a hard conversation to have with you..."

Christian runs his hands through his hair again i need to help with this but if hes not on my wave length how can we talk?

"Ok... Christian... im going to say something to you now, but if you dont no what it means promise you wont ask me... promise me Christian"

I look into his eyes i need this from him i need faith that if he doesnt understand he wont dig any deeper

Christian cups my face with his hands and wipes a stray tear from my cheek

" I promises you tabz if i dont understand i wont pry... you have my word"

"SAFE WORDS!" I blurt it out i couldnt bare the word in my head any longer but from the look on Christians face im beggining to wish i hadnt said anything, hes gone... the soft sweet Christian that was wiping my tears away just moments ago has now been replaced by someone else... something else.

Christians hands drop to his side and his eyes darken, oh shit what have i done?

C pov:

"SAFE WORDS!"

...SHIT! its true she does not Elena in the same way fuck... that means... if Elenas touched Tabi il kill her, i feel darkness and anger creep over me i try to fight it but i cant the thought of Elena or anyone else hurying Tabi makes me wanna punch someone, anything but i cant i have to try and get ahold of this shit.

I grab Tabis hand and pull in towards the boathouse, once were inside i lead Tabi up the stars and through the door at the top... i need to be alone with her.

"Sit down Tabz... please"

She does as i ask and i can see how nervous she is... she knows i no something but she doesnt no what i need to start talking but its so hard.

"Tabi. i don't no how to begin saying this to you... i understand what " safewords" are"

The look on Tabi's face would be so comical if this wasnt such a serious conversation, she opens her mouth to speak but closes it just as quickly.

"Christian i... i need to no how much about this conversation you no, do you have any idea how to prove to me that you understand what we are talking about with out actually saying the words?"

I look at Tabi and then i realise i dont have to tell her when i can show her, i need to do this for her aswell as me maybe if i show her then we may feel more comfortable with doing this

"Tabz i need you to close your eyes, and when i ask you to open thm again do it please but dont ask me any questions until i tell you please... this is going to be very hard for me to do this so i need you to understand"

She looks at me and i can see more fear in her eyes, i dont want her to be scared of me if anything i need her to feel safe but this is the only way of getting the message across, i stand a stare at her for which feels like an age but its only seconds, Tabi drops her head and closes her eyes suddenly i spark shoots through me she looks so submissive... i quickly push that thought away i cant deal with that now not at a time like this.

I close my own eyes and turn round quickly and pull my tshirt above my head and hold it over my arms, i need her to look now before i lose my nerve and put my shirt back on. Its now or never...

"Open your eyes Tabitha"


	10. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 10

T pov:

I sit quietly waiting for Christian to tell me what to do, ive done this before i no how to act i am officially a sub in training, Elena taught me discipline from an early age if i did something wrong when she was looking after me she would make me kneel on the ground, back on my heels, with my hands and arms resting on my legs with my head bowed. I would have to stay in this position till Elena would give me permission to look up, speak or move.

In the begging i used to hate this but after a while i learnt to gain from it i channeled my anger everything i had i let go when i was in that position, so in many ways Elena helped me, before i met her i was hell no one could help me i was so angry with everyone and everything, my mother being a sub, my "father" being a Dom, him not giving two shits about me or my mom.

My mom told me that when she told him she was pregnant with me he went mad, he cancelled their contract right there and then and kicked her out he gave her money and a car and the stuff he had already brought her but apart from that she or me for that matter didn't exist anymore, hearing my mother break down over " the only man she ever loved" was hell, growing up we struggled and god did we struggle that was until mom met Elena, mom says shes her saviour she helped mom get back into the "scene" and she found my mom her first Dom, over the weekends mom had to "work" i stayed with Elena and that's when my hidden training started.

Nothing heavy ever happened, no slapping, spanking, whipping etc happened i learnt how to control my emotions and my feelings towards my mom and my "father", my mom always told me she never wanted the subs life for me but basically growing up with it was the only thing i knew without it things would be so much harder to cope with and i don't no if i would survive.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by Christian.

"Open your eyes Tabitha"

I do as im asked but i gasp at the sight before my eyes, Christian naked from the waist up with his back to me, his back is red raw with lashings that look like whip marks, i feel tears welling up in my eyes, no i cant let this happen... i will not cry in front of Christian.

"Tabz... i no first hand about our conversation... do you no what caused the marks on my back?"

I stay quiet and just stare at his back, i no exactly what caused those marks but im too scared to speak.

"TABITHA!" Christian yells i jump why the fuck am i so jumpy? i have had people scream in my face all my life and not even a single hair on my head flinches but the second Christians voice is raised im shitting myself... this isn't me...

"A whip..." i whisper

"WHAT"

"You've been whipped... pretty recently from the looks of those marks they look fresh... maybe yesterday or..."

I trail off i no when he got those marks and im sure i no the person who did it aswell

"Christian... did Elena do that to you?"

Christian doesn't answer he just quickly slips his t shirt back on trying very hard not to irritate his already sore back, when hes finished he turns to me, i quickly dip my head down as i cant look him in the eye, i no he will feel uncomfortable talking about this with me but it needs to be done.

Christian comes over to me and hooks his finger under my chin and locks eyes with me, i dont no what to say or what to do but in that moment i feel so exposed like he can see though me...

"Yes Tabi... Elena did this to me"

"Why?"

Christian hesitates he doesn't want to explain it but i see it in his eyes, i no the answer already without him having to say the words.

"Your her sub?"

As i say this Christians eyes widen, and ive got my answer...

C P.O.V

"Your her sub?"

Shit! she does no... how the fuck does she no BDSM?

"You no BDSM?" OH MY GOD i cant believe ive just said that to Tabi she doesnt look the type what the hell is she doing getting messed up in this shit?

"Yes Christian i no BDSM"

"Are you a sub?" please say no.. please say no

"No Christian im not...but my...my mother is"

Those words make my heart stop, her mother, her mother is a sub... thats how she knows it must be but what about her father?

"Wha..what about your father?"

Tabi looks down at her feet, she doesnt want to tell me but for some reason i feel like i need to no

"My father... he.. he"

She starts to cry and i feel like a shit i dont want to make her cry but if her mother was is a sub then what does that mean about her father? i run over to Tabi and sit next to her i want to hold her, cuddle her close to take the pain away but we only met today and i dont no how she would feel about me trying to be physically close to her, i run my fingers through my hair to try calm the raising panic inside of me usually it helps but nothing is working at the moment.

"My...father was my mothers Dom" and with that she lunges at me and presses her head against my chest, it hurts... it hurts so fucking bad but i wrap my arms around her and rock her back and forth as gently as possible while she crys into my chest.

Her father was a Dom? oh god this is worse than i thought, what happened when he found out her mother was pregnant? was he happy? obviously not... i no Elena says that love doesnt happen to people like us that it holds no play in how we are and that emotions make us weak and worthless but even i no that everyone has feelings even me and im one of the most fucked up people i no.

After a while of Tabi crying her breathing settles and i realise shes fallen asleep with her head tucked under my chin, i take a minuet to look at her while shes calm i decide to move her and lay her down onto the bed. Her face a calm but she has lines down her cheeks from her tears and her massara has run but as i look at her she looks even more beautiful tham she did when i first met her this morning.

I have barely known her 24 hours but i feel like ive known her my whole life, how can this happen? ive never felt this way about anyone not even Elena, and Elena used to be my world she helped me, saved me even she taught me controle in all things she set me straight and she made me conserntrate on my life.

From the look on Tabis face it looks like shes out for the count from a little while, as i get up to leave i hear a faint vibrating sound coming from Tabis jeans, i walk over and find its her cell i slowly remove it from her as not to disturbe her i read the message its from her mom:

* Tabi, Elena has set up a meeting for me tonight sweetheart. Ask Louises mom if you can stay at hers tonight and then come home early in the morning for a change of clothes... sorry sweetheart but i need to do this. I love you Mom x *

I breath a sigh i no how it feels to be consumed by this but how can she keep ditching Tabi like this? so she told her mom and Elena that she was with Louise tonight? i wonder if i should wake Tabi up to tell her that her mom has text? i decide to go get a drink and ask my mom if Tabz can stay here tonight as her mother is... oh i dont no il think of something to tell her.

Just as im about to leave the room something comes over me, its a strange feeling i dont want to leave her i dont understand why but i dont want to even if it is to go talk to my mother i feel like she wont be safe even though i no she will... uhh i hate these "feelings" there so foren to me.

I walk over to where Tabi is sleeping and place a gentle kiss on her lips and whisper to her

"Sleep baby, il be back... i promise"

and with that i leave her to sleep.


	11. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 11

C POV:

As i start walking back across the grass from the boathouse to the main house i start thinking about everything about Elena, about my life, my choices and of course about Tabi, ive never felt this connection before shes different shes kind and sweet and a breath of fresh air when i held her it hurt, it stung my chest and it felt like it was on fire but it felt right in a way ive never held anyone before her ive never had the guts to but i couldnt help it. yes ok i no she through herself at me but i was more than willing to catch her and comfort her... god what is this girl doing to me this morning i couldnt give a shit about anyone and now im constantly wondering if everyones ok.

"Christian? sweetie is everything ok?" ahhhh my loving mother always worried about me, i give her a smile as i explain,

"yeah... um hey mom..."

"yes darling" mom comes over to the couch to sit with me i dont no what to say i hope she doesnt get mad at me for asking but i need to no Tabi is somewhere safe tonight

" mom, Tabis mom just text her and said she had to go to work and she wouldnt be home until really late, she has asked her friend Louise if she can stay the night with her but Lousie is at a family dinner and also wont be home till late... what im trying to ask is can Tabi stay here tonight and then go home in the morning?"

I stare at my mother who is starring back at me, this is another first ive never asked for someone to stay over before let alone asking my mom if a GIRL can stay over, i feel a blush rush across my face and i can feel embarressment for even having to ask, mom sees this and opens her mouth to speak.

"Where is Tabi now?"

"Shes asleep in the boathouse..."

Moms looking at me with suspision, oh i no that look she thinks me and Tabi have been at it in the boat house... i have to say something, i have to put her straight at least not for my sake but for Tabis i dont want anyone thinking bad of her.

"WOW! Mom i know that look nothing happened between me and Tabi in the boathouse shes tired cause... cause"

I put my head in my hands and let out a sigh i look straigh at my mother and tell her the truth

"Tabi got upset, we were talking and getting to know each other, we only met this morning and through out the day weve become friends... i asked her where her dad was and it turns out that when her mother told her father she was pregnant with Tabi he chucked her mom out with nothing, Tabis never met him and as far as he knows she doesnt exsist to him anymore."

My mothers face softens as shes listening to me so i continue...

"Tabi got really upset, i didnt no what to do and... and... she through herself at me i caught her and cuddled her to my chest" that made my mothers eyes shoot up in suprise "and then after a while she fell asleep cuddled up to me, as far as i no shes still asleep"

I look towards my mom who has tears falling down her cheeks, i scoot over to her and put my arm around her i feel strange doing this but anything to make my mom feel better, after the last tear has shed my moms eyes i wipe her tears with my thumbs and ask "better?"

"Yes dear thankyou, i must say what ever that girl has done to you i hope she sticks around its lovely to see you smile" and i agree with her Tabi does make me want to smile, she makes me want to laugh and cry but how can this be ive known her a matter of hours.

My mom gives me the go ahead for Tabi to stay with us tonight in the spare room ofcourse, i run back across the lawn to tell Tabi that shes staying with me tonight i hope shes as happy about it as i am.


	12. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 12

Tabi

I wake up confused and stunned where am i? how did i get here?

As i try to get up i hear the door open and Christian walking through.

"Ah your awake, i brought you some juice i thought you might be thirsty"

he walks over to me and sits down on the edge of the bed as close to me as possible without touching, as i take the juice from him our fingers brush it feels like electricity is flowing from Christians body to mine, i feel my heart flutter and my breathing spikes how can this happen from one simple touch?

i no Christian felt it too as he gazes at me his lips part and his breathing speeds, oh god how i want him... ive never had sex before but i want Christian Grey... right here right now.

i get the feeling that Christian feels the same as his eyes lock on my lips, he leans in and i do the same our lips are almost touching when theres a knock on the door startling us both.

C pov

Tabi had THE most beautiful lips i have ever seen, there soft and pink and juicy.

I felt the spark run through us and call i can do is follow my bodys desire for her, Elena would kill me if she knew but i wont tell her and i no Tabz wont tell her so were ok, i lean in to kiss her i want her... so badly just as our lips are about to lock theres a loud knock at the door and we jump apart, i run my fingers through my hair if thats Elliott im going to kill him... as i get up to answer the door i realise its my mother.

"Dinners ready darling, oh Tabi sweetheart you look very pale are you feeling ok?"

"yes im fine... i should be going"

"nonsense honey your staying tonight, its all sorted dont worry"

Tabi looks at me with wide scarred eyes and i smile and nod that its ok i take her hand and lead her back to the house for dinner.

Its pretty late after dinner so i show Tabi the room she will be staying in tonight its ajoined to my room due to a partition door i tell her il keep it unlocked just incase she needs me during the night and with that i kiss her cheek and tell her goodnight.

As i climb into bed i cant help thinking what Tabis doing? is she awake? asleep? is she happy?, upset?...is she thinking about me? god i hope shes thinking about me... i groan to myself what the fuck am i doing? i punch my pilliow into a ball and do my best to sleep.

T pov:

Im awoken to a loud bang, shit theres a storm outside... i hate storms, i need to be anywhere but on my own for a second im confused about where i am i run towards a do and swing it open and suddenly im stood in another bedroom and thats when i see Christian sat in bed reading a book with his ipod on, he must be blocking out the thunder.

Christian spots me and takes his earphones out and says

" hey why are you awake?"

BANG...

I jump out of my skin and im trembling, my teeth are chattering and i feel like a block of ice.

Christian must see this cause as he tolds his hand out for me to take he gently pulls me to him so we end up under the covers of his bed cuddling.

I feel so warm, it feels nice, Christian is rubbing my back to stop me from trembling its hard i usually have so much controle over my emotions but being here so close to Christian makes me lose complete controle my body feels like its on auto pilot with him it goes against eveything i no but it feels so right...

"better?" Christian asks looking down at me, i realise ive stopped trembling but the storm is still very heavy.

Theres another bang and Christian wraps his arm tighter around me, i cuddle in to Christian and tilt my head up "thankyou" i whisper to Christian, he gives me a confused look and waits for me to explain "thankyou for saving me from the storm" i lean up and kiss Christians cheek.

C POV

"Thankyou..." huh what on earth is she thanking me from i havent done anything, when Tabi came into my room i was engrossed in a book and i had my ipod on there were two reasons for distracting myself first was the storm and second... my thoughts of Tabi being in the next room as me is very distracting, since coming to bed ive had a constant hard on just thinking about her i need to calm myself down.

Just as im thinking about taking matters into my own hands the partition door flys open and to my shock Tabis standing infront of me shaking like a leaf i hate seeing her like this i wonder if its the storm.

"hey why are you awake"

BANG...

Shit shes shaking worse now its defiantly the storm, i hold my hand out to her to comfort her but the second her hand touches mine i need her near me.

As i pull Tabi into bed with me shes still trembling i wrap my arms round her to try sooth her from the storm, she smells amazing and my erection is becoming strained again, how can she do this by just being close to me?

As Tabis body starts relaxing i feel the tention reduce "Better?" i want to make her feel better, i wanna protect her from everything not just from the storm but from Elena and a life of BDSM, i have no idea if Tab is active in BDSM or whether shes on the side lines but i feel like i want to no... no scratch that i NEED to no.

another bang announces itself and Tabi takes it as a cue to snuggle in further... not that i mind not one bit im enjoying having her so close "Thankyou"

"Thankyou for saving me from the storm"

Tabi lifts her head and places a single kiss on my cheek and i feel like i could stay like this forever, no school, family or Elena for that matter just us in this moment forever.

T pov

I remove my lips from Christians cheek and i hear his breath, were so close, i move my head to rest on his shoulder...

"Tabz..."

i look up to see Christians face just inches away from mine, i swallow hard as we lock our gaze.

oh how i want him... Kiss me Christian please, just as if Christian can read my mind he moves his mouth to mine as we never break our contact the kiss is sweet and gentle, i cant help it i run my fingers up into his hair its stoft, i tug on it and Christian moans i swear its the sexiest sound ive ever heard.

Christian gently rolls us over so hes on top as we continue to kiss, He grabs both of my hands and brings them above my head, i dont have time to stop and ask why as Christian runs his hand down my neck towards my breasts, im dressed in one of Christians tshirts and nothing else i moan into his mouth as he flicks his tounge in it feels so wrong but i want him and from the feel of him he wants me too.

Christian starts to move my tshirt up to reviele my naked body underneith, his hands cup my breasts as he moves his mouth to my neck i can feel a pull in my stomach, its amazing and i never want this night to end.

Christian moves down kissing, sucking and biting till he arrives at my pert nipples Christian closes his mouth around my nipple and i stiffle the urge to scream im panting now i feel Christians breath travel back up my body as our lips meet again its match of tounges theres so much passion in this kiss, i feel his hands move down to my sex his thumb brushes over my clit oh god it feels exsqusit

"Christian... please" he pushes a finger inside me and i feel like going to explode, Christian pushes another finger in and pumps back and forth getting harder his thumb circles my clit again and i start to tense "Chris...Christian...please"

"come for me Tabi..." he moves his mouth back to mine as i spiral into estacy my legs stiffen and my body shakes.

When i come down from my high i realise Christian is naked above me "Are you sure you wanna do this Tabz?"

"please Christian... i want you"

Christian roles a condom onto his impressive length and then settles between my legs waiting for permission again i lift my hips to meet him.

slowly... very slowly Christian pushes into me it stings and i tense Christian can sence this as he asks "Tabz... are you a virgin?"

i nod i dont dare talk as im afraid of my own voice, Christian looks away from me hes still slightly inside me and i feel like im in limbo, i want him but if he finds this too strange then things will never be the same again.

"Im really sorry but this is gonna hurt baby"

Christian closed his mouth back over mine and pulled back out and slammed back to me with force, the pain shot through my stomach i screwed my eyes shut, Christian stilled where he was and kissed my face over and over to ease the pain

"open your eyes baby... im going to move"

i open my eyes to the most memorizing grey eyes ive ever seen Christian slowly starts to move the pain is easing and is being replaced by pleasure before i no it my body is bending to Christian im moaning for more i need more

"please... Christian... harder" is all i can manage through gasps, a beautiful smile plays on his lips as he grinds his hips into me harder

"come for me baby, please i need it" and with that im lost all i see is Christian nothing else matters, "Christian..." i whisper as i look into his eyes as i fly over the edge two more hard thursts and Christian joins me "Tabitha..." Christian whispers as he stills and collapses on top of me.

He roles off me and kisses me lightly, Christian disposed the condom and climbed back into bed and holds me close, he kissed my hair as i succom to sleep

"sleep now baby"

is the last thing i hear before sleep takes over.


	13. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 13

C pov

The bright light streams through my windows and causes me to stir i role over and reach out for Tabi but i feel nothing her side of the bed is cold, where is she?

i get up and walk into her room to find it empty, i run my fingers through my hair she left? what time is it? i glance at the clock and realise its 8am she must have left to go home... but why didnt she wake me?

I walk back to my room and find a note sitting on my bedside table it reads:

Christian,

Im sorry i left this morning without waking you you looked so peaceful i didnt want to disturb you.

I kissed you goodbye before i left.

I think we need to talk about last night...

See you at school

T x

We need to talk? about last night? whats there to talk about? oh god what if she didnt enjoy herself last night? oh god what if she didnt want to... but she said she wanted me... she said she... she said...

Oh god this isnt helping she said she kissed me goodbye this morning surly that means something... i need to get up i need to see her i need to no where we go from here. I want her, more than ive ever wanted anything and it hits me... Elena! Shit!

T pov:

I hear vibrating... where is that coming from?

Buzzz... Buzzz...Buzzz

I groan and reach for my phone when i feel a pair of strong arms around me i look back and remember the amazing night we shared... my feelings are so strong for him and i only met him yesturday.

I look over at my cell and i find its Elena calling me... SHIT!

I climb out of bed and walk into the room i should have stayed in last night and take the call:

"Hello..."

"Tabitha darling, is everything ok?"

"Yes Elena everythings fine, whats up?" i need to end this conversation quickly and get back to Christian its only 6am so ive got plenty of time before i have to leave.

"Sweetie i need to talk to you its quite important, your moms found a new Dom"

"Ok... Elena im on my way home now il be there soon"

"Alright honey see you soon"

I hang up... i wonder what all this about, i get dressed and go back to Christian he looks so peaceful i cant just leave but i dont wanna wake him, i decide to leave him a note.

I leave it on his bedside table and give him a kiss on his lips and he smiles in his sleep, i creep down the stairs and out the door.

Once i get home im confronted with my mother and Elena

"Tabi sweetheart come and sit down we need to talk to you"

My mother pulls me over to the couch to where her and Elena were sitting.

"So mom Elena tells me youve got a new Dom"

Mom smiles a beautiful full tooth smile

"Yes baby, i have a new Dom...see the thing is..."

Mom looks down as if shes keeping something she doesnt want to tell me, she raises her eyes to the cases sitting in the corner of the room.

"sweetie..." Elena starts

"Your moms new Dom is in Georgia..."

My mouth drops open... Georgia? thats miles away oh god please no tell me this is a dream and im still cuddled up in bed with Christian.

"Georgia? ok... i dont understand"

Elena and mom look at each other

"Tabi... your moms new Dom lives in Georgia... your moving to live over there so your mom can work... please dont make this hard" Elena ends the sentence reverting into her Dom personna and i no not to argue.

I dont have a choice i have to go where my mom wants to go but... what about school? my friends... Christian? oh god what about Christian i need to see him i need to explain whats going on oh how am i going to tell him?

"When do we leave?" i ask in a small voice i dont want to go i want to go back to Christian, i want to stay here with him but thats not an option were only 16.

"We leave in an hour sweetie im sorry" i feel like my hearts stopped i havent got time to see Christian i havent got time to say goodbye... i feel like my heart is breaking.

"I need to call Louise i need to tell her were moving" il call her quickly and then find the rest of the time to call Christian... i run upstairs and dial Lou she doesnt answer so i leave a voice message...

"Lou...its Rox... listen your gonna hate me but im really sorry my mom told me this morning that were moving to Georgia... god this so hard um... now!" im blubbering now i need to get this under control before i talk to Christian.

" I promise il send you the new address when we get there... i love you Lou"

I hang up and try and compose myself, this is gonna be even harder that telling Louise.

I steady my breathing and dial Christians Number...

C POV

Im in the passengers seat of my mothers car while she drives me to school, my mind keeps drifting back to last night with Tabi... i had sex, in my parents house, in my room, in my bed and it was... amazing oh god just thinking about Tabi makes me want to take her again but those thoughts are sqwashed when my mother clears her throat

"What happened to Tabitha this morning?"

"She left early mom she needed to go home and shower and change for school, she left a note for me saying she would see me at school"

i say with a grin talking about Tabi makes me want to smile she has that effect on me.

"Well its lovely to see you smile Christian i must say Tabitha is good for you, ive never seen you wanting to go to school... ever"

Just as i ooen my mouth my cell starts buzzing, i see the called I.D and its Tabi i show my phone to my mother who is beaming back at me so i answer

"Hey Tabz i was just talking about you..."

theres no reply but i can here quiet sobbing on the other end

"Tabi? Tabi...baby whats wrong" i look at my mother with confusion and shes staring back at me with worried eyes

"Oh Christian... im...im so sorry" she crys down the line, whats she saying sorry for? for last night? for this morning? have i done something wrong?

"Baby whats wrong tell me please your scarring me" and she is im scarred my hearts beating so fast i want to run to her i want to hold her and tell her everything will be alright.

"Im lea... leaving" Leaving? leaving what? me? oh please dont let this be over last night, i thought we connected, i thought we had something special.

"WHAT?... What do you mean your leaving?"

"My mom got her Dom, she signed the papers last night... he lives in Georgia were moving over there so mom can work... im so sorry Christian i dont want to go but i have no choice..."

Im trying really hard to take all this information in but all im hearing is Georgia and leaving... i cant think straight i need to see her i cant just let her go... i cant... i wont

"whe...when do you leave?" im getting myself upset the thought of not having her in my life is too hard to contemplate im hoping she doesnt leave for a month or a couple of weeks at least.

In the back ground i hear a woman yell " Cmon Tabi darling we have a plane to catch..."

My heart stops... shes leaving... NOW? this cant be happening a few hours ago she was naked in my arms and in my bed and now shes telling me shea being forced to move to Georgia so her mother can sub for a new Dom.

Im starting to get angry but not at Tabi, she doesnt have a choice she has to go where her mother goes, no im not angry at Tabi... never Tabi im angry at her mother and Elena for taking her away from me.

"Tabz im coming to see you"

"mom, can you drive me to Tabis please, shes moving to Georgia today and i need to see her before she goes" i give my mom a look of desperation, mom gives me a sharp nod and spins the car round.

"Tabi...Tabz...TABITHA!" i yell but the lines dead shit shes gone...

"mom can we go any quicker please?"

"Im going as fast as i can sweetheart" and i no shes doing her best for me get to Tabi in time.

T POV

"Christian..."Christian?" shit my batterys gone oh god i need to see him...

"Tabitha?" its Elena

"Come on sweetheart the cabs waiting downstairs" i dont want to go... i cant leave yet i need to see Christian oh why is this happening? then it dawns on me... Christian is Elenas sub, ive seen the marks what shes done to him i cant leave him to get hurt by her hands... i wish i had control over this situation but i dont this is all way over my head i have no choice my mother has already made the decision to do what she wants and me and Christian must suffer the consequences.

I walk out of my bedroom and down the stairs, my legs dont want to move the same as my heart but i force them too as i exit the house i see my mother standing by the cab i take a deep breath and start to walk towards it, just then theres a roar from a car coming down the street and the screeching of breaks...

Christian...

C POV

5 MORE MINUETS...5 more minuets oh please god let her still be there..

"first right here mom" shes been driving like a crazy person but i no shes doing it for me so i dont mind as we reach Tabis road i see a cab and my heart plummets

"Mom! thats them" i say pointing to the cab and just like mom puts her foot down on the gas and the tyres screech on the road we accelerate down towards the cab and mom has to slam the breaks on im thrown forward into the car luckilly for me i had my seat belt on otherwise i would have gone through the windscreen but i cant dwell on that right now i need to talk to Tabi.

"TABI!" I screem as i see her going towards the cab, was she going to go before i could say goobye? was she just going to leave and forget about me? surley not... not after last night

"Christian..." Tabi runs towards me dropping her bag and i engluf her in a huge cuddle, i dont ever want to let her go i want to hold her in my arms forever. Everyone around us is staring my mother and Elena especially they have never seen me act like this before ive never held anyone for the fear of my chest but with the way im feeling at the moment i would take all the pain in the world if it ment i could just hold Tabi one last time.

"Tabi sweetie come on the cabs waiting" i glare at Elena, is she jelous? is that the reason why shes taking Tabi away from me?

"Christian...i...d..dd..dont want to leave you" Tabi sobs into my neck i hold her and shush her trying to bring her some comfort but it isnt working i feel like my world is falling apart and i dont no how to deal with this.

"I dont want you to leave me either baby... but... we dont have a choice" that is one of the hardest things ive ever had to say, Tabi lifts her head up to look me in the eyes and i see the my pain and desperation in my eyes reflected in hers... i need to stop this now i need to be strong.

I wipe Tabis eyes with my thumbs and kiss her... i kiss her with everything i have just as she is about to return the kiss shes pulled out of my grasp but Elena, i go to grab Tabi but my mother holds me back knowing i would never go through her all i can do is stand there as Elena loads Tabi into the cab and slams the door.

"CHRISTIAN...CHRISTIAN" Tabi screems for me but theres nothing i can do, i cant look at her its too hard i drop my head and turn away as the engine starts and the cab drives away, Tabis banging on the window desperatly trying to get me to look at her but i cant i just cant my heart cant take it i close my eyes and remember how we were last night... what am i doing? i need to see her as i open my eyes its too late the cabs already down the road and soon out of sight...

Ive lost her... shes gone...


	14. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 14

C pov

After that day i never saw Tabitha again we never had any contact after that the only the only way i knew if she was still alive or not was through Elena.

Whenever i would ask her about Tabi she would get mad, she always told me the same thing...

"Tabitha has her life now Christian she's moved on... it's about time you did the same."

So here i am i am Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc im a billionaire at the tender age of 25, i could have anything or anyone my heart (if i had one) desired but there's one thing i cant have and that's her... Tabitha Stone

On days as grey and as shitty as today i often find myself wondering about the 16-year-old girl captured and broke me in the matter of 24 hours, i wonder if she's ok, if she's happy, fulfilled... the list is endless. I sometimes wonder if she's thinking about me, whether she thought about me at all in the last 10 years of course she hasn't why would she? Elena told me she had moved on and that i should have done the same years ago but i just can't.

Tabitha Stone was my first and only vanilla ive never wanted to do it again with any other woman or one of my many subs... yes im still into BDSM after Tabi left Elena became like my life line she took me in hand and taught me and trained me and thanks to her i am the most sort after Dom in all of Seattle.

I'm brought out of my thoughts and memories by my Blackberry buzzing away in my trouser pocket, i heave a heavy sigh and pull it and check the ID Elena Lincon

"Grey" I snap it doesn't matter who's on the line they all get the same cold sharp greeting.

"Christian darling how are you?" im not in the mood for Elena and chit-chat i wish she would just get to the point.

"I'm fine Elena and yourself?"

"I'm good thank you for asking sweetheart, im calling to ask if your free this evening?"

"Yes Elena im free"

"Oh good shall i pick you up at say 8? we can go for dinner dress casual?"

"Yes 8 will be fine"

"Ok darling... see you..."

I hang up im not in the mood, im pissed off and frustrated a major deal ive been working on for months fell through some dickhead in research didn't do his job properly so he got his ass fired and to top it all i havent got a sub to work to work my anger out on Tessa James left two months ago well when i say left i got rid of her, she heard me having a nightmare one of my more frequent ones it's of that horrible day 10 years ago when Tabi was ripped out of my life, I woke up screaming for Tabi only to find Tessa in my door way

"Get out..." I said quietly i just wanted to be on my own i didn't want to deal with her shit

"Sir... i want to help assist you in your frustrations?"

I didn't want this but i could always imagine Tabi and that might make me feel better.

"On you knees..."

I swung my body round so i was sat on the side of the bed as Tessa opened her robe and dropped it the floor she walked over and knelt between my legs as she took my dick in her hand and started to rub me up and down the feeling was so good i fell back on to the bed.

Tessa took me in her mouth and began to suck me hard and fast, my mind reeled i thought of Tabi at the same moment i found myself moaning her name...

"Tabi... oh god Tabi... faster please"

Tessa released me and began to rub me again, my balls began to tighten and i knew i was close to coming and then Tessa gave me a reason to end our contract,

"Yes Christian... enjoy it... i can do this for you not Tabi...me no one else...JUST ME!"

Tessa slipped me back into her mouth and sucked me harder than before and i exploded shouting her name

"OH GOD... TABITHA..."

I stilled and exploded in her mouth she swallowed all of me but she didn't stop sucking me, once i had come back down to earth she was still on me trying to get me hard again giving me everything she had, don't get me wrong it felt fucking good but it wasnt right, i sat up and pulled Tessa off me as i realised what Tessa had said to me... FUCK... she thinks she can give me what i need more than what Tabi can? she's fucking kidding right? if that was the case id be screaming her name and not Tabis.

"Tessa... get your stuff and get out i know longer require you"

Tessa looks towards me with hurt and anger in her eyes... what does she expect me to do? shes broke so many rules tonight i can make a fucking list:

1. Coming into my bedroom when she knows she isn't allowed

from the bottom it should be me giving the orders not her

3. Calling me by my given name when she knows that is forbidden she is to address me as sir or Mr. Grey nothing else

4. Telling me she knows what i need and that she can do it for me... seriously is she fucking shitting me? she thinks she can satisfy me utterly and completely? shes a fucking joke

AND.. AND THE FUCKING BEST ONE...

5. She has the nerve to talk about Tabi.. my Tabi she doesn't deserve to have her beautiful name on her lips.

Tessa stands in front of me in complete and utter shock until she composes herself and then thinks she can use sex as a weapon... don't think so little girl i fucking invented that i know how to use sex as a weapon it's another thing i excel in, she slowly walks over to me and bends down to stroke my erection which is now semi hard it's not my fault sometimes he has a mind of his own and at the moment he's betraying me.

"If it makes you feel better sir, il pretend to be this Tabi..."

Thats it ive had enough she isn't Tabi know one will ever be Tabi, i push her off me and grab her by the hand i drag her out of my bedroom and proceed to drag her to the subs room, once were there i order her to pack her things and that i want her out within the hour or Taylor will remove her by force and with that i leave her to pack...

That was two months ago and its taking its toll on me, im snappy with everyone i cant help it.

I told Elena what happened and she told me i was being pathetic for still holding onto a crush for all these years, i know it's not just a crush though and i know it's not fucking love... i no im not capable of love but this thing i have for Tabi ive never ever in the last 10 years felt for anyone else only her i agree with Elena on one thing though it is pretty pathetic.

I decide that sitting here moping and day dreaming isn't going to run business so i push Tabi aside once again and concentrate on the here and now, i just wish i could see her again just once..

T POV

Christian Grey... Christian FUCKING Grey... hes everywhere i look, on tv, in magazines everywhere i cant seem to get away from him, scratch that i don't want to get away from him ive never wanted to be away from him these last 10 years have been cleansing ive found out who i am and what i am and i am now in a position of power and control.

Once me and my mom made it to Georgia i was hell i completely lost it, i hated my mother the one person who was there for me, she made me hate her by taking me away from Christian she made me cut all contact with him then only time i ever heard the slightest little bit of information about him was when i asked Elena and she used to say that he's happy and that he's moved on, i knew that she was still his Dom and he was still his sub it hurt cause i realised that he had moved on from me to her... i didn't blame her, i made her promise me that she would always watch out for Christian and look after him and as far as i no she always has done.

My mom couldn't cope with my behaviour so she would leave me alone a lot of the time during the weekend she was with Daniel her Dom he was a nice man i met him on more than one occasion and we became close not romantically as i could never feel close to anyone else i had reserved my heart for Christian to come back a claim as his own one day but that day never came.

When i was 18 my mother met a man named Pete and they ran away together claiming she found her "soul mate" what bullshit... whats the point of love when all that happens is you give your heart to someone for them to take it, tear it into little bits and then shit all over it and walk away? Love is for fools that's what Elena says.

Once i told Daniel that my mother had fucked off with a toy boy he helped me he kept me safe, he kept a roof over my head and trained me... yes i became Dans sub he taught me a hell of a lot by the age of 21 i was the most sort after sub in Georgia no one could hold a candle to me, i had no hard limits and soft limits didn't bother me i would do and enjoy anything. I've never safeworded on a Dom as i find that disrespectful at the end of the day if you've done something to warrant a harsh punishment then you don't back out half way through if you can't do the time don't do the crime.

I told Dan that i wanted to go traveling and he asked me if i wanted out of our agreement? we never had anything on paper but we understood each other and that's al that mattered, i said that i wouldn't mind but if leaving him would be a problem then id stay as long as he needed me and he told me that i was welcome to stay if i chose to but he would gladly see me on my way with some spending money for traveling of course, i didn't want his money but he ever so politely pointed out that i have no one there for me on the outside if you like and i was on my own, he said he couldn't and wouldn't see me struggle and if i didn't take the money i would offend him... me and Dan were so close and i would never do anything to upset him or offend him i respected him and everything he's done for me so much so i accepted his money and the next day i was back on a plain to seattle.

4 years passed and i am now the most sort after Dom in Georgia and Seattle, i have Doms linning up round the block to take me on, which is quite suprising to be honest, Elena always told me it was a Doms decision weather or not they took on a sub not the other way round but the feeling of power i get from it is amazing... these men want me... me Tabitha Stone- the daughter of an ex sub and a very fucked up Dom.

Tonight there is a new BDSM club opening in down town Seattle its very high market, basically its a BDSM club for posh snobs who don't want to be ratted out incase they lose their precious fortunes or high-profile statuses... tonight is what we class as "show and tell night" every time a new club opens all the available girls join and get dressed up and then they are introduced via there sub names and then they get an appointment with a Dom if he is interested.

As i am one of the show girls for tonight i have to look my best, i decide to go and get a full body make over and that's everything from manicures and pedicures to a full wax, it sounds painful but believe me its worth it.

Theres a salon i havent tried yet ive walked past it a few times but have never been in its called Esclava it looks very modern and posh as i walk in my greeted by a young woman named Greta, i explain to her what i want done she leads me through to the back for my process to begin.

After a few hours and a lot and i mean a lot of money im done, im smooth all over and i have a lovely glow to my skin just what i need for tonight im on the look out for a new Dom but so far ive never found one who can really push me to my limits... apart from Dan who wasnt really my Dom more like my teacher ive also subbed for Harry and Russel both lovely men but they didn't last long as they felt uncomfortable pushing me and i felt uncomfortable asking them as this isn't how a D/S relationship is ment to go they both only lasted a couple of months before i moved on, im on my way back to my apartment to get ready for tonight... i do hope i find the right Dom for me tonight.

C POV

Its 7pm and im still working at Grey House, i decide to call it a night as i need to get home shower and change to meet Elena at 8, i turn off my computer and grab my jacket and head for the door everyone's gone home and i no ive been a complete shit towards everyone, as i get in to the elevator i run my fingers through my hair and push the button for the ground floor i pull out my blackberry and call Taylor:

"Sir"

"Taylor bring the car around"

"Sir"

and i hang up no pleasentrys, no goodbye just click and done see simple.

On the ride home i let my mind drift to Tabi again... oh god i have to stop doing this she's gone she's not going to just pop back into my life things like that don't happen... not to me anyway. I make a mentle note that if i think of Tabitha again tonight i will take myself into my playroom and cane the shit out of myself as punishment.

We arrive home by 7.30pm i have just enough time for a shower and to chance before Elena gets here,

The elevator door opens and i waste no time walking towards my bedroom...

"Good evening Mr. Grey"

"Hello Gail"

"Would you like anything to eat or drink sir?"

"No thanks Gail, Mrs. Lincon will be here soon and then we are going out for dinner"

"Very good sir" Gail finishes just as i enter my bedroom, after a quick shower im dressed black jeans, white t-shirt, black shoes and my leather jacket.

Elena told me to dress casual so that's what im going for, my hair is still damp so i just let it do its thing.

Just before 8pm Taylor steps out of his office to inform me that Elena is on her way up, see that's what i like about Elena always on time.

"Mrs. Lincon" Taylor greets Elena at the door, she still looks good for a woman of her age shes dressed in a black figure hugging dress that shows off her curves and stops just above her knees, her long legs span down to a pair killer red fuck me heels her make up is on the heavy side and her platinum blonde hair is perfect on her head.

Elena approaches me and i get a heavy scent of her perfume Channel no.5,

"Christian darling how are you?" Elena holds my arms and kisses my cheeks i smile at her, even though i have no sexual feelings towards Elena what so ever she is still my closest friend and confidant.

"I'm good Elena... shall we?" and i offer her my arm which she lovingly takes ive told Taylor that i will not need him tonight so he can spend the evening with Gail.

We board the elevator and are taken down the garage quickly. we walk swiftly towards Elena's car and get in she starts the engine and we are off.

After about 15 minuets of driving i realise were heading to down town seattle, i wonder where we are going.

"So...where are we going?"

Elena's eyes never stray from the road ahead when she says

"Were going to rectify a situation you've found yourself in"

i stare at her puzzled what does she mean? what 'situation' is she going to rectify? im still wondering deep in thought when we pull up outside a building i take a moment to look over the place, it doesn't stand out it fades into the background im still wondering where's the hell she's brought me when a thought hits me like a ton of bricks.

"You brought me to a BDSM club?" i say through gritted teeth, Elena turns to me her face breaking into a huge smile.

"A FUCKING BDSM CLUB? SHIT ELENA!" I yell my anger is suddenly ripe and full, i cant believe she could be so stupid how the fuck does she expect me to go into a BDSM club without being recognised? SHIT im Christian fucking Grey...

"Calm down Christian, this is what im saying you need the relief its stressing you out...look this club is brand new its only opened tonight the second you walk through here everyone has to sign a contract stating that no information will leave the club- what is said and what happens here stays here other wise it causes a lot of trouble. Christian darling this club is extremely exclusive it doesn't matter to them who you are sweetie... now are you going to come inside with me or are you going to sit in the car and sulk all night?"

I sigh Elena has a point, my anger is getting the better off me and it would be nice to blow off some steam but really did she have to bring me to a club? I'm not her sub anymore i am my own Fucking Dom... im not happy about this at all but i give Elena a sharp nod as we both exit the car.

T POV

"Girls... you have an hour till show time, make sure your all ready" Madam Suki.

Shes not only my boss but shes a very dear friend too, since i returned to Seattle all those years ago Suki- real name Suzanne has been like a sister to me.

She found me working in a BDSM shop as a "show and tell artist" trying on outfits and explaining what different things were and how they were to be used for maximum results, she asked me if i was into the scene and i said yes we talked and the next day we met up for a drink at a local bar, i proceeded to tell her about my life minus one Christian Grey of course.

Christian was already a house hold name at this point in time so bringing up that we met at the tender age of 16 and that he was already subbing for a much other woman wasn't a very good idea, neither i did Suki that i had lost my virginity to Christian in his parents house, in his bed just hours after we first met... no il keep that information to myself.

After hearing everything Suki offered me a job working at one of her clubs, i accepted and i was introduced as a "start up sub" for first Doms and Doms in training but i quickly made my way up the ranks and soon became the sort after sub that every Dom wanted to have control over, i was very liberating.

We all have stage names mine is 'Domino' as in Domination, i told Suki and it stuck straight away as she said it suited me, some of the other girls wanted to call me something like 'Tootsy' uh no fuck that.

So now here i am one of the most highly expirenced subs in not only Georgia but Seattle too, i kind of like my title i am THE ONE... well that's what my previous Doms have said anyway.

"15 minuets girls..." God doesn't time fly when you have important things to do

"Domino! I'd like a word please if that's ok seeing as your already finished"

"Sure Suki, whats up?" We walk further down the hall for some quiet before we continue talking.

"I've just got wind that there is an extremely gorgeous and rich man out there and i want you to turn on the charm on him, entice him, make him yours Domi you can do this your the most talented sub ive ever laid eyes on no wonder your so popular .." Suki grins and hands me a written description of the sucker... i mean man. I smirk at her as i memorize it

" I think ive got this"

C POV

" Elena what are these?" I ask as we enter the club and she hands me a mask like ones we use for the maskeraide ball my mother throws every year.

" You wear a mask here so its harder to identify you, you also need to pick a stage name" Elena informs me like she does this every day, i stare at her as i put my mask on... 'stage name'?

" What the fuck is one of those?" this shit is just annoying

" Its a name you chose for yourself so its harder to finger out who you are, obviously if people call you Mr. Grey people are going to start putting to and to together and we dont want that darling now do we?" So... come on whats your name? Mines Diamond"

Hmmm... stage name? I have no fucking idea.

" Oh i dont no Elena, why dont you just chose one for me i really dont care?" Im starting to get pissed off with all this shit, God please let me find a little brunette submissive that i can take into one of the private rooms and unleash all this built up tention im dragging around with me cause honestly its killing me!

Elena and i take our seats, we are sat at a small table in the center of the large room.

Its beautifully decorated from the outside you never have guessed that this was a BDSM club but there's no mistaking the inside.

As i look around i around i realize all the slaves- waitresses and waiters in other words all have masks too it must be the theme of the place, actually i must admit ive always found masks kind of sexy...

The lights go down and the Hostess who introduces herself to the audience as Madam Suki stands at the mic and speaks

" Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the grand opening of Velvet Lace, i am the hostess Madam Suki, and i would like to introduce you to an amazing selection of subs we have for you tonight both male and female, so without further delay lets get the party started"

Madam Suki introduces the first sub as "Candy"

" Gentleman this beautiful young lady is "Candy" she is 22, she has been a sub for the past 5 years, she is 5'6, she is blonde, she has blue eyes, "Candy" is a very good sub and shes never had any complaints from any of her previous 10 Doms..."

I zone out "Candy" is not my type at all and im sorry but if shes had 10 Doms in 5 years she cant be that good, Madam Suki introduces 10 more subs and by this time its nearly 10 pm have i really been sat here for 2 hours? oh god it feels so much longer so far this evening has been a massive dissapointment for me.

Elena on the other hand has found 2 or 3 young male subs she wants to set up interviews for... another half an hour drags by and im more than ready to leave and call it a night we've eaten it wasn't anything special but it was edible and i was so hungry.

" Elena... ive had enough im heading home you stay if you like.." im cut off

" Oh no Christian, stay please just another half an hour and if your not happy then we will go then..." Im stood up at this point debating whether or not i could stomach another minuet in here let alone another half an hour when Madam Suki returns to the mic.

" Gentlemen... we have a real treat for you tonight, we have just recently got the lovely 'Domino' back on our books"

The crowed of men around me erupt into gasps and cheering... Domino?

" Elena? who is this Domino?" i ask confused ive never heard of any sub named Domino, seeing what the crowds reaction is to her maybe shes worth sticking around for.

The gentleman who is sat at the table in front of ours swivels round on his chair to gawp at me,

" You dont no who Domino is?" i shake my head and he continues

" Domino is not a sub she is THE sub, she is breathtakingly beautiful, has the body of a goddess and to top it all she has no limits... shes never safe worded... Domino is every Doms dream sub!"

WOW! No limits? Is it possible that there is a sub out there actually designed for me? ive never found a sub who was willing to accept what ever i dished out to them... im pulled from my thoughts when i hear Madam Suki speak...

" It is my pleasure to introduce you to the devilishly, delicious, DOMINO"

T POV

" DOMINO" That's my cue...

As i walk on to the stage im greeted with screams and wolf whistles... god it feels good to be back.

Suki winks at me as i approach her by the mic.

" Domino here is 25, shes been a sub for the past 7 years and she is highly experienced, shes what we call out " Hardcore" subs."

The Doms in the room go mad especially when they learn i have no hard limits that's what makes me ' The Best' i take whatever is dished out to me and i do love a good caning or a whipping, I soon spot the gentleman Suki gave me the description of, he's sitting in the middle of the room staring at me intently... he must like what he sees.

Suki finishes her piece about some entertainment placed on by the subs, the music starts and we all dace for our guests not only is it entertaining for them to watch us but we get to show off our moves.

C POV

" Domino... shes perfect! i feel my erection become painful against my jeans and try my best to move in the chair to a more comfortable position but it's quite difficult especially the was shes dancing... oh god i feel like i might explode right here right now just watching her.

The girls move down from the stage and arrange themselves so that they are all dancing in a line between the gaps where the tables are, Domino has moved so she is to the right of me and "Candy" is left of Elena, "Candy" keeps doing her best to get me to look at her pay attention to her but i cant im to focused on the beautiful creature that is Domino dancing and grinding in front of me... oh i wish she would stop that its taking every ounce of self-control i have not to grab her and bed her over this table and fuck her till i cant see straight.

I'm pulled out of my erotic fantasy when "Candy" runs her hand down my chest, i feel the burn and tense... fuck that hurts!

Elena jumps up and pulls "Candy" away from me, the burning is still present in my chest but it's not as bad as my breathing starts to return to normal, Elena hurls "Candy" to the floor and stand over her the next thing i know Domino has pushed my chair and is now in front of Elena they are noise to noise the atmosphere in the club becomes cold and deadly as the volume of people taking disappears, this girl is willing to take Elena on? She must be either very brave or very stupid.

"Whats your problem?" Domino speaks with authority in her voice she sounds more like a Dom than a sub.

"That stupid bitch touched him..." Elena says pointing to me "He gets uncomfortable with unfamiliar touching" Elena spits back.

"Sir..." Domino addresses me she looks me straight into my eyes and im paralyzed

"I'm very sorry if you felt uncomfortable by "Candy's" touching, that was never our intention i assure you, please accept my deepest apologies"

I lose the will to speak, i feel as if my tongues been cut out or ive suddenly become mute so much to my embarrassment all Domino gets in return is a simple nod.

But Elena can't leave things alone can she?

"Thats all he gets?... a FUCKING APOLOGY?"

"Mam, id like to remind you of the policy to signed when entering the club, we will not tolerate abusive behaviour and language towards staff and other guests" Domino says in a low voice on the outside she looks calm but her eyes are blazing with anger.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me how to behave? your just a sub... id like to speak to the organ grinder darling not the fucking monkey" Geeze Elena's mad... shit this isn't good.

"Mam these are my girls, Suki may run the house but i look after the well-being of the subs...now either shut up and sit down or fucking leave!" Domino says through gritted teeth.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH" Elena screams and lunges towards Domino

It all happens so fast in the blink of an eye they go from standing noise to noise in front of me next they're on the floor at my feet kicking and punching, Elena is on top of Domino hitting her and screaming

"IL TEACH YOU FUCKING MANNERS YOU LITTLE SLUT"

DOMINO rears both her legs up to deliver Elena a swift kick to the chest, Elena flys off her and they both quickly get to their feet ready for round two just as security bolt into the room, i look towards Elena who is breathing heavily holding Dominos mask in her bloody hand, its only then i realise its not Elenas blood on her hands it Dominos.

Two security guards take Elena and me aside and away from Domino, Elenas face is a mess she has a split lip and bruising to her eye that is already starting to show, Elena reaches up to her lip and her fingers are covered in blood

" Have you seen what that little bitch has done to my face? Mark my words Domino il make it that you pay for this.. you'll never sub again once im done with you" Elena spits blood as she yells at Domino.

"Il look forward to it miss..." Shit this girls brave... i look towards Domino as the security try their best to control Elena, she has her back to me... oh what id give to see her face.

T POV

I have my back to the woman who scratched my face, Suki came to me as security came in and she gasped at the apparent state of me,

" Domino sweetie your bleeding" she says with wide eyes and passed me her handkerchief to try to stem the blood flow, oh god why did this have to happen? all i did was stick up for Candy and look where its got me... uhhhh

"Il look forward to it miss..." i smirk even though she can't see my face who the fuck does she think she is?

Just then the security guard speaks to the blonde...

"Whats your name madam?" He addresses her... the loud mouth trollop that attacked me, shit i apologized to the gentleman she's with and he accepted it for fucks sake, she must be his Dom... or his lover which ever one she is shes obviously very serious about him for going completely psycho on me.

"My name is Mrs. Lincon..."

I swear my heart just stopped... Mrs. Lincon? Mrs. Elena Lincon? FUCK!

"Elena?" i say as the with wide eyes, oh sweet Jesus i just punched Elena Lincon in the face... oh well she deserved it she came at me first.

Elena looks around the security guard, her eyes angry and full of hate but when she locks eyes with me all that dissapers and she wears a face of pure shock i know how she feels.

"Tabitha?... Tabitha Stone... is that you?" we just stare at each other, this is so fucked up both of us look like we've just seen a ghost, as Elena says my name the gentleman who had his back to me tenses visibly and slowly turns till i can see his face clearly, he's no longer wearing his mask and suddenly im met with the most beautiful eyes. I haven't seen those eyes properly in 10 years.

"Tabi?"

"Christian"


	15. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 15

C POV

"Tabitha?...Tabitha Stone...is that you?" Elena says shocked

It takes me a minute for my brain to kick into the conversation as i hadn't been paying attention, i had to talk to the security guard who wanted my statement on what happened, i tense when i hear what Elena just said.

Tabi? MY Tabi? could she really be here? I turn around slowly as i don't trust my legs not to give way and leave me a crumpled mess on the floor, its true... the girl that's haunted my thoughts and my nightmares for the past 10 years is stood a few foot away from me...

Our eyes lock and that same charge shoots through me like it first did all those years ago when we were 16, as we stare at each other i take my chance to look her over.

Shes wearing the same outfit as all the other girls here, perhaps she's a waitress... what if she's been serving me all night i never knew... oh god!

She wears a black leather corset with red lace across her delectable breasts, very short black shorts that show her beautiful ass off to perfection black sheer stockings that emphasize her amazing long sexy legs and what looks like 6 inch red fuck me heels... her long brunette hair is pulled to the side and braided over her left shoulder, but it's not till i study her face that i realize who she's been playing.

She is more stunning than i remember, her eyes are still clear, Crystal blue like the ocean, her cheeks are a flushed light pink against her gentle clean skin and her full red juicy kissable lips look delicious, but then i see the still bleeding sore angry-looking scratches on her cheek and then it hits me like a ton of bricks... Tabi is Domino... HOLY SHIT!

"Tabi?" i say confused... what the fuck is she still doing getting involved in this shit?

"Christian" Tabi returns coldly, her beautiful eyes are cold and she shows no emotion... why is she being like this towards me? what the fuck have done? Then i see her gaze flick between me and Elena and her eyes widen her cold expression slips and she looks hurt... NO NO NO! she thinks me and Elena are together? SHIT!

Elena watches the silent conversation unfold between me and Tabi and i watch out of the corner of my eye as Elena smirks and nods towards to Tabi trying to conform her suspicions... what the fuck Elena?

Tabi glares at me and then turns round and walks towards the security and something to them in a low voice so i cant hear her, both men just nod and then Tabi walks away and out of my line of sight, the next thing i know is me and Elena are escorted through a fire door and informed that we are both no longer welcome at the club.

The rest of the night is hazy... very hazy, i remember driving us home as i hadn't drank at the club...tending to Elena face...and drinking fuck did we drink, now im lead in bed drifting in between asleep and awake, a soft moan close to me wakes me fully as i jump up and look around. Where am i? what time is it? oh god my head i look around the room and realize im naked and im in... the playroom... i suddenly take in the woman lying uncovered and naked next me...its Elena... FUCK!

T POV

I wake in the morning with a pounding head and a sore cheek, i glance at my clock and it reads 10.02 am... oh god its too early.

I drag my ass out of bed and head to my bathroom for a welcome shower, i take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror and im confronted with evidence that i must have been involved in a fight last night, my face has large scratches running from my eye to near the bottom of my cheek dried blood is still very must present but apart from that i look ok, i wonder if i look alot better than the other person? my knuckles hurt the most they are sore and bruised but luckily there's no broken skin.

As i step in to the hot shower my aching muscles relax and i try to remember what happened last night...

WORK,

STAGE,

CANDY ON HER ASS,

ELENA LINCON...

Elena Lincon...shit! Yes i remember now, that bitch did this, she came at me so i hit her... more than once if i remember... now what else?

SECURITY,

CHRISTIAN GREY...

Oh yes... Christian FUCKING Grey the bastard i have not seen or heard of for 10 years is suddenly back in my life... not for much fucking longer, he should be lucky i didn't press charges on his fucking Dom/girlfriend/lover... what ever she is to him when security asked me to last night.

I wasn't in the mood for anymore shit and i defiantly didn't wast to start talking to Christian, he didn't even try to contact me once when i told Elena i had moved back to Seattle when i was 21, she said she would give him my number and address to him and she told me he would contact me if he wanted to see me again obviously he didn't so obviously he didn't want to see me so i decided last night that i didn't want or need him.

I walked over to the two security guards and spoke in quiet tones,

"I don't want to proceed with this, please just get them both out of here and tell them they are no longer welcome back here" my voice was low but serious i didn't want to be anywhere near them i just wanted to go home and sleep suddenly i had become so tired, it was years since id been in a fight and it was exhausting.

"Yes mam" they both nod

And with that i walk back to the changing rooms to grab my stuff, i don't bother changing whats the point? I take a white envelope out of my bag and place my letter of resignation on Sukis desk in her office and im gone, i am no longer a sub ive given that life up because of one person... Christian Grey, if he and that bitch Elena Lincon are still involved in the scene i want no fucking part of it i can't stand the thought of running in to them every now and then... it causes to much damage to both them and me.

Once im out of my shower and dressed in jeans and shirt and ankle boots im ready to face the world, i cleaned my face and smothered the scratches in moisturizer to be honest it doesn't look that bad now ive got some foundation and concealer on hopefully come tonight they wont be as noticeable.


	16. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 16

C POV

FUCK!

"What happened last night once we started drinking Elena? i cant remember" Elena is sitting next to me in the kitchen nursing a cup of very strong coffee the same as me.

"Well Christian, we woke up in your playroom in bed naked... soft of explains itself doesn't it" she says with a smirk

I don't no how to feel about this, all i thinking about is the look on Tabi's face last night when she thought i was still involved with Elena, i don't want her like that i haven't wanted for years so why now? why get drunk and take her into my playroom? Oh God is wrong!

I've been thinking about Tabi everyday for the past 10 years, i had resigned myself that i would never set eyes on her again but i made a promise to myself that if i ever did i would never let her walk out of my life again.

Last night i set my eyes on her and i broke my promise, i fucked up and she walked she was so cold to me, and then i completely fucked everything up by bringing Elena home and taking her into my playroom...

Just then my Blackberry rings, i fish it out of my pocket and glance at the caller ID Elliot... i get off my stool and walk quickly into my office closing and locking the door behind me i don't need Elena listening to family conversations and i don't need Elliott hearing Elena's voice... Oh God! what does he want?

"Grey"

"Hey lil bro"

"Elliot, to what do i owe this pleasure?" i say sarcastically

"Hey don't be like that bro, i just wanted to let you no that you, me and Mia are going out tonight, we are going Jumpin Jacks, Mia wants to go she says something about live bands playing."

"Elliot i wont be going anywhere im too busy"

"Okay fine but you tell Mia that her night out is off then cause you wont go" Elliot sounds pissed with me

"Just cause im not going doesn't mean you and Mia cant still go" oh god he sounds like such a child sometimes

"Oh yes it does" he sounds like hers sulking i role my eyes

"Why?" i sigh

"Cause Mia has already said that she wont go if your not going" Mia can be just as childish as Eliott i groan out loud the frustration radiating from me... shit, shit shit!

"Oh fuck it it looks like Mia gets her not out after all" i sigh i hate that Mia can wrap me round her little finger, i give into her so easily cause shes my baby sister and i love her i hate to see her upset or unhappy

"Yes bro it does" Elliott laughs

"But i promise you you wont regret it..."

"Yeah, yeah we'll see won't we"

"Okay bro stop by mom and dads at 7.30 pm then we can get to the club for 8 pm" Elliott says and i hear so much excitement in his voice

"7.30 pm... ok fine" i sigh

"Laters lil bro"

Click and hes gone

**A/N:**

**Sorry for such a short chapter guys but i promise you i have plenty more coming i have pages written down and i only manage to get on the computer at night time so thats the only time i get to update but i promise i have loads more coming soon i will have a much longer chapter for you all tomorrow...**

**lots of love Samii x :)**


	17. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 17

T pov

I'm on my way to see Suki, she found my letter of resignation sitting on her desk from last night, she wanted to know if id banged my head during last nights scuffle cause i was acting 'bat shit crazy" Sukis words not mine.

I arrived at the club and Suki practically grabbed me in through the back door and pushed me in to her office.

"Sit!" she ordered pointing to the worn out leather chair in front of her desk, reluctantly i did as i was asked and waited for to unleash her fury i didn't have to wait long for Suki to start

"what the fuck are you playing at?" shaking the white envelope in anger i took a deep breath and spoke slowly

"Suki..." i tried to sooth her but her eyes were blazing SHIT! i knew she wouldn't be happy when i finally did this but i didn't expect this.

"Sit down please and listen to me, ive been thinking about this for a while now..." im cut off

"Is this about that couple last night? that bitch who attacked you for sticking up for 'Candy'?"

Well Elena is one of the reasons Christian another but im not going to tell Suki that... so i do what im good at i lie.

"No Suki last night just sealed it for me...look... you no i love singing right?"

Suki looks confused but stays quiet and nods, i take a deep breath and continue

"Well..." i clear my throat " I've been offered a recording contract" i whisper.

Suki squeals at me and grabs me in to a huge hug

"OH MY GOD ROXI THATS FANTASTIC OH IM SO..."

Suki pulls back to look at me i don't share the same excitement

"Ooookkkaaayyy! you don't look too happy about this sweetie" Suki says in concern, we've always been like family so this is heart breaking for me to tell her i sigh

"I don't no if im going to accept yet, if i do il be moving asap to New York as that's where the studios based they want me to start right away" i say with tears in my eyes

"I just wanted to let you know just in case i did decide to go i leave there and then no time for goodbyes"

Sukis eyes widened when im mentioned New York, i knew she wasn't happy but she didn't push any further.

"Roxi sweetie, this is your dream it's all you've ever wanted, why wouldn't you want to grab it with both hands?" i look down again i really don't want to talk about this not just with Suki but with anybody.

"Is this over a man?" Suki says as she narrows her eyes at me

"No! Of course not" i lie

"What do you take me for?" Suki shoots me one of her famous 'oh pleeaase' looks and rolls her eyes

"Roxi if you have eyes on a man..." i hold my hand up to stop her,

"Suki... there is not nor will there ever will be a man i have my eye on..." i start thinking about Christian, MY Chri... well ok he's not mine, he's never been mine but that never stopped me wanting him... needing him.

God i have to stop this he's with Elena and as much as i dislike that woman at the moment for having his heart he's made is choice and i respect that.

Suki and i carried on talking, laughing and crying for a long while by the time i looked at my phone it was 5pm SHIT! I have to be at work for 7pm i quickly say goodbye to Suki and make my way home.

I shower and dress for work, i decide on my purple short sleeve button up shirt it's very figure hugging and shows off a little stomach i love it team that with my black low-cut skinny black jeans, and my favorite black heeled cowboy boots, i rim my eyes with black eyeliner and mascarra, i smooth foundation on my face and im good to go, the scratches are very faint now which im happy about im so glad they didn't scare i would have been pissed.

Once ive ran my straightened my long brown hair im done, i gotta admit i feel as sexy as i look, i grab a quick snack from the kitchen and head out, my shift is from 7pm till 3 am im a barmaid at a popular club called Jumpin' Jacks, it gets very busy but its a great job and i love it, i get on well with everyone who works there and you could call it my 2 nd home... next to the club of course.

I walk to the club as its only 2 blocks away from my apartment which is good for me when im running late, i reach JJ's as its nick named and head the deposit my crap in the back and go find my boss.

Steven Johnson has been my boss since JJ's first opened 3 years ago, Steve is a lovely man and a kind boss, he's in his early 40s, dark receding hair, brown eyes and has the sharpest wit ive even known, he's about 5-10, big built, he looks like he should be a bouncer but he's so warm and friendly he make you want to hug him but he says he enjoys his macho image too much.

"Hi Steve, do you think we will be busy tonight?" I ask as i great him in the bar,

"Of course well be busy" he snorts and rolls his eyes "Its Friday night Rox... duh!" he speaks to me if im thick but i cant help smiling.

When JJs opened 3 years ago i came for a job interview, i had no job and no Dom at the time so i was getting a little desperate, when the application form said Name: i instantly wrote Roxi Stone... that's what i went by as i could bare to be called Tabitha or Tabi any more, if someone tried calling me by those names i would get very upset and angry i just decided that using Roxi was easier and less painful, Christian was the only person who called me Tabitha mainly everyone i came into contact with called me Roxi or Rox thanks to Louise... ahhh Louise i wonder how she is? I haven't seen her in so long i saw her when i moved back to Seattle she was pregnant and she was getting married i was so happy for her.

I'm pulled out of my dream of old friends and broken hearts by a not so gentlemanly young lad.

"Well hello there sexy... take your sweet lil ass over there and fetch me a beer will ya?" he grins at me i just smile sweetly well as sweetly as i can manage... oh this is going to be a long night.


	18. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 18

C POV

"Elliot?...Mia?...are you guys ready yet?" i yell up the stairs in my mother's house, ive been sitting here for the last hour waiting for my sex crazed brother and my fashion conscious sister to each finish getting ready.

"Yeah bro give me a sec..." Elliot yells back God he said that 10 minuets ago, they wanted to be at this club for 8pm it's now 8.40 pm and im still waiting, i really don't want to go but it's not like i can back out now.

"Ready?" Elliot says as he and Mia enter the room

"About bloody time" i mutter under my breath, ive never known 2 people who take so long to get ready i was showered and dressed within 20 minuets.

I decided to go for smart yet casual im dressed in black jeans, a dark blue shirt the top 3 buttons undone, black converse trainers and my black tailored jacket, my damp hair is left to do its own thing and im done.

We leave and get into waiting black SUV Taylor is driving

"Jumpin Jacks please Taylor"

"Yes Sir" as professional as ever.

Mia and Elliot are almost bouncing with excitement next to me, God they need to learn to act their ages

"Cmon Christian lighten up"

"Fuck off Elliot...im fine!" i glare back while he sits there and smirks

"You look too stressed, don't worry il find you a nice girl... or guy if you'd prefer to talk home tonight" he winks at me.

I sigh and pull out my blackberry, yes my brother thinks im gay im pretty sure my whole family think i am they've never seen me with a girl what they don't know is ive been with plenty of girls all subs of course Tabi is the exception but what they don't know wont hurt them.

I've been working from home today i couldn't face going to the office, it took some while to get ride of Elena i told her last night was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened, she got angry and said that i would always need her and no one could give me what she could.

I felt my anger raise as she started talking about Tabi, she couldn't believe Tabi was Domino, Elena said that Tabi didn't have what it took to be a sub, if she was a sub she must be a pathetic one.

Elena said that even Tabi with all her 'experience' if she had any couldn't satisfy my dark needs and that after what happened last night she would follow through on her threat to Tabi.

Elena told me i would never see Tabi again cause she would destroy Tabi and run her out of Seattle, At this point i couldn't control my burning anger anymore i tried oh god did i try but Elena's pushed me, i stood up knocking my stool over i grabbed Elena's arm and dragged her with me towards the elevator as soon as the doors opened i threw her in and stood facing her tension radiating off me she pleaded with me not to do this but i ignored her, as the doors closed i let out a breath i didn't realize i was holding and then im alone again.

We pull up to the club and there's a huge line to get in but i'm Christian Grey and i don't wait in fucking lines i smirk at all the upset faces and the angry moaning as me, Elliot and Mia enter the club,

"Il go to the bar, you find a table what ya want to drink?" Elliot says as Mia runs off to find a table, i did offer the VIP space upstairs but Mia moaned and said she wanted to watch the bands playing and i caved.

"Il have a beer, Mia says she wants a white wine but get a pint of iced water as well i don't want her drunk tonight" i say to my brother as her rolls his eyes, he knows that it pisses me off and yet he still does it.

"Yes mom" he smirks and walks off towards the bar.

Elliot POV

Christian really needs to lighten up i mean seriously we're here to enjoy ourselves and blow off some steam but for the last hour all he's done is sit in the booth and work on his fucking Blackberry God can't he leave work for one night?

While he and Mia found a booth i went to the bar for the drinks me and Christian had beers and Mia wanted wine, i almost forgot the pint of iced water Christian demanded i get for Mia aswell as her wine as Christian doesn't want Mia getting drunk... fucking control freak.

"Yes shug what can i get ya?" The stunning brunette working behind the bar asked her name tag read "Roxi", WOW pretty name for a pretty girl...Yes ok im corny but its the way im made and ive never had any complaints ( wink wink).

"Can i have 2 beers, a white wine and a pint of iced water please" my God she is very beautiful, i found myself staring at the slightly red scratches on her face and wondered how she got them but i wasn't going to as.

Once "Roxi" gave me the drinks on a tray i maneuvered my way back to the booth to find my work a holic brother with his head in his fucking cell, i gave him his beer and he took a long drink and then i had an idea one that would earn me a bollacking from my pain in the ass lil brother, just as Christian settled his beer back on the table i had my chance i quickly swiped his blackberry from his hand before he had a chance to react and slid it into the pocket of my pulling jeans... there just normal black jeans but i always seem to get lucky when im wearing them im dressed basically the same as Christian except he has a shirt on and i have a tight white tee-shirt and my black jacket on.

"Elliot what the fuck are you playing at? Give me my fucking cell back now!" Christian demanded oh i know this Christian he's trying to intimidate me so i give it him back- good try bro but it aint gonna happen.

"Christian, we came out tonight to enjoy ourselves and you've been stuck in your work all night give it rest for once please? There are loads of beautiful woman here and most of them have been practically eye fucking you but you've been too busy to notice" i say with a smirk but Christian just sighs deeply.

"Elliot im to fucking busy for this shit, i only came out tonight cause Mia said she wouldn't come without me"

"My mission tonight lil bro is to find you a stunning girl" Christian rolls his eyes

Just then "Roxi" floats into my mind, she really is stunning... hmmmm maybe even too stunning for Christian to ignore.

"Hey... speaking of beautiful girls, the one who served me was an absolute stunner, apart from the fading scratches on her cheek of course but they will heal but apart from that she was gorgeous i mean a true beauty"

Suddenly Christian was all ears...

"Did you manage to catch her name?"

"Maybe" hey this is fun maybe i should wind him up a little before i tell him her name? or maybe not from the look Christian is giving me... if looks could kill id be dead and Christian would be banged up for murder.

Christian runs his hands through his hair ooh he's really pissed at me,

"FUCK Elliot do you no her fucking name or not?" i nod Christian really is fuming

"WELL!" He demands

"Roxi...her name tag said Roxi" Christians eyes go wide and i wonder if he knows her but i have no time to ask as he downs his beer and gets up and says

"Wanna another? im paying" he says with a smirk all i can do is nod and then he goes off towards the bar... oh God what have i done? Run Roxi run.


	19. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 19

C POV

"ROXI... HER NAMES ROXI"

Roxi?...Roxi? where have i heard that name before?...

Louise Thorn! Of course she used to call Tabi that i remember her telling me why a couple of weeks after Tabi left.

Did Elliot say she on her cheek? SHIT! Is Roxi Tabi? God how many fake names does one girl need?

I have to know if she works here, i down my beer and ask Elliot if he wants another and of course im buying at that he smirks and holds up him beer bottle and then i head to bar.

As i get closer a young woman with very obvious bleach blonde dyed hair asks me what id like to drink whilst fluttering her huge stick on eyelashes at me... my God woman have some respect for yourself it's just another pretty face,

"Beer" is my only response as she huffs off to get it then i wonder if she could help me so i ask

"Excuse me do you know where Roxi is please?" i flash her one of my award-winning smiles that seems to get all the woman around me swooning

"Yes...She's on her break sweetie, are you a friend?" she says breathlessly and i smirk at her, am i a friend of Roxi's? i mean Tabi's God now im getting confused... um... i don't really know id like to be classed as her friend but i don't no where we are after sleeping together at 16, not having any contact for 10 years and then suddenly bumping into each other at a BDSM club and her nearly knocking my ex Dom out... hmmmm maybe il just go with friends for now

"Yes an old one" well im not lying there "What time will she be back?"

"She'll be back in about 10 minuets she's next up" the flirtatious barmaid says with a wink and serves someone else... she'll be up next? what the hell does that mean? at least I've only got to wait 10 minuets to see if it is Tabi and what if it is?... i have no idea what the fuck im going to do!

T POV

"Lucy... im going for my break now il be back in 10" Lucy looked towards me and smiled, we were very close we got on well, Lucy was older than me, in her mid 30s, short bright red hair, she dressed in a white vest, combats and was very openly lesbian but she was an amazing laugh and a brilliant workmate.

The night air was cool and i felt a shiver travel down my spin like i was being watched, i lit a cigaret up and enjoyed my 10 minutes to of peace and quiet to myself, i loved working here but i always went home with a massive headache from the pounding music.

I have 5 minuets left of my break so i run to the bathroom to check myself over, my cheek is healing quite quickly which im happy about id hate to run into Elena or Christian for that matter and see them enjoy the damage to my face... thinking of the bitch i wonder how Christian is? I was in complete shock to see him last night he still looks like the Christian i knew when we were 16 only now he's 25, taller, even more handsome and oh year he's a freaking millionaire... billionaire... what ever he is.

"Roxi...Roxi cmon your on" Lucy pokes her head around the door of the ladies loos... SHIT! did she just say im on? Oh god deep breath Rox... you can do this... i hope.

As i walk onto the stage with the band all my regulars cheer and i just smile and suppress a giggle, i cant believe so many people enjoy hearing me sing other people's songs but they do so who am i to argue?

We start with J Lo's On The Floor, a good floor filler, half way through the song i notice a very beautiful girl wearing a gorgeous skin-tight pink dress, killer heels and bright red lipstick, she's causing herself a lot of lusty looks from the men around her, shes really going for it busting her moves.

She really is stunning her black bob frames her beautiful face impeccably and her make up just brings out her looks perfectly.

As the first song finishes and we kick in to my BDSM namesake Jessie J's Domino, the girl so still dancing looking towards the stage singing, i find myself focusing on her as if she's singing with me, i feel like ive met her before but i cant phantom where or where but i swear i have.

Shes dancing with her friends when they move closer to the stage as the song finishes i crouch down mic in hand and as her what her name is

"Mia" the girl replys excitedly

"Hi Mia its nice to meet you may names Roxi" we shake hands

"Could you sing 'About you now' by Sugar babes?" a snooty girl yells at me over Mia and i feel my smile fall...

"Ummm... yeah ok, but give me 2 minuets to get the music" the girls look happy and i walk behind the stage...

SHIT!

Mia POV

"Can you sing 'About you now' by Sugar Babes?" Lilly shouts at Roxi over me and her face falls this song must mean something to her or she just doesn't like it... either was she's not happy about being asked to sing it but she agrees and goes back stage to get the music, that gives me an idea.

I have enough time to run back to the booth to go get my boring big brothers, i find Christian sitting sulking and Elliot next to him with his tongue down some girls throat 'typical' i roll my eyes, Christian looks towards me and smiles.

"You ok Mia?" he asks with a grin

"Christian can you come listen to this AMAZING singer with me pleeeeaaaasssseee?" i beg and give him the puppy dog look that always wins, i love my big brother i can wrap him round my little finger and he knows it, of course i love Elliot too but its easier to do with Christian, rolling his eyes he sighs

"Ok Mia lead the way" and we head back to where the music is starting, but i cant get back to Lilly and the girls but im silently glad Roxi looks so sad as she sings, she looks like she's in emotion pain with every word that comes out, as i thought the song must be important to her cause just as she sings:

"Not a day pass me by, not a day pass me by, where i don't think about you ooooo"

"And there's no moving on, cause i no you're the one and i cant be without you oooo"

Roxis hand goes to her heart as she sings the words. WOW IS SHE THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE?

As the song finishes Roxi swaps places with another singer and she makes her way off the stage, i look round for Christian but he's nowhere to be seen, he was here a second ago.


	20. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 20

**T POV**

****The switching of the singers gives me about a 30 minuet window, i cant believe how popular i am i love this feeling.

As im on my way towards the bar for a soft drink when i feel someone grab my arm, they have a strong grip, im dragged into one of the private rooms we have downstairs, the door is kicked but i don't hear the heavy click to notify that its closed.

I turn to see the person whose dragged me here...

"Daniel?" I come face to face with the man who trained me, took care of me and supported me in whatever i wanted to do... what was he doing here?

Just then im pulled into a huge fierce hug and im completely thrown Daniel was never soft, he never did cuddles and soft taking no way that wasn't his style, as i return a friendly hug i realize he's not himself he's very disheveled, and i do believe he's been drinking heavily...

"Roxi... oh its good to see you, ive missed you" Dan says as he holds me tighter i don't understand whats going on as i try to break the hold he has on me i realize he isn't going to let me go.

"Roxi i want you... i _need_ you... you have to come back to me" Dan says as his hands start to roam

Come back to him? what the fuck?

"Know one else will do Rox... ive tried, i want you, only you" His hands move to my waist and then they slide over my ass as he cups it, i try desperately to push him back to gain some distance between us but Dan forcibly walks me back to the wall, my back is pressed against bare brick it hurts, it cuts in and i feel every dent and point of the bricks pushing through the thin material or my top, i try my best not to panick but my body starts to betray me and so does my voice

"Dan... what are you doing?" i really try to make my voice strong and cold but it comes out shaky and scared, Dan smiles at me as he keeps one hand on my ass and the other roams freely along my body up my stomach and across my breasts, my breathing becomes harsh and i start panting but not out of being seduced but from...fear

"You know what im doing, don't tell me you don't like it, don't tell me you don't want this just as much as i do" He smirks

"Dan..." i stammer _SHIT be strong! Be strong! _"Dan please i don't... i don't want this" Oh great now im begging, and that just spurs him on more

"I don't give a fucking shit what you want, after everything ive done for you... you're going to give me what i want... you _owe_ me that much"Dan smirks as he tries to kiss me but i turn my head away just in time, Dan grabs me by my hair and pulls it back so im forced to look at him

"DON'T" He snarls, i have one chance to get out of this so i use it i kick and punch Dan with everything i have he releases me and i bolt to the door but just a few feet away and im grabbed by my hair again, it feels like its being ripped out as im dragged back to the wall, Dan forces my face towards the brick as he stands behind me, i bite my lip i will myself not to cry, crying is weak and i am not fucking weak

"I do love it when you fight me but right now you're not going to so be a good girl and let me have what i came for and then it will all be over" He whispers in my ear as his hands slide to the zipper of my jeans , _SHIT_! he's really going to do this... and there's nothing i can do to stop him, he has both my wrists pinned above my head, my face i scratching on the brick and he's pushed my legs further apart then only thing basically keeping my knees from buckling is his weight holding me up, my zipper comes down and his hand glides over my panties as he hisses

"Oh im going to enjoy this Roxi... are you?" He whispers darkly as his fingers graze me i cant help it the dam bursts and i start sobbing

"ANSWER ME ROXI!" Are you enjoying this?" Dan yells and laughs

"NO!" I scream

C POV

I follow Tabi and the man she's with to a private room the door is slightly ajar and a look through the gap to see him pull Tabi into a hug i cant hear what he's saying but his hands move to her ass, this must be Tabis boyfriend, her boyfriend... i feel a pain in my chest as i walk away, i spot Mia dancing with Lilly as i walk back to the booth

"Hey where did you go? i was looking for you i wanted to introduce you to someone..." i walk past her towards to booth where Elliot is alone

"Hey bro find any action?"he smirks at me

"Fuck off Elliot im leaving..." I say as i down my warm beer and get up Mia is running back to us pushing through people to get to us

"Mia?" i say worried

"Christian...Elliot help...its Roxi" Mia says out of breath

Both me and Elliot jump and follow Mia through the club as we get close to the door i get in front of Mia  
"NO!" i hear Tabi scream as i burst through the door, the sight before me makes my blood run cold.

There pushed up against the wall is Tabi, the fucker who dragged her away has her pinned while his slimy hands roam in her panties as i hear Tabi beg him to stop i snap i run into the room and pull the fucker away from her and she slides down the wall sobbing.

Elliot comes to my aid as both lay into him, how dare he lay a finger on her, i don't care who he thinks he is, she said no.

Elliot hauls him to his feet and holds him while i unleash hell into his stomach and chest, once ive stopped i realise i want answers and this piece of shit is going to give me them!

"Get the fuck off me!" He shouts to Elliot, but my brother saw the same as me and he knows whats going to happen so his grip gets tighter as he struggles.

"This has nothing to do with you!... now fuck off and let me finish what i started" He smirks, he thinks im just going to let him go so he can force himself on Tabi again? No fucking chance.

"You low life piece of shit, what the fuck do you think you are?" I say in my Dom tone, this is sure to get him shitting himself it does to most people but he doesn't flinch...

"I fucking own her pretty boy, i made her...you wanna piece of her? she goes for top dollar"

This fucker is unbelievable... what does he mean he made her?

"She's not a piece of FUCKING meat you miserable bastard!" I scream in his face ive really had enough of this prick

" HA HA HA Im her first Dom!" He says proudly... _SHIT! _"I taught her_ everything _she knows... she wouldn't be where and who she is now if it wasn't for me... she's mine!"

I get closer to him, we're nose to nose, ive had enough of his fucker, i don't give a shit if he is Tabi's first Dom that gives him no right what so fucking ever to force himself on her

"That's where your wrong you fucker! I WAS HER FIRST... SHE GAVE HER VIRGINITY TO ME... SHE. IS. MINE!" I say through gritted teeth as his eyes widen his eyes quickly dart to Tabi, the beautiful broken girl sat sobbing in my sisters arms with scratches down her cheek from the bricks, Tabi doesn't look at him she just burys her head deeper in Mia's neck as she sobs quietly

"You? and HIM!" He yells the him...

Tabi doesn't answer or look at him, she looks petrified i want to hold her take her away from this pain she's feeling then i hear him yelling

"ANSWER ME ROXI... GOD DAMMIT YOU STUPID LITTLE SLUT!" He doesn't get to speak to her, he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as her let alone be in the same room...

"Whats going on in here?" I hear a voice i turn to see a man standing in the doorway, he must be a bouncer... _bit fucking late dip shit! _The man whose name tag says "Bobby" walks towards me as he takes everything in, he has the same look and build as Taylor... ahhhh Taylor what possessed me to give you the night off?

"This fucker tried to rape Roxi!" i say turning back to the prick who's still being held by Elliot.

Bobby's eyes widen as he focuses on Tabi, her hair is a mess, her face is grazed and scratched, her masscarra is running down her cheeks in lines from her crying on Mia's shoulder but she is still the most beautiful woman i have ever set eyes on.

"Roxi? sweetheart is this true?" Bobby says to her... sweetheart? they must be close, I see Tabi nod as she's still silently crying, i really want to stop her hurting, to make her stop crying its physical hurting to watch her like this.

"OUT! All of you..." Bobby says as he stands in front of me glaring at the dickhead who assaulted Tabi and reduced her to tears "Il deal with him" Bobby's tone is menacing.

Elliot releases the prick who now has Bobby to deal with, Elliot gives me a look, i frown i look to Mia who is standing on her own... where's?... where is she?

"Mia? Where is she?... where's Rox?" i ask her but i already know the answer, Mia looks down guilty i walk over to her and lift her chin with my finger so she has to look at me...

"She... she ran out crying, i don't no where she is"

SHIT!


	21. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 21

**T POV**

Once i'm outside i do my best to regain my composia but it's not working what the hell just happened? Why was Dan here? Why was Christian and Mia there? and who was the blonde guy with them? So many questions but no answers...

I light up and take a long puff to try calm myself... but even that doesn't work.

"I didn't know you smoked" I look around to see Christian walking down the alley towards me

"Theres a lot you don't know about me" i smirk looking towards the brick wall in front of me.

"Who was he Tab?" Christian asks in a quiet voice

I let out a sigh and speak but i still can't bring myself to look at him

"Daniel Hicks.." I whisper i really really don't want to have this conversation...

"So that's the fuckers name" Christian growls as he runs his fingers through his hair

"Yes" i whisper again

"And what is he to you? He said he was your Dom... is that true?"

"Dan was my first Dom... he was also _her_ Dom" I growl

I hear Christian gasp, i bet he didn't bank on that

"He was your mothers Dom?" Christian asks in disbelief and i just simply nod

"What happened Tab?" Christian asks as he steps closer to me leaning against the wall, I suppose he's not going to give in until i give him some answers i take another long puff and begin

"Dan was the Dom _she_ chose, He was the reason we left for Georgia" I pause this is so hard

"She fucked off with a younger man she claimed to be in love with and left me there" i spit god i hate her how could she haul me away from my school, my friends, my home and from Christian and then drop me cause a nice young piece of ass caught her eye... some fucking mother she was

"How old were you?"

"18" Christian runs his fingers through his hair and sighs heavily

"Dan took me in, he looked after me, he trained me to be a submissive... when i was 21 i decided to move back to Seattle and he gave me $20,000 to get me started, a year or so later i met Suki when i was working in a BDSM shop and then i started working at the club shortly after that, I've only ever had 3 Doms and the nights i wasn't needed if you like i worked here... and you know the rest."

"Are you ok?" Christian asks as he puts his arms around my shoulders, i shrug him off and move away i can't deal with this now

"Like you care" i say quietly more to myself than to him but Christian heard me i hear him breath in sharply

"Of course i care, ive always cared about you Tabz" I can't believe he's just said that my anger comes back with a vengeance

"Bullshit Christian!" I turn to look at him, his eyes wide with shock

"It's the truth" He says getting up and walking closer to me as i back away

"You must think im fucking stupid, 10 years... 10 FUCKING YEARS CHRISTIAN" I yell

"With absolutely fuck all from you, Not a text, letter, phone call, or email... i had nothing from you and then one day you just walk back into my life and expect what? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME CHRISTIAN?" I scream i cant deal with his shit anymore i need to get away from him before i do something or say something i might regret, i walk passed Christian but im spun back round as he grabs my wrist

"What do you mean i never contacted you?" He growls

"I'd take your hands off me if i were you!" I spit, as i try to pull away Christian grip tightens on my wrist it hurts

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME!" Christian yells in my face were so close that i could lean forward and kiss him if i really wanted to but right at this very moment all i feel like doing to him is head butting him in his fucking pretty face

"YOU ARE NOT MY DOM CHRISTIAN AND I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING SUB!" I yell back he may be angry but so am i, i am no ones sub and i will not be grabbed and screamed at by anyone especially not Christian fucking Grey.

* * *

**A/N**

Right guys ive had quite a new nasty comments regarding bringing Elena in to this story, im sorry if it upset anyone i didn't mean to... i have now re written this story from here so please bare with me as i have had to scrap about 10 future chapters.

Let me no what you all think about the new story... but like my mother says "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" thanks again

Samii x


	22. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 22

A/N

Right guys this is start of the re write of this story, due to some not so nice comments, please let me no what you think... and for all of you who didn't like the way my other story was going don't worry there will be no Elena... let me no :) Samii x

* * *

T POV continued

"But i want to be your Dom" Christian said and I'm frozen, Christian Grey wants to be _MY_ Dom? Am i dreaming?

I stare at him for what seems like an eternity, our eyes fix and our lips part... oh how i want him but do i want to be his sub?_ Of course you do!_

Christians lipsslowly make their way to mine and i snap...

I rake my hands through his hair as i pull him harshly to me deepening our kiss, my lips part and is beautiful silky tounge enters my mouth and rhythmically strokes mine, im so hot already, Christian pulls me towards him and i can feel his erection press against me, i want him... i need him... but not here.

I gently break our passionate kiss as Christians hands slide over my ass and lifts me

"Christian" i whisper breathlessly as i wrap my legs around him, i feel his erection move against my already heated sex as he grinds against me... fuck it i want him right here, right now!

"Christian please! i beg as i move my own hips against him im begging for some friction, some relief

"Do you want me to be your Dom Tabi?" Christian asks his hips grinding me deeper, harder i feel myself building, Christians hand moves under my shirt to my bra, he pulls one of the cups down and roles my nipple with his finger and thumb... oh sweet jesus

My back arches and i push my breasts into his hands as i hear him groan, I'm teetering on the edge of my orgasm, the muscles in my stomach contract and i feel it any second now.

"I asked you a question Tabitha, do you want me to be your Dom?" Christian asks with a smirk

"YES CHRISTIAN!" I scream and the sensation stops Christian withdraws his hand and sets me back down... AAAAAHHHHHH it's so frustrating

"Christiaaaaaannn" I whine

Christian smiles a beautiful, breath-taking smile and i melt

"Well, now that's sorted tis time to go"

"GO?" I squeak is he serious? he gets me so hot and horny and then decides to stop...

"Yes go, it's getting late and i have work early" He smirks.

Bastard! He knows he's got me right where i he wants me.

"I thought you wanted to be my Dom?" i ask raising and eyebrow at him

"Your right i do want to be your Dom but you know as well as i do that we have procedures to under take before anything can happen Tab" He grins and i scowl, yes yes i know the fucking paperwork.

"That wasnt stopping you just" I smile as Christians eyes darken and he growls

"As much as i would love to take you right here, you've had a long night and so have i" He sighs and takes my hand and leads my towards a waiting black SUV.

Christian opens my door and he slides in beside me never letting go of my hand, my insides clench at the thought of being his sub, ive waited so long to be with him again that this seems to unreal but i will grab it with both hands and never let it go, i know im a dam good sub so i can do that i just hope i can keep my emotions at bay.

We sit in comfortable silence as we drive, i have no idea where we're going as i no idea were going as no words have been exchanged, there is a privacy screen up between us and the driver, i can faintly see a mans face for some reason i think i recognize him but i can't be sure its most probably my imagination playing tricks on me.

My mind not in the car at this moment its back down the alley imagining all the wonderful and naughty things Christian could do to my body, i was so close one more pinch of my nipple and i would have flown over the edge but i agree with Christian i don't think it would have been a good idea having sex up against a wall down a cold dark alley...

"Hey we're here" Christian says softly

_Here? where's here?_

We climb out of the car and i realize we're at my apartment _how does he know where i live?_

We walk to my door and i can feel Christian behind me, a cold shiver travels down my spin and i feel his gorgeous grey eyes on me, i smile to myself as i open the door and flip the light switch.

The living room and kitchen are open plan, hardwood flooring situates through out, it's a very large one bed apartment that suits me perfectly but it does get lonely here at nights that's why i like working late at JJ's so i don't have to come home and be on my own all night, usually after a late night working im too tired to care so i just head to my bedroom and crash out.

I walk in and Christian follows me, he closes the door and turns back to me to look around

"It's very nice" He mumbles as his eyes flash over my photos above the fireplace, i only have a few some from school of me and Louise, and a couple from a couple of holidays when i was younger. Christian studys each photo picking it up and then replacing it to pick up the next without saying a word

"Would you like some tea? or coffee?" I say hoping to break some of the tension, ive never felt so out-of-place and this is my own home. Christian keeps his eyes on the photos as he steps away from the fire-place.

He's looking for something, i wonder what it is? A flash of sadness creeps over his face as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose

"Hey you ok?" I ask him and he nods, he still looks sad... why would he be sad?

"Im fine, um...no to the drink I'd better be going "

He spins on his heel and opens my front door, leaving he closes it gently behind him, i finish making myself a cup of tea and walk towards the shelf to look at the pictures.

"What was that about?" i whisper to myself... im so confused.

* * *

A/N

So this is the start everyone hope you liked it let me no and please be nice... i don't mind people opinions but when it starts becoming personal it's just not nice.

I've never written a fan fic before so please bear with me...

Samii x


	23. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 23

A/N

Here's another chapter for you all tonight i no 2 in one night you lucky things lol :) i just wanted to let you guys see where this story is heading... hope you all enjoy this chapter is just Christian's POV for some reason i find writing Christian a lot easier than writing Tabi's but there will be more Tabi in the future chapters... enjoy :) X

* * *

C POV

I walk back to the SUV with Taylor behind the wheel , i can't believe she doesn't have one, Louise assured me she did when i got mine obviously she was lying to me either that or Tabi didn't want it or think it was worth keeping.

Maybe i should have asked, maybe i shouldn't have walked out like i did but i was upset and angry, angry at her and angry at myself, why would she keep it? _You're the only one who doesn't want to move on Grey! _I sigh deeply.

I need to email her, i feel around in my jeans and start to panic _shit where's my Blackberry?_ then i remember...

"Elliott" I growl

"Sir" Taylor hands me my Blackberry when we come to a stop outside Escala,

"Mr Grey asked me to give this to you when i took him and Miss Grey home, he said he couldn't find you" Taylor states simply and i relax thank god Elliott used his brain and gave it to Taylor instead of taking it home... hang on i thought i gave Taylor the night off?

"Mr Grey called me from your cell and said he couldn't find you, he then asked if i could come pick them up and take them home" Taylor answers my unspoken question

"Ok thankyou Taylor, did they get home ok?" i ask as we enter the elevator

"Yes sir, Miss Grey was a little intoxicated though" he says

_Shit!_ i told Elliott i didn't want Mia getting drunk but obviously he ignored me and didn't make her drink the pint of iced water brought for her... typical just typical i have to be the fucking baby sitter.

As we enter the apartment Taylor asks if there's anything else, i dismiss him and head off to my office to do some work, i check my inbox and i have 28 emails waiting for me shit il be here all night and it's already late, i reply to the most urgent ones and leave the rest tonight and deal with them tomorrow.

I decide to email Tabi

* * *

To: Tabitha Stone

From: Christian Grey

Tabitha,

I hope you are not still awake to read this and if you are GO. TO. BED!

I'm sorry about tonight, i was looking for something and when i realized you didn't have it i walked.

I would like to see you tomorrow at my apartment at Escala, penthouse.

The code for the elevator is 1806428 please remember it.

Il see you here tomorrow at 6 pm sharp. DO NOT BE LATE.

Goodnight

Christian

Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

* * *

I press send and decide to go pour myself a glass of wine, its late but i can't sleep im tired but i can't unwind, so much has happened tonight, seeing Tabi sing again was amazing she still has a very beautiful voice, seeing her being pulled away and "embraced" by another man, Mia saying she was in trouble, that miserable fucker Daniel Hicks with his filthy paws down Tabi's panties and her begging him to stop, him telling me he trained her, me telling him that she was mine that she gave me her virginity, seeing Tabi smoking - that's gonna stop, yelling at each other, me saying i wanted to be her Dom, feeling my hands on her, kissing her again after all this time, making her tilter on the edge of an orgasm as she agrees to let me be her Dom- ok that one wasn't really fair but hey it got the job done and then taking her home and finding out she didn't have the one treasured item i had kept all these years...

I take a long drink as i finish off my glass and pour myself another as my phone vibrates in my pocket who the hell is messaging me at gone 1 am?

* * *

From: Tabitha Stone

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

First my address now my email... god you really are a stalker.

I am awake if you must no, and i will not sleep when you say, may i remind you that you are not my Dom...yet.

Perhaps you could enlighten me to what you were looking for and then i could tell you whether or not i has said item.

, i will be at your apartment at 6pm sharp sir...

T

* * *

I'm not her Dom yet? well i will be come tomorrow and she will be my sub and i can put a stop to that smart mouth of hers.

* * *

From: Christian Grey

To: Tabitha Stone

Miss Stone,

I will take great pleasure in silencing that smart mouth of yours when i am your Dom.

I will enlighten you, i was looking for a picture, i thought you would have had said picture but obviously not... that's all i will say on the matter. GO TO BED!

Christian

Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprises Holding INC

* * *

From: Tabitha Stone

To: Christian Grey

NO!

* * *

NO? What does she mean NO? Is she determined to get a hard punishment once she's signed tomorrow? hmmmm now i think about it i think i like her smart mouth, especially when she's uses it to earn a good hard punishment. My cock twitches as i imagine everything i could do tomorrow in my playroom... oh god the wait it killing me... i decided im not going to email her back as i might just ask her to come over tonight instead of tomorrow.

_Ping!_

What the fuck?

I walk out of the kitchen to see Tabi stepping off the elevator

"YOU!" She snarled pointing a finger at me

"Tabitha" i say with a cold voice whats she doing here?

"So you were looking for a picture were you? One you thought i didn't have, didn't want or didn't need right?" she spits at me with an angry tone, God shes heading the right way for a spanking right now without her signature of the contract

"Yes that's what i thought" i smirk oh yes a really nice hard spanking will shut that smart mouth right up

"Don't you smirk at me you bastard" Tabi glares at me

"A picture like this you mean!" And she holds up a very old, damaged picture, i take it from her and examine it.

The picture is very battered and dog-eared, it has rips in the corners and it looks like it has been folded and folded again, it looks so fragile like it could fall apart at any moment, but apart from the wear i recognize the picture perfectly.

It's of me and Tabi when we were at school the day we met that same perfect day my whole was ripped apart, i close my eyes and remember it as if it were yesterday.

The sky was blue and the breeze was warm, me, Tabi, Louise and a few others were hanging out having lunch outside, Louise's father had brought her a new camera and she was desperate to try it out through lunch she was snapping pictures.

The only ones who hadn't had a picture together was me and Tabi, Louise really wanted one of us and she kept calling us 'love birds', i really liked the term and i think Tabi liked it too.

"Please 'love birds' just one picture please" Louise whined and i looked towards Tabi who shrugged her shoulders and smiled at me, i reached up and grabbed her hand pulling me in to my lap, Tabi laughed a beautiful heart warming laugh as i wrapped my arms round her waist, i smiled at her infectious laughter a genuine smile not one of my many fake ones but a real face splitting grin, Louise snapped the picture and showed it to us it was truly beautiful.

She had them developed and gave one to me and she said that she had sent one to Tabi aswell but she had no idea whether Tabi received it or not, i always thought i was the only one with that picture, i would look at it when life was tough, mom brought me a frame for it and it went everywhere with me even to Harvard and i also had a copy made for my office at GEH.

I open my eyes to see Tabi looking at me with tears in her yes

"You have it?" I ask in disbelief

"Yes i have it Christian, it was the best day of my life i was so happy, there with you... i didn't ever want to be away from you. I took that picture everywhere with me, i wanted you near me. For the last 10 years that photo has either been in under my pillow or folded in my purse" She cries tears spilling down her face

"Come with me" I say and take her hand, i lead her in to my bedroom and close the door behind her as Tabi sits down on my bed, she still has tears running down her checks dripping off her chin, she looks around and i think she wonders why she's in my bedroom.

"Lift that pillow" I whisper pointing to my pillow, Tabi does as she's asked and she's gasps and her hand flys over her mouth as she see's what she's just uncovered.

* * *

**A/N**

Well guys im done for the night im off to bed :) hope you all like this new chapter let me no

Samii x


	24. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 24

**A/N**

Hiya guys im getting happier about posting new chapters now as im enjoying the nice comments about my story :) This is continuation of Christian's POV, im going to post everything ive written down in paper tonight so its going to be a lovely long chapter for you all... love ya all Samii...

P.s Just want to say a massive thank you to BellaDonna41387 for such amazing words of support :) x

* * *

C POV

"Christian" Tabi whispers as she lifts the item from its resting place, fresh tears trickle in the same path as the old ones as she holds my battered copy of the picture in her hands.

"I never wanted to be apart from you either Tab" i whisper hoarsely as the large lump in my throat refuses to disappear.

"Oh Christian" Tabi cries as she launches herself at me, her hands fly around my neck as our lips crash together, as we kiss passionately i move my lips to her cheeks and eyes trying to kiss her precious tears away, i don't want her sad, i want her happy and full of life.

"Christian" Tabi breaths as my lips move down her face to her neck, i stop and stare deep in to her beautiful blue eyes

"Can we forget the contract just for tonight please?" She begs and i growl

"I thought you'd never ask"

I lift Tabi up and she wraps her legs around my waist, i walk forward and lay her gentle on the bed and being to strip her beautiful sexy body out of her clothes, i really want to savor her, worship her with all i am but im an im patient man and i need her so desperately, my cock is straining against my jeans and its becoming painful_ i need her now._

Tabi lies on the bed in her bra and panties, shes breath-taking, i stand and quickly rid myself of my clothes, i keep my boxers on and climb back on the bed i kiss her instep and she moans deliciously, goosebumps appear all over her beautiful pale silky skin. Tabi moans in frustration as i move slowly punching feather light kisses all up her right leg, once i reach her lacy panties which i must say she looks good enough to eat i decided to taunt her some more, i re trace my path kissing back down her leg and then replete the gesture with the left.

Once i reach her panties again i tickle around the outside of the material and Tabi giggles, its such a beautiful sound but this is no time for giggling, i move her soft material aside and slip my fingers in as she gasps, God she's so wet and warm, i can't wait to taste her, to bury my toung in her and to drive her wild but im on a timer tonight and i don't think il be able to hold on much longer, I draw my fingers out of her and run them over Tabi's lips as she sucks her arousal off my fingers _fuck that's so hot!_

I can't wait any longer, i flip her over and pull off her bra and panties, as i kick off my boxers i can't resist her smooth firm ass im desperate to make it warm and pink, i lift my hand and force it down coming in to contact with Tabi's sexy ass hard, i groan as it already starts to turn that beautiful shade of pink, i can't help it i have to do it again this time really hard, the smack rings through my hand and it hurts but the moan of pleasure i receive from Tabi is well worth the sting.

"Tabi do we need one?" I ask well at least one part of my brain hasnt reacted the same way as my cock

"No!" She moans "I'm on the injection, Christian please" She begs

I position myself at her entrance as she moans and gasps as i enter her from behind oh she feels so good i ease out of her

"Hold tight baby this is going to be hard and fast" I pant as i slam in to her as she screams out in pleasure, i set a punishing rhythm in and out harder and faster than the last i feel my balls tighten.

"Spank me Christian please" Tabi moans as i spank her _god this is so fucking hot!_

"Harder Sir... spank me harder PLEASE" I spank her as if my life depends on it my palm is fucking killing but with each spank i can feel Tabi's orgasm coming, her walls close around my cock engulfing me, pulling me, milking me _oh fuck im so close._

"Come for me Tabi" I moan as i raise my hand and spank her one last time and she falls over the edge screaming my name.

"OH... FUCK...TABI" I rasp out as i spill in to her and collapse, my full body weight on top of her back were both breathing heavily, i have never felt so alive, so satisfied and so completely fucked.

I kiss Tabi's shoulders as she moans gently, i pull out of her and roll over pulling the duvet up and over us, i finally feel free to sleep, i drift off with the girl of my dreams sleeping peacefully next to me.

* * *

I wake to bright light streaming through the windows in my bedroom, i feel like ive slept for 12 hours straight but i no that's not the case, i suddenly remember everything that happened last night and for the first time ever i feel happy truly happy.

I blink as my eyes adjust to the light, my body is wrapped around something, i lift my head to see Tabi sleeping soundly under me.

My legs are both wrapped around hers, my head is on her chest and my hand is clutching her right breast and what beautiful breasts she has, i feel Tabi sturr and her hand lifts and gently brushes my back but then i realize something_ i didn't stiffen?_

I move my body against her to see if she will touch me again and she does, her hand brushes over my back and settles resting on my scars and again i don't stiffen or fill with rage and panic _what the hell?_

I lift my hand off her breast and kiss it, when i open my eyes i gasp at what i have just kissed.


	25. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 25

**A/N**

Right were back to Tabi's POV for this chapter and then the next which will be posted tomorrow night will be back to Christian's :) Samii x

* * *

**T POV**

Something tickles, it feels so soft i can't help but let out a giggle, i open my eyes to see a pair of mesmerizing gray eyes staring back but not at me at my chest... _what is it with men and breasts?_

"Hi" I smile i can't believe im waking up to that beautiful face

"Whats this?" Christian whispers tracing his fingers on the small tattoo on my left breast

"It's a tattoo" I say shyly _crap_ i forgot about that

"Yes i can see that" He speaks gently while his fingers still caress my chest

"Then what?" i ask confused surely he can see what it is i know its small but its pretty simple

"Well... it's a letter...a letter C" He can't take his eyes off the small letter that sits just above my heart

"Yes its a capital C" I smirk at him

"What...what does it mean? Why do you have it? When did you have it done?" Christian asks quickly

"So many questions, you really want to have this conversation at 6am?" I ask still feeling very tired from last nights antics

"6AM? SHIT!" Christian says as he jumps out of bed

"Join me in a shower?" He extends his hand hopefully i nod and take it as he leads me in to the bathroom.

* * *

After a lovely relaxing hot shower with no sex as Christian is running late, i get dressed i didn't bring a change of clothes with me as i didn't think I'd be staying the night i quickly find my clothes and boots disgaurded around Christians bedroom, Christian is nowhere to be seen so i finish dressing quickly and tie my hair up and leave to find him.

I hear voices coming from down the hall so i follow them, i see Christian sat at the breakfast bar looking extremely gorgeous in a grey suit, his hair is still damp and i wish i could just drag him back to bed but the mans got to work and i understand that mores the pity, He's talking with a beautiful woman I'd say in her early 40s she really is stunning she's wearing a white button down shirt with cropped sleeves and a black skirt i can't see any more cause she's standing behind the island, the gentleman sitting next to Christian both with their backs to me looks very smart in a very sharp black suit with his buzz hair cut, he reminds me of my uncle Sean when he was in the army, i adored my Uncle he was an amazing man but sadly he died in action.

His best friend and my Godfather was a man named Jason, he was so funny, he was also in the army with my Uncle they were classic together, i looked up to Jason like he was my father, Sean was my mother's brother and they were at one point in my life very close, when my mom wanted me christened she asked Sean but he said no cause he was already family so mom asked Jason and he said yes. I haven't seen Jason since i was about 12, when we had to move again cause of her!

The woman talking with Christian and the other man looks towards me and gives me a large heart warming smile.

"Good morning Miss, would you like some breakfast?" she asks as Christian looks over his shoulder and smiles at me

"There you are, i thought I'd lost you" He smirks patting the stool next to him, i walk over to him and freeze when the man next to him looks in my direction, Christian notices and clears his throat.

"Tabi, this is Mrs. Jones my house keeper" Christian says as i look towards her

"Gail this is Tabitha" He says

"It's lovely to meet you Tabitha" Gail says with her warm smile that i return

"It's lovely to meet you too Mrs. Jones, and please call me Tabi" I smile

"Tabi this is my head of security..." Christian says as i interrupt him

"Jason Taylor?" I say in complete shock. Christian and Gail look between us both of their mouths gaping

"Tabitha Stone" Taylor greets me with a smirk and i squeal as i bolt in to his arms almost knocking him over as he wraps his arms around me crushing me in a hug

"Taylor... uh! Can't breath" I fake as he laughs and settles me down, he holds me at arm's length and examines me.

"My god Tabi look at you, God you look so grown up how old are you know? Taylor asks

"I'm 25 now T" I smirk at him

"WOW! 25! Hey you know you'll always be my baby right?" Taylor smiles at me as i roll my eyes

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Christian's voice startles us, i pull away from Taylor as he straightens up i turn round to look at Christian and he's scowling... wow he's pissed

"Christian, I've known Taylor all my life... Taylor's my God father... right?" I look over my shoulder to see Taylor nodding as i turn my attention back to the ticking time bomb in front of me.

"Christian say something" I whisper as Christian looks like he's going to faint, all the color has drained from his face and he looks like he's seen a ghost

"I have to go..." Christian stands and walks passed me and Taylor

"Sir?" Taylor asks as Christian turns to give him an icy glare

"No! Taylor you stay here, I'm taking Sawyer" Christian spits as enters the elevator and the doors close in front of him.


	26. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 26

**A/N**

Hi all im back with a lovely long new chapter from Christian's POV, please make sure you have tissues at the ready as Christian is going to be going deep :) as always i love the lovely reviews your all amazing and you all make writing an absolute joy... Samii

* * *

**C POV**

Taylor? Taylor is Tabi's godfather? that means their practically family FUCK! How did i not see this? Shit what am i going to do? I can't and won't lose Tabi but i won't lose Taylor either... oh god this is hard.

Why did this have to happen? I decide i need talk to Taylor, i call him and tell him to come to my office before my meeting, i try to get on with some work while i wait for him but i can't concentrate on anything.

A knock interrupts my thoughts and i know its Taylor,

"Come" i yell oh god this is it, i have to make a choice that i really don't want to make.

"Sir you wanted to see me?" Taylor asks as he walks through the door and closes it quietly behind him.

"Yes Taylor take a seat please" i say as gesture to the seat in front of my desk

"No thank you Sir, I'd rather stand" Taylor says as professorial as ever i sigh and steeple my fingers in front of me and press my lips against them.

"Have you spoken to Tabitha?" i ask in a calm voice

"Yes sir i have" Taylor reply's

"And...?"

"And what sir?" Taylor looks confused God this is like pulling teeth

"Taylor quit the 'sir' for a moment, for the next 10 minuets I'm not your boss so speak freely what did she tell you?" I ask getting annoyed

"Everything" Taylor states coldly

"Everything?" Shit whats she told him?

"Everything!" Taylor glares, yep she have told him all of it _shit!_

"What exactly did she tell you Taylor?" i sigh

"I can speak freely for the next 10 minuets Mr. Grey?" Taylor asks and i nod this isn't going to be good

"Tabi told me how you two met, everything with Mrs. Lincon, becoming a sub" Taylor spits

"She told me about you and Elliott saving her from her first Dom and then you asking her to be your sub" Taylor says clenching his fists and i nod for him to go on

"And you thoughts on all of this Jason?" I ask him

"You want my honest thoughts? seriously i think you're a dick!" He spits and i glare at him

"I think you're a dick for letting her go 10 years ago and i think you're a dick for not trying to find her"

"I did try, she didn't want to know... Elena told me she moved on" I snarl as i stand my fists clenched

"You tried? Well that's not what Tabi thinks Mrs. Lincon told Tabi that you didn't want anything to do with her! Taylors voice starts to raise as i watch him straighten himself

"Well Tabi must be mistaken" I say through gritted teeth

"Are you calling my god-daughter a liar?" He says as i step closer to him

"No i am not, I'm saying that she must be mistaken" I say as i stop in front of Taylor

"I don't think so, i think Elena played you to get you to forget about Tabi so she could have you and she succeeded... you deserted Tabi for Elena, you broke her heart you selfish..." I don't let him finish i grab him around the throat and force him up against the door.

"How are you...how FUCKING DARE YOU Jason! I never forgot about Tabi, never she was always on my mind 24/7, when she left my fucking heart went with her..." I let go of Taylor as he drops to the floor gasping for breath, i step away from him running my fingers through my hair.

"I never stopped thinking about her, i thought she didn't want me to find her so i forced myself to stop looking for her" I say softly as i sit back in my chair and Taylor stands and faces me

"And taking Tabi as your sub?" Taylor asks

"I don't want her as my sub Taylor well.. i do but... oh i don't know" I say as i rake my hands over my face

"Tabitha is under the impression that last night was a one time thing... i that how you feel?"

"I don't know... i woke up this morning and i was happy... really happy, i know you care for her Taylor..."

"Your right i do, i haven't seen her since she was 12 years old. I thought and still think of her as my daughter, she had no father figure and after my best friend her uncle passed away i looked after her, cared for her as if she were mine and i vowed I'd never let anyone hurt her and i stand by that" Taylor speaks as if he's talking about his young daughter Sophie

"And you think i would hurt her? you think Tabi needs protecting from me?" i ask shocked to my core i would never hurt Tabi

"Not physically sir no but emotionally yes" Oh were back to 'Sir' now are we? Yes ok i want to take Tabi in to my playroom, can't fucking wait actually but hurt Tabi emotionally? NO NEVER

"I would never hurt Tabi emotionally Taylor, you have no idea how i feel about Tabi..." I'm cut off

"Then tell me" Taylor growls

"I...i can't... i don't know how" I grind out, Taylor rolls his eyes at me and i become even more pissed off.

"Well tell Tabi then, or is are you just using her like all the rest?" He yells

"No! she's nothing like the rest" i yell back

"WHY?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" I roar at the top of my voice making Taylor freeze at my words

"Y...you love her?" He chokes out

"Yes ive always loved her Jason, from the first moment i set eyes on her i knew we belonged together i just didn't know how to say it" I whisper as the realization hits me, i love her... i love Tabitha Stone but does she love me?

"Does she know?" Taylor asks with wide eyes as i shake my head suddenly my intercom buzzes shit!

"Yes" i say softly

"Sir there's a Tabitha Stone here to see you, ive told her your busy but she won't take no for an answer" Andrea sounds worried, i look towards Taylor who is smirking back at me

"It's fine Andrea, send her in" I say still smirking at the thought of Tabi making my staff nervous.

The door opens and Tabi walks in eyeing me and Taylor suspiciously she knows somethings up _FUCK!_

"Whats going on here? Oi you" She points to Taylor

"I've been waiting for you for ages in that bloody car" she says boy she's pissed

"And you!" She turns her finger to me

"If you even think for a second about firing Taylor our little arrangement is over got it!" Tabi says as she raises her eyebrows and looks me dead in the eyes. She's telling me off... _Oh my God she's so sexy when she's angry_

"Im waiting Grey" She says folding her arms in front of her and tapping her foot... _shes so cute._ I smirk and look towards Taylor who is gaping at us

"Yes Miss Stone i understand, Taylor you are not fired, not that i ever intended firing you anyway but you're not"

"Happy now?" I smirk at Tabi

"Very thank you Mr. Grey, right c'mon you move your ass ive got things to do" Tabi says as Taylor walks over to me and extends his hand to me, i take it as he mouths 'i trust you', i nod in understanding then he walks over to Tabi, kisses her on the cheek and tells her he'll be outside.

"What was that all about?" Tabi asks once Taylor's left the room

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I say innocently and Tabi rolls her eyes at me

"Would you like a spanking Miss Stone?" i ask as my palms twitch

"I would love one Mr. Grey but as i said yesterday you are not my Dom _yet_... and i am a very busy girl today" Tabi smirks as she walks over to me wrapping her arms around my neck, she feels so good in my arms, so warm and soft, she smells beautiful i can't help breathing in her wonderful scent.

"Whats wrong?" She asks Dammit! obviously i didn't hide my disappointment well enough

"Nothings wrong" i lie

"Christian" She says sternly and i sigh

"You still want to be my sub?" I ask in hope that she wants 'more'

"Of course i do, i told you this last night" She worries and i hold her tighter

"Unless you don't want me" Tabi mumbles in to my chest , even like this i still don't stiffen im amazed this had never happened before

"Of course i want you, don't ever think that please" i beg i never want her to think i don't want her but i don't want her as my sub, i don't see Tabi as my sub i see her as something more my girlfriend maybe, ive just confessed to Taylor that i love her but what if Tabi just wants me as her Dom? Oh this is so confusing.

Tabi nods into my chest and snuggles closer, there's a feeling in my chest only it's not painful it doesn't come from my scars, it comes from somewhere deeper, way down in my heart, i feel the ice around it thawing as she holds me tighter _oh how i love her._

Tabi releases me and stands on her tip toes to kiss my lips lightly, as she tries to pull away i grab her pony tail and pull it back forcing her head up as i kiss her deeply trying to convey all my new-found love into that one kiss, my toung strokes hers gently shes tastes like lime and orange tic taks, i feel myself growing hard for her as she moans in my mouth and her hands fist in to my hair as she pulls gently oh i want her on my desk now!

KNOCK KNOCK...

"Uh... Sir" Taylor enters looking down as me and Tabi break apart fucking Taylor i know i said i wouldn't fire him but he sure knows how to ruin the moment

"What Taylor" I say trying to force my erection away

"Your mothers here sir" Yeah that did it i am limp as fuck now _whats she doing here?_

"Ok Taylor thank you just give me 5 minuets" i say as Taylor smirks

"Wow! a 5 minuet quicky on your desk every girls dream" Tabi uses her smart mouth again as my mouth hits the floor at her words... _God my girls got balls_

"As much as i would love that Mr. Grey it's not polite to keep your mother waiting" Tabi says as she pulls me back down for a soft sexy kiss, im totally lost in her when my mother clears her throat.

"See you later Mr. Grey" Tabi says with a wink as she turns away from me and extends her hand to my mother

"It's lovely to see you again Mrs. Grey" Tabi says as she shakes moms hand and leaves without a backward glance.

My mother stands there staring at the closed-door in compete shock

"Mom" I say slowly as she turns and walks over to the large leather couch in my office

"Mom would you like some tea? coffee?" I ask as my mother nods slowly

"Tea please" She says still in shock as i press the intercom on my desk

"Andrea, a cup of tea for my mother please milk one sugar" i say staring at mom

"Yes Sir Mr. Grey" Andrea says

"Mom? You ok?" I ask coming to sit next to her

"Yes Christian, who?... who was that woman?" she asks looking at me as i smile

"You look so happy Christian"

"I am mom" i say truthfully

"Well? who is she?" mom smiles

"Mom..." i start to explain when there's a knock and Andrea walks in holding a tray

"I took the liberty of making some coffee for you Mr. Grey, your meeting has been delayed for another hour im afraid" Andrea says hoping im not angry, but how can i be angry when i have someone like Tabi?

"That's fine Andrea, and thank you for the coffee that was very thoughtful of you" i say with a genuine smile as Andrea stares at me shocked

"Thats... that's quite alright Mr. Grey, will there be anything else sir?" she asks nervously

"No thank you Andrea you may go" I can't stop smiling, Andrea practically runs from my office, i laugh and turn back to my mother who is watching me closely

"So? whoever she is shes changed you massively Christian" she says smiling

"Do you remember this girl?" I ask as i retrieve the photo off my desk and hand it to her, mom glances at the picture as her hand comes to her mouth as she gasps and tears come in to her eyes

"Christian" she gasps blinking repeatedly

"I've never seen this picture before" She rasps out

"It was taken on my first day at Brindlyford, Louise a friend of mine took it, she gave it to me, that's the photo i asked you to get me a frame for... do you recognize the girl?" I ask in hope mom only met Tabi once but she has a very good memory

"Yes Christian that's Tabi" mom says as i nod

"She broke your heart" she whispers

"I found her mom" i whisper as she gasps

"Oh Christian, but what about...?" Mom says as she points to the door as something hits her

"That young woman was Tabitha?" mom asks in disbelief

"Yes mom, i found her, i found my Tabi" i choke out as tears spill from my moms eyes

"How Christian? when? where?" She cries so i explain

"The other night when me, Elliott and Mia went out, Tabi was working at the club Jumpin Jacks, she's a bar maid and one of the singers, she met Mia first and i instantly recognized her, she was pulled away and assaulted by an ex of hers, me and Elliott pulled him off her and Mia held her as she cried, once that prick was dealt with i couldn't find her i looked everywhere for her and found her outside smoking. I asked her if she was ok and we talked, i took her home and i looked for that photo at her apartment, i couldn't find it, i got upset and had Taylor take me home, i felt like shit that she didn't want or need the picture so i emailed her and told her, i also said i wanted to see her today and sent her the elevator code for Escala. She got mad at me and showed up early this morning, i mean like after 1am early, she was so angry at me, she pulled out the same picture mom, she had slept with it under her pillow cause she didn't want to be away from me, i took her in to my bedroom and showed her where my other copy of that picture is - under my pillow... we spent the night together mom" i say as my mom smiles through tears

"Oh sweetheart" she says as she brings her hand to my cheek, i have to tell her its killing me

"Mom...i..." I stammer

"What Christian"

"I think im in love with her... well actually scrap that i AM in love with her" that's it ive done it ive told another person that i am in love with Tabi

"Christian" My mom whispers again in shock as fresh tears spill in her eyes

"Hey why are you crying? i thought this would be happy news?" i ask as i lift my moms chin to look at me

"Oh Christian this is happy news, wonderful news, these are tears of joy, how long have you known?"

"All my life i guess, i loved her the second i met her, ive loved her all these years" I tell her trying to keep hold of my own emotions

"Oh sweet boy that's beautiful"

"You haven't heard the best part yet" i smile

"Well Christian tell me" mom says excitedly

"I don't stiffen when she touches me, when i woke up this morning i was wrapped around Tabi, her fingers brushed my back and nothing happened mom, i even moved to see if Tabi would touch me again and she did, Tabi put her hand flat on the scars on my back and i didn't stiffen or pulls away, it didn't hurt mom, Tabi's touch didn't hurt" i blink as my cheeks become wet and i realize im crying, im crying in at work, in my office with my mother next to me.

Mom reaches for me and i don't back away, i try not to stiffen but i can't help it, i don't understand why i don't with Tabi? Mom must feel me tense and tries to pull away but i need the closeness and Tabi's not here, i pull mom back to me and hold her close as we both cry.

"Christian" Mom says once we've both calmed down

"Yeah mom" i sniffle

"You keep hold of that girl, ive never seen you so happy" she says with a smile

"I am happy mom, she makes me happy, im never letting her go again i can promise you that" I say hugging my mom again even though it hurts i know she needs it.

Mom gets up and kisses my hair as she walks to the door and turns

"Christian, i came to invite you to dinner tonight i expect you to bring Tabi so we can meet again properly" she says

"6 o'clock"

"Sure mom o'clock don't worry il be bringing Tabi" Im grinning like a fool

"Good, i love you Christian"

"I love you to mom"

And she's gone, i fall back on to the couch, my face is starting to hurt from smiling

" your meeting is in 5 minuets sir" Andres voice fills the room as i get up and kiss the picture of me and Tabi and return it to my desk.

I leave my office grinning like a mad man... a man madly in love... after all that's what i am.


	27. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 27

**A/N**

Hi guys hope your all having a good night im back with another chapter this one has both Tabi and Christian POV... ENJOY :)

* * *

**T POV**

Taylor drove me back to my apartment so i could change and pick up a few things to stay at Christian's for the weekend, i remembered that's im ment to be signing that dam contract today to become his sub, i don't want to be his sub, well i do but only in a sexual way but in every other way i want to be his girlfriend, i love kinky fuckery i really do but with Christian its something else all together, im trying really hard not to let my emotions and my feelings for him take over and to just tell him... to tell him that i love him, that ive done nothing but love him for the for the last 10 years but Christian doesn't want me like that he just wants me as his sub right?

Once im changed and ive gathered my things plus one very important item that i won't leave behind we head back to Escala, Christian's apartment is beautiful, i love looking out over Seattle and watching everything from way up in the sky, it makes you feel like your flying but not a good place to be if you have a fear of heights thankfully i do not.

My phone buzzes and i smile as i see it's an email from Christian.

* * *

From: Christian Grey

To: Tabitha Stone

Tabi,

My mother requests the pleasure of OUR company for dinner tonight,

please say you'll come with me?

Are you back at Escala yet?

I will be home early as we have to bat my parents house for 6PM

So i will be home about 4PM

Taylor will come collect me

I miss you

Laters, Baby

Christian

Christian Grey CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings INC

* * *

WOW! Dinner at his parents house? Grace asked for me? He misses me? I think my heart just skipped a beat

* * *

From: Tabitha Stone

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

I would love to come with you to your parents house for dinner

I can't believe your mom remembers me

Yes i am back at Escala

Taylor took me back to my apartment so i could change i brought an overnight bag with me... hope you don't mind

Ok see you soon

T

P.S Oh Christian...i miss you too x

* * *

I click send and wait...

* * *

Taylor directs me to a room upstairs, it's very nice, very calm and clean, all white walls and white bedding... it looks like a very expensive hotel room i giggle at how un homely it is but hey who am i to argue with Christian's colour scheme?

"Hey you ok?" Taylor says from the door way

"Yeah im fine T, you?" i ask

"Yeah im not bad, can we talk?" Taylor says in his fatherly tone

"Sure T... sit" I point to the bed, Taylor sits next to me and looks nervous...wow ive never seen this, who would have ever thought that is big, built, ex military man would be nervous talking to his 25-year-old god-daughter?

"Tabi..." Taylor says stuttering

"What T? spit it out"

"Can i ask you about your..." Taylor trails off as he points i look down and realize the top of the C tattoo on my chest is showing _Dammit!_ I hate being cursed with big breasts, by at least they can be a conversation starter.

"Ah you want to know about this" i say as my finger brushes the delicate C like Christian's fingers did earlier...mmm just thinking about him gives me shivers, his hands, his eyes, his lips, his... wow wow ow stop it! pull yourself together.

"Tab? Tabi?" Taylor's voice brings me back

"You always were a day dreamer" Taylor smiles

"What do you want to know about it?" i ask

"Well for starters what does it mean? i mean i think i know already but..." He says with a shrug

"It's a capital C- for Christian" I say as i look down, Taylor puts his arm around me as tears fill my eyes

"When did you get it done?" He asks softly

"I was 16, a friend of mine in Georgia learnt to do tattoo's, i had it done illegally it cost me $5, i used my bus fare home to get it done. I walked home in the rain but it was worth it, the pain, getting soaked, being ill... everything didn't matter cause when i got home and saw it, it felt right it was like he was there with me, he was- is always in my heart and i just wanted something you know" I trail off as i cry harder remembering the complete pain of losing him and finding him again it was all too much i had to let it out.

"Tabz..." Taylor says after i calmed down

"Yeah" i whispered

"Do you love him?"

"Yes...yes i love him, i always have and i always will" I lift my head to stare at Taylor who looks like he's fighting to hold something back

"T? What is it?" I ask

"Tabi..." Taylors cut off by his phone buzzing, as he pulls it out of his pocket he shows me the ID- .

A smile stretches over my face as i feel excitement building up inside me, i feel like a kid at christmas

"Sir" Taylor answers all business like

"Yes Sir, shes here, i was just helping her unpack" He says with a wink

"Yes Sir, shes fine"

Oh he's asking about me, i get of the bed and start jumping around the room, Taylor tries his best not to burst out laughing but he just can't, Christian must say something cause Taylor clears his throat as says

"Sorry Sir, I'm leaving now" and like that the phone calls ended Christian must have hung up

"Your going to get me fired" Taylor laughs

"He wouldn't dare" I smirk

"Right I'd better go, you'll be ok here? Gail's in the kitchen if you need anything and we'll be back soon" Taylor says as i nod, he kisses my head and closes the door behind him.

* * *

**C POV**

Its 3.15pm ive got 20 minuets until i go home to Tabi God please let the time go fast, i wonder what she's doing? I wonder if Taylor's said anything to her? NO! NO! NO! Taylor wouldn't... _shit!_ but what if he has? what if he's told her how i feel? what if he's told her that i love her? what if she's left? what if he told her and she decided to leave and i never get to see her again? NO! I can't have that... i wont have that _shit!_ i need to get out of here i need to phone Taylor and to get him to pick me up but first i need to tell Sawyer to go home

"Sir" Sawyer answers on the first ring

"Sawyer take the car back to Escala, Taylor is coming to pick me up"

"Yes Sir" Sawyer reply's and i end the call now to phone Taylor oh god let her still be there

"Sir" Taylor answers

"Taylor I'd like you to come pick me up in 10 minuets, Is Tabi at Escala?" i ask hopefully

"Yes Sir, shes here, i was just helping her unpack" Taylor says and i release the breath i was holding

"Is she ok?"

"Yes Sir, she's fine"

Shes at Escala and shes ok, waiting for me, jealously flares inside of me as i hear Taylor burst out laughing what the fuck?

"TAYLOR!" I bark at him as he clears his throat

"Sorry Sir, I'm leaving now" He says and i end the call.

* * *

I walk out to the waiting SUV and slip in to the back, Taylor is up front as professional as always even after everything that's happened today... maybe i should apologize to him after all i did ask him to speak freely

"Taylor" I say and wait for him to acknowledge me

"Yes sir"

"Could you pull over please?"

"Sir?" Taylor says confused but does what i ask... he's confused? I'm confused i feel like i have to apologize, no i have to apologize

Taylor stops the car and i do something ive never done before... i get out of the back and slide in to the front seat next to Taylor, he looks confused

"Is everything ok Sir?" He asks

"No Taylor i want to apologize for my behaviour earlier and this morning, i guess i was in shock, finding out about your relationship with Tabi, i had no idea you were her God father and i acted childishly and for that im sorry, as for in my office i had no right to lay a finger on you, i asked you to speak freely and i guess it just struck a raw nerve, im sorry again" I say looking at my hands, i feel like a child but i admit when im wrong, i don't like doing it but i will and today i was wrong.

Taylor stares at me like ive grown two heads

"Yes Jason you heard right i said im sorry" I smirk as he recovers from his shock, in all the years Taylor has worked for me he has never been shocked but i can stun him into silence with a simple apology _amazing!_

"That's perfectly alright Sir, no need to apologize" Taylor says awkwardly as i smile

"Alright, thankyou Jason" I laugh and so does he

"Taylor"

"Yes Sir"

"You can take us home now" i smile

"Yes Sir" Taylor says returning my smile

We sit in comfortable silence until we see the outline of Escala in the distance, i smile to myself at the thought of Tabi waiting for me at home.

"Tabi is settled in the guest bedroom Sir, i didn't know where you would like her to stay so Mrs. Jones set up the guest room" Taylor says catching my smile, it slowly starts to fade as i think of Tabi still wanting to be my sub, maybe if i don't mention it she'll forget about it, maybe she'll change her mind when she meets my parents tonight, il mention that my mother thinks she's my girlfriend, im just going to ask her but what if i don't get the reaction im hoping for?

"Sir, i want to apologize for laughing earlier when you were on the phone, it was very rude of me" Taylor says seriously

"What were you laughing at anyway?" I ask im curious its been bugging me since i hung up, Taylor doesn't say anything so i ask again

"Taylor what were you laughing at?" I ask my tone void of emotion as Taylor sighs

"Tabi" is all he says

"What about her?" I ask confused why would he be laughing at Tabi?

"She started smiling and jumping up and down when she realized you had asked about her" Taylor says smiling at my expression, i practically bounce in my seat at his words

"Yeah like that" He smiles as we park at the under ground garage at Escala, i run for the elevator as Taylor laughs behind me, i can't help it im excited to see her, the ride up to the penthouse seems to take forever or maybe its just me.

When the doors open i push Taylor out of the room and run in, im about to call for Tabi when im met by Mrs. Jones glaring at me putting her finger to he lips and shushing us, im about to say something when she points to the large balcony doors adjoining the living room, i look out to see a figure standing there looking out over Seattle , its only then i realize i can hear music - a guitar and beautiful singing.

My eyes widen when i realize its Tabi, she's standing on the balcony playing a guitar, i didn't know she could play? Me and Taylor look at each other and then back towards Tabi, we walk towards the sliding doors and open them slightly and Tabi's beautiful voice fills our ears, shes singing about wanting someones heart but she can't have it, i listen intently to every word, Taylor where's a proud smile as Mrs. Jones has tears in her eyes, my love for Tabi grows with every word but then she sings and my heart stops

_"Back in my life i want you so bad,_

_And losing you is losing all that i have,_

_And this is crazy,_

_Boy why can't you see_

_You're the only one that ever mattered to me"_

Is she singing about me? I think ive just fallen more in love with her if that's even possible, Taylor nudges me with his arm as Tabi finishes the song, i look at him confused as her thrusts his head in Tabi's direction silently says 'go on', i open the doors fully and walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist, she doesn't so much as flinch she must have known i was there _but how?_

"I didn't know you could play the guitar" I say softly in her ear

"Like i said there's a lot of things you don't know about me " Tabi says with a smirk as she turns in my arms, i smile at her as i place a gentle kiss on her lips, Tabi grabs my jacket and pulls me closer to her, i pin her to the railings as i deepen our kiss, our toungs stroke each other as her hands slide up my chest , passed my neck and into my hair, she pulls lightly as i moan into her mouth, my hands slide down her beautiful body till i reach her ass as i cup and squeeze it i push my growing erection on to her desperate for some relief _oh how ive missed her._

Our kiss ends and we're both breathing heavily, i press my forehead against hers to try regain some composia before i decide to fuck her here in the open regardless of whether Taylor and Gail can see us.

"I missed you today" Tabi say breaking our silence, i open my eyes are stare in to her beautiful blues and smile

"I missed you to Tabz" I smile at her as she blushes, i kiss her cute little nose as we walk back inside hand in hand.

Gail and Taylor are sitting at the breakfast bar as we enter, they both smile at us and i feel giddy i can't remember a time where I've ever been this happy, we walk over to join them as Gail sets two fresh cups of coffee in front of us as we both thank her in unison, we all burst out laughing, its strange having laughter at Escala but its a nice strange though.

"Who taught you to play?" i ask Tabi as she smiles and turns to Taylor

"You taught Tabi to play the guitar? Gail ask Taylor as he smiles

"Yeah when you were what? 10?" He asks and she nods

"Yeah ive still got the guitar you gave me, the one i learnt on" She says as Taylor looks shocked

"Are you serious?" He asks as Tabi nods

"Tabz that guitar is priceless, it was my fathers... i can't believe you still have it" Taylor blinks as Tabi stands up and runs off


	28. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 28

A/U: Hiya guys im back :) im so very sorry for not updating in so long had a lot of things going on in my personal life and ive neglected this story, i don't know when il be updating again but il try to do my very best for you all... anyway enough of me rambling here's the next chapter :) x

* * *

T POV

As i make my way to my room Taylor said I would be staying in I grab my old guitar case and hurry back downstairs, i walk past Christian, Taylor and Gail and kneel in front of the sofa and open the case and pull out the guitar, it's the one Taylor taught me on and I fell in love with it.

"It's a Peavey JD-AG2 Acoustic Guitar with a classic barrel finish" I state as i admire the beautiful instrument, Traditional x-bracing; mahogany back, neck & sides; real wood binding around body, neck and headstock; 2-way adjustable truss rod. Its my baby and I adore it but not only because it was the first guitar I had but because of who gave it to me.

"I didn't realise you know so much about guitars Tabz?" Christian says in shock

"Taylor taught me, he taught me about them aswell as how to play them..."

"Play me a song Tab please" Taylor begs as I look back from to towards my guitar in my lap and I feel tears in my eyes

"I...i can't...I'm sorry" I whisper as I force my palms of my hands in to my eyes to keep the tears at bay, I feel a hand on my shoulder but I don't look up i can't let them see my cry over something silly

"Baby girl whats wrong?" Taylor says close to me as i break down, I throw my arms around him and cry in to his suit

"Taylor...I...I'm so sorry" I sniff "I can't play it I...I'd love too but..." i trail off

"But what sweetie?" Taylor says rubbing my back trying to sooth me "You forgot how to?" He jokes with me and I laugh lightly as I pull away from him, Christian is still stood by the kitchen island watching intently, Taylor stands up and whispers something to him, Christian looks at him while Taylor nods and signals to Gail for them to leave.

Christian walks over to me and sits down, he takes the guitar from me and studies it as he whistles through his teeth

"It's a beaut" He says smiling at me

"It is" I say whipping tears away

"Why can't you play it anymore?" Christian says confused "Its looks fine to me"

I laugh and shake my head at him

"You know nothing about guitars do you?" I ask with a smile and Christian shakes his head and looks a little embarrassed

"Hey its ok" I say as i cup Christians cheek "Its broken"

Christian frowns as he turns it over "Where?" he asks as i giggle

"Its missing 2 strings" I point out " Their not cheap to replace, ive been saving up but..." I shrug my shoulders as Christian raises an eyebrow at me.

"How much are they?" I shake my head

"I don't know" I answer honestly

"Well find out and il pay-" Christian as I cut him off

"NO!" I say as i get up

"Il pay for them" Christian says as he raises from the floor to follow me

"No Christian, I mean it" I say trying my best to stand my ground, I don't give a shit about his money, God i have savings in another bank account, I'm ok for money, my own money, i don't want his money, i just want him.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Christian asks running his fingers through his hair as i giggle

"It's the way I'm made" I smile as Christian walks closer to me and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips

"And i wouldn't have you any other way" He says kissing me again, i feel the pull in my stomach i need him, i want him. Christian must feel the same as he walks me back until I'm flush against the kitchen island, Christians hands roam my body before coming to settle on my ass, he picks me up and sits me on the work top.

"Christian" I breath

"What Tab? Tell me" Christian whispers against my neck

"I want you please... take me to bed" I beg

"My pleasure" He smiles as he picks me up and walks us in to his bedroom.

* * *

C POV

Our breathing has come back to normal as we lie in bed both happy and more relaxed, i turn on to my side so me and Tabz are facing each other smiling like a couple of idiots

"Tabz..." I ask quietly

"Yeah" She smiles

"Can I ask?" I say running my finger over her chest

"Yes" Tabi says softly no longer looking at me

"Ok um...what does it mean?" I ask hopefully as she smiles

"It's a C for Christian" Tabi says meeting my eyes again, I'm shocked I know I shouldn't be but I am.

"I had it done not long after we moved to Georgia, i had it done so you would always be close to my heart" she whispers shyly still staring at me

I take a deep breath and try to get the words out

"Tab... i don't want you to be my sub" I say as her brow furrows and her eyes go wide as she gets out of the bed

"Wh...where are you going?" I ask as panic starts setting in

"We've got to get ready for dinner at your parents, it's already 5.30pm" Tabi says over her shoulder without looking at me as she gathers her clothes and walks out the door.


	29. Fifty Shdes Of Forbidden Memories ch 29

AU: Hiya guys i know the last chapter was short but im getting back in to writing again so bear with me please this chapter is a lot longer :) i must warn you ELENA will be in this chapter please don't hate me everyone its important to the story... i promise there will be nothing between Elena and Christian... :) please only nice reviews please its taken me ages to get back in to writing, and people just being plain nasty will make me decide to quit all together :) anyway... ENJOY X

* * *

T POV

The drive to the Grey residence was set in uncomfortable silence, Christian and me didn't speak a word to each other, so he doesn't want me as his sub then what the hell does he want me to be?

As we pull up, Taylor opens my door and whispers

"You ok sweetie?"

I just give a weak nod as Christian comes around to me and takes my hand as we walk to the door

"Tab I'm sorry if i upset you earlier i really didn't intend too" Christian says as we get closer, i stay quiet as i feel like my voice won't work even if i wanted it to, i feel two long slender fingers gently lift my chin and I'm greeted by the most beautiful gray eyes I've ever seen, they look sad, lost even as he lowers his lips to mine for a tender kiss

"You know why is it every time i see you two your all over each other" Grace's voice interrupts us as Christian pulls away from me

"Hello mother you remember Tabitha" He says giving my hand a gentle squeeze

"Of course i remember Tabi" Grace says pulling me into a tender hug that i return

"Its been a long time" I whisper trying not to cry

"Too long sweetheart, too long" Grace whispers back as we break our hug and both wipe tears away, i only met Grace once but she's a very lovely woman and I've missed her greatly

"Well don't just stand there come in, ive got some people i'd like you to meet" She says ushering us in, Christian kisses his mother's cheek lovingly as she takes us through to the living room, the house is just how i remember it

"ROXI!" I hear a scream and see Mia bounding towards us, i let go of Christian's hand so i can catch Mia in a hug

"Hi Mia" I say laughing my God she's so full of energy im tired just looking at her

"Your even more beautiful than i remember" She says pulling me along

"Mia you saw me last night"

"Yeah well that was last night and i was drunk" She giggles and i shake my head

"Did you eat before you went out?" I ask as Mia rolls her eyes

"God you sound just like Christian, you defiantly belong together" Mia says as i turn to look at Christian who's smirking at me

"C'mon i want to introduce you to my brother, Elliott you remember Roxi?" Mia says

"Ah yes the HOT barmaid" Elliott laughs as i blush

"Elliott" Christian glares as he comes closer and pulls me towards him

"Hey chill bro, I'm just kidding" Elliott laughs with a playful wink in my direction and i swear i hear Christian growl

"Tabi this is my dad Carrick" Christian says as the older gentleman raises from the couch

"Nice to meet you Mr. Grey" I say extending my hand to him

"Tabi?" Carrick says in confusion

"Tabitha Stone Sir, Roxi is my stage name" I say as we shake, Carrick is still looking confused

"Tabi works in a club called 'Jumpin' Jacks', she works behind the bar but she also sings there" Christian says answering Carrick's unspoken question, i'm rewarded with a 'ahhh i get it' look from Carrick, just then Grace walks in to the room with a blonde haired woman talking and laughing happily

"Oh Tabi, I'd like to introduce you to a very good friend of mine, Elena Lincon, Elena this is Christian's beautiful girlfriend Tabi" Grace says beaming with pride as me and Elena lock eyes, Christian's grip on my hand tightens _shit!_

"It's lovely to meet you Elena" I say as sweetly as i can manage without being sick

"Likewise" Elena smiles falsely as we take our seats in the dinning room, me and Christian are on one side of the table, Mia is to my left as Elliott is to Christian's right, Grace sits on the other side of the table next to Mia, Carrick next to Elliott and the Botox Barbie is smack bang in front of me and Christian, his hand finds mine under the table as his thumb runs back and forth over my knuckles, i think it's an attempt to keep me calm but I'm going to do my best, i will not let her ruin our dinner with Christian's family.

The conversation is very friendly, we talk about work Christian is on the verge of sealing 'the deal of a life time' as he calls it, he's very passionate about his work, Mia asks me how me and Christian first met and the entire table goes quiet, i just say we went to school together but i had to move slightly after as my mom got a new 'job'.

"What job did your mother do Tabi?" The bitch asks as Christian squeezes my hand again

"She was in the entertainment industry" I say to her, well its sort of true she used to get paid to be a submissive, she was classed as 'entertainment' to her Doms.

"Oh" She says with a smirk... BITCH!

After dinner the wine is flowing and everyone's relaxed, well all except Christian, he's very tense as Elena fixes her gaze on him then me

"So Tabi, you haven't mentioned your father, what does he do?" Elena says glaring

"I wouldn't know Elena I've never met him" I say as calmly as possible

"Oh so were you a product of a one night stand then?" Elena laughs as all eyes fall to her and i laugh at her bare-faced cheek

"Oh i wish" i giggle as Elena narrows her eyes at me

"Elena i think you've had a little too much wine" Grace says as Elena downs her glass

"Not enough" She mutters under her breath as she stands up and thanks Grace and Carrick for dinner, she says goodbye to Elliott and Mia , i watch as she walks over to Christian and places a gentle kiss on his cheek, Christian tenses and simply says goodbye

"Tabitha, darling would you mind walking a tipsy woman out please?" Elena says placing her talloned hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze i look at her and smile

"Of course not" I say as i look back to Christian, he's wearing a wide eyes expression and he has my hand in a vise like grip, i stand up and lean down to Christian's ear and whisper

"Il be right back baby" I kiss his lips, pull my hand away and follow Elena out of the house, once we're near her car she spins on her heel and glares at me

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She spits at me

"I'm having dinner with my boyfriend and his family" I smirk

"Oh so that's your little game is it? To take him away from me?" She grits out

"He's not yours Elena, he's mine" I smile

Elena's hand clasps over my throat just under my chin, she pushes me against her car, i feel pain in my neck and its hard to breath

"Listen here you little bitch, Christian Grey was begging for me before you came on the scene and he'll be begging for me after you've gone, il be waiting for him to his senses and believe me he will" She says squeezing her hand tighter around me neck.

"Hey whats going on?" I look over Elena's shoulder to see Elliott coming out of the house, Elena squeeze one last time before throwing me away from the car, i stumble and land on my knees in front of Elliot who's jogging towards me.

"You've been warned" Elena yells as the car pulls off and disapears into the night.


	30. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 30

AU: WOW! 3rd chapter today :) I'm trying to make up for not updating in forever :)

* * *

C POV

I watch Tabi walk out behind Elena, oh this is not going to be good

"You ok sweetie?" My mother asks me with worried eyes

"Yeah mom" I say distracted whats taking her so long? All she had to do was walk her to her car and come back, she said she would be right back... shit! What if somethings happened i can't just sit here and wait.

"I'm just going to see where Tabi is" I say as i stand

"I'll go you stay here" Elliott glares at me, he doesn't like the fact that i don't see mom and dad that often and when i do i usually cut the visit short.

Elliott walks out of the room and out of the house, i start to relax a little knowing that nothing can really happen with Elliott there, surly Elena isn't stupid enough to pull something outside my mom and dads house? my dads a lawyer for Gods sake.

"TAYLOR!" I hear Elliott yell and with that I'm out of my seat and running down the hall, as i get to the front door i see Taylor carrying Tabi in his arms, she's not moving.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" I shout as Taylor lays Tabi down on the couch in the living room, Elliott starts to explain

"When i went outside to see what was keeping Tabi i saw Elena pinning her by the car with her hand around Tabi's throat, i asked what was going on as Elena threw Tabi in my direction and got in the car, she shouted "You've been warned" as she drove off, as i helped Tabi to her feet her legs gave out and she fainted that's when i saw Taylor driving up through the gates to collect you both".

I kneel next to Tabi and stroke her neck as i pull away i notice blood on my finger tips

"Mom she's bleeding" I panic as my mother comes over to look at Tabi, she gently moves Tabi's neck and i can see where the bloods coming from.

* * *

T POV

My head feels fuzzy, i open my eyes but have to close them again as the blight light hurts

"I think she's coming round" i hear a mans disjointed voice close to me then the sound of running, there's a hand gentle hand on my cheek

"Tabi? Tabz? can you hear me baby?" Christian?

I slowly open my eyes and it takes a little time for my vision to come back in to focus but when it does the first thing i see are a pair of mesmerizing Gray eyes i think I've dies and gone to heaven.

"Christian?" I whisper and I'm greeted with his famous hollywood smile, i smile back as i try to sit up but im slowly pushed back down

"Stay where you are" Christian says sternly as i roll my eyes, i am not a baby and i don't appreciate being treated like one either.

"Christian please i want to get up" I beg and he sighs and turns to Grace who is standing behind him

"Ok but slowly" She says as Christian holds is hands out to help me

Once I'm sitting my head starts to throb, Grace hands me some pain killers and a glass of water and i take them quickly, Mia, Elliott and Carrick are sat on the opposite couch, Grace pulls a tray over to the couch as she sits next to me i frown when i see all the other items on the tray, antiseptic wipes and two big plasters huh? what are those for?

"For your neck sweetie?" Grace says as i stare

"My neck?"

"Yes Tabi your bleeding" Grace says as i grit my teeth as she runs one of the wipes over my skin. SHIT! That stings

"Is it bad?" I ask

"No honey, can you remember what happened?" Grace asks as she continues to tend to my neck

"Yes Elena gripped me around the neck and then there was pain, what did she do?" I ask feeling exhausted

"Well from the looks of things I'd say she dug her nails in to you" Grace says finishing up

I look over to Christian who is pacing, once Grace has patched me up i thank her with a hug and slowly make my way over to Christian who is practically trying to pull his hair out, God he'll be bald as a coot before the nights out if he carries on, i stand directly in front of his pacing path as he turns at the other end of the room, we look at each other as he bolts for me, lifting me up into his arms, holding me tight so i can barely breath and kissing me over and over.

Once I'm back on the ground he speaks

"Oh Tabi i was so worried" He says bringing his forehead to rest on mine

"Christian I'm ok" I whisper

"No! Your not ok look at your neck" Christian says releasing and stepping away, leaving me cold without his touch

"Hey I'm fine" I try to reassure him

"NO YOUR NOT!" He bellows "I swear Tab when i get my hands on her" I cut him off as he runs his fingers through his hair

"You'll do nothing Christian" I glare

"You wanna bet" He says trying to walk past me, i cut in front of him and put my hands flat on his chest as the room gasps.


	31. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 31

C POV

"You wanna bet?" I say as i start to walk past Tabi, i don't give a shit anymore Elena doesn't lay a finger on her who the fuck does she think she is?

Tabi walks in front of me pressing her hands against my chest making me stop, the room gasps and then falls silent, i look around to see Mia, Elliott, my mom and dad have all frozen, all with their hands to their mouths. I see Tabi look around in confusion, of course she doesn't know I've never tensed with Tabi, ive never told her that i don't like being touched.

I smile down at Tabi who is still looking very confused, my mother has tears in her eyes as i look at her

"I told you... I told you mom" I say excitedly

"I know darling i just didn't believe you" Mom sniffs, Mia comes running over to me pulling me into a hug and instantly tense, i can't help it for some reason i don't tense with Tabi but i do with my family... I'm going to have to talk to Flynn

Mia pulls away and i relax, i look down at my baby sister i love so much and see the hurt and pain in her eyes

"Sorry Mia" I whisper as she nods in understanding as she changes the subject

"Christian can you play the piano for me please" Mia whines i know its her way of telling me we're ok about the whole touching thing

"Yes ok Mia il play for you" I smile as she squeals and runs off to the piano

"Please can you play this for me" Mia says handing me the music book, the page is open at Hero by Mariah Carey, i close my eyes and remember playing it the day i met Tabi, her beautiful voice filled my ears as i open my eyes

"Il play under one condition..." I say as i look towards Tabi

"What?" Mia groans

"That Tabi sings"

* * *

T POV

"That Tabi sings" Christian says with a wink in my direction

Me? Why would Christian want me to sing? What song is it? I look at Christian who is smiling at me patting the seat next to him.

"Oh yes Tabi, please" Mia begs clasping her hands together like she's about to drop to her knees any second, she would be a bloody good actress but a crap sub, i get up from my seat next to Grace on the couch and walk over to the piano and sit next to Christian

"What we doing then?" i ask

"This" Christian says simply and points to the sheet music in front of us with a smirk, i lean over him to read 'HERO- MARIAH CAREY' I look back at Christian who is still smirking at me, with a wink of his beautiful eye he starts playing and on my cue i open my mouth and sing.

I close my eyes and remember that fateful day, i remember the beautiful way Christian's fingers danced across the keys, the way i would catch him mouthing the words along with me, the way he would stare at me before and after the song...

I open my eyes half way to see Christian smiling at me, His fly automatically over the keys while his stunning gray eyes lock mine, a sexy sly smile plays on his lips as i continue to sing, i see Mia out of the corner of my eye bouncing around trying to get Elliott to dace while Carrick is dancing with Grace. I really want to giggle at Mia but i can't till ive finished the song, Christian still plays beautifully, with so much passion, so much do i dare say it love.

As the song comes to an end the silence in the room is deafening, Christian turns to me and pills my chin towards him and kisses my lips.

"Oh my God Tabi that was amazing, you should have your own record deal" Mia gushes as me and Christian pull away from each other, SHIT! I haven't told Christian about the record deal...

"Tabz whats wrong?" Christian notices my frown

"Um... ive got something to tell you" I whisper not making eye contact with him

"What? Tabitha tell me" Oh shit full name

"I...i've been offered a recording contract" I manage to choke out, Mia pulls me away from Christian and crushes me in a hug, i'm then passes around to hug the rest of the Greys as they all congratulate me with hugs and kisses, I glance nervously over at Christian who is still sitting at the piano flicking through the music book, he starts to play again when he's found something suitable, he lets out a breath but doesn't look towards me. Why would he? earlier he said he didn't want me as a sub so why would he care?

"Where is it?" Grace asks

"Newyork" I say as Christian stops playing.


	32. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 32

C POV

"New York" I hear Tabi say and not only do my fingers stop but my heart does too, She can't go to New York, She can't leave me.

I turn to see my family chatting lovingly with Tabi, She's become such a huge part of me again in such a short space of time, we only saw each other again on Wednesday but I can't believe that in 3 short days she's become everything to me again, I have to tell her how I feel, I have to tell her I love her.

I stand up and walk over to Tabi and reach for her hand.

"Right shall we go? It's getting late" I say as Tabi gives me a weak smile and a small nod.

We say our goodbyes to my family and make our way out to Taylor who's waiting in the SUV, The drive home is quiet, I hold Tabi's hand for reassurance that she's still beside me. The elevator ride is silent still, As we walk in to the penthouse I go straight for the wine I'm going to need something to have this conversation.

"Wine?" I ask holding up a bottle, A simple nod from Tabi is all I receive.

I move over to the couch where Tabi is sitting and place her wine glass on the table, I sit down next to her and take a large drink of wine, I'm so fucking nervous I've never had feelings like this for anyone before not even _Elena_..._Elena_ just the thought of the bitch makes my blood boil, no matter what Tabi says I will deal with _Elena._

"Christian?" Tabi whispers as my focus comes back, God even with a big white bandage covering most of her neck she still looks beautiful.

"Tabi" I take her hands in mine I'm going do this and I'm going to do it now

"Tabi...there's something I need to say..." I trail off, Tabi looks at me with those big beautiful worried eyes.

"What is it Christian?" She says, I take a deep calming breath

"Tabi...I..." I'm interrupted by Tabi's cell ringing in her bag

"Sorry" She mutters quietly, She pulls out the horrible moment destroying device

"It's the agency" She says frowning at the screen

"You should take it" I say as she gets out and walks out of the room.

I sag back against the couch, how can I be so selfish? I can't ask her to give up her dream for what? Me? Yeah great why the hell would she want to stay here with me when she can go and live the dream she's hand all her life? Maybe I should stop being such a selfish bastard and just let her go.

I close my eyes and think back to a life before Tabi, I was an out of control teenager, raging hormones, being afraid of anyone's touch, even under _Elena's_ tutoring I still felt like there was something missing. And then I met Tabi, She called to me like a siren, A beautiful, Precious jewel I felt I needed to protect and cherish, I think I fell for Tabi that day. I made love to her on my childhood bed... I finally felt whole.

Then we were forced apart and I lost it once again, When she left she took my heart with her, _Elena's_ teaching's became more harsh but I welcomed the physical pain to the pain that constantly throbbed in my empty chest.

Then we were brought back together, Call it fate, Call it luck, Or what ever you want to call it but the first time I kissed her again after all those lonely years of working, beating and fucking I finally felt whole again. The girl who haunted my dreams finally came back to me and now I've got to decide whether to let her fly away from me again to do something she's always wanted to do and be happy or trap, capture and cage her to stay with me. I love her but I can't do that to her, I have to tell her to go... to be happy.

Tabi comes back in to the room as I open my eyes, She's smiling a huge dazzling smile... I guess it was good news.

"Sorry about that, What did you want to tell me?" Tabi says sitting back down next to me, God she looks so much happier now... I know what I've got to do.

* * *

T POV

"I think you should take the chance, Sign the contract" Christian says as he smiles at me

"Really?" Is all I can say

"Yeah, I think it would be a brilliant for you.. do it"

I stare at Christian is disbelief, He seemed so upset when I mentioned it at his parent's house... I guess I've got my answer.

"Ok" I say with a big fake smile, It's a good job I'm such a good liar, On the outside I look happy and excited but on the inside I've already broken.

"Here's to your new career in New York" Christian say's with a smile while he raises his glass, I follow and we clink, I need a reason to get time on my own, I touch my neck and wince.

"Are you ok?" Christian asks in concern

"Yeah just tired and sore" I say quietly

"Come" He says extending his hand, He leads me to 'my room', Christian hands me a glass of water and some pills Grace gave us before we left, I take them quickly and change for bed.

Christian settles in bed pulling me close to him

"Shhhh sleep beautiful" He whispers in to my hair and within a matter of minuets im faking sleep, I feel soft lips on my shoulder and the bed shifts, the door opens and closes gently.

I open my eyes to see I'm finally alone, that's when my emotions overflow and I sob silently in to my pillow.


	33. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch33

T POV

I wake early the next morning, the sun is just raising over a sleepy Seattle, I crawl out of bed and drag my ass to the bath room, as I pass the mirror I gasp, I look like shit, my eyes are red and puffy from crying half the night, my face is covered in last nights tears and my hair is a complete mess.

I sigh and start the shower, I relish the feeling of the burning hot water against my skin, after last night I just feel numb so this helps even if it just for a little while.

Once I'm out, dry and dressed in my comfortable clothes, dark jeans, white vest top and black converse trainers I take another look at my reflection I don't look to bad now.

I dry and straighten my hair and apply some eyeliner...there that's better.

I silently slip down stairs and I'm thankful that no ones up yet, I spot my guitar sat on top of Christian's piano, I grab it and make my way to the balcony, once I'm settled I start to play I relax straight away, I travel away as my fingers pluck the strings.

I hear a gentle knock on the glass door after God knows how long, I stop playing to see Taylor standing there, he's dressed in a tracksuits, trainers and he's covered in sweat.

"Whats this non uniform day" I smirk as he looks down at himself and cracks a smile

"No Tabi I've been for a run with Mr. Grey" Taylor smirks back

"Well I hope your going for a shower cause you stink" I say as I sniff and laugh

Taylor comes over and grabs me rubbing his sweaty hands over me, he starts to give me a bone crushing hug and I scream

"TAYLOR GET OFF ME!" I laugh

We are thankfully interrupted when we here

"TAYLOR"

Taylor jumps away from me and straightens up as Christian steps out on to the balcony

"Yes Sir" Taylor's back to being a pro in the blink of an eye

"John will be here in 30 minuets" Christian says

"Very good Sir, il just go shower" Taylor says quickly as he walks back in

I can't hold the laugh I've been suppressing any longer I let it out as Christian comes to my side

"What are you doing out here?" He asks as my giggles fade away

"Just playing" I smile

Christian pulls me in to a hug and kisses me on the cheek

"You smell like Taylor" He states as I get up

"Yeah he decided to hug me while he was all sweaty, I'm going for a shower" I say as I pull away

"Don't take too long there's someone I want you to meet" Christian says as I blow him a kiss and walk back upstairs to take another shower.

After a lovely long shower and extra time to make sure I look presentable for Christian to show off to his guest I walk back down stairs and I'm greeted with Gail and Taylor sneaking kisses in the kitchen, I do my best not to be spotted but Gail must see me as she pushes Taylor away I can't help but giggle at the frustrated expression on his face.

"I see your clean now" I laugh

"Yes" Taylor smirks still looking annoyed

"Hey where's Christian?" I ask to change the subject

"He's in his office" Gail says as she gathers 2 cups of coffee and puts them on a tray with milk and sugar

"Il take that Gail"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course" I say as I take the tray from her

"You two need some alone time, Taylor looks like he's going to explode if I interrupt anymore of your time" I laugh as I start walking away from them, Gail holds her hand over her mouth to stop her giggling as Taylor shoots me daggers, I just smile and wiggle my eyebrows as he laughs and shakes his head.

I knock on Christian's office and wait to hear someone

"Come in"

As I enter I see Christian sat behind his desk talking to another gentleman, both men stand when I approach and Christian plants a gentle kiss in my hair

"Tabi I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, John this is Tabitha Stone, Tabi this is John Flynn" Christian says as I look at the man he's introducing me too.

My eyes go wide and my hands start to shake, I drop the tray and the cups smash on the floor, hot coffee goes everywhere.

"Tabi are you ok?" Christian asks as I stare at Flynn, He still looks the same, same brown hair, darks eyes, a little older obviously but still the same man I remember.

"Yeah...Yes i'm ok" I say weakly to Christian as Taylor comes in to the office.

"Everything ok Sir?" He asks as Gail follows cleaning up my mess

"Yes Taylor everything is fine.. I think" Christian mutters with a confused look.

I glance down at my dress and realise I'm covered in scalding coffee, I feel my cheeks heat from shock and embarrassment, I back away from the two men and make my way out of the office as calmly as I can without running as fast as my legs can carry me.

"Tabi?" Christian calls worriedly

"I..I'm just going to change" I say without looking back

Once i'm out of sight i run to for the elevator and i'm gone.


	34. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch 34

C POV

_What the hell was that all about?_ Tabi completely freaked when she saw Flynn, She's never been like that before...

"Christian? Did you hear what I just said?" Flynn say's

"Huh? What?" I blink

"I said was Tabi the young woman you were telling me about?"

"Yes... John do you and Tabi know each other?" I ask feeling unsettled

"Yes Christian, Me and Tabi know each other"

I stare at Flynn in shock

"Where? When?" I frown

Before Flynn can continue there's a loud knock on the door

"Yes!" I shout

"Sir" Taylor comes in breathlessly

"What is it Taylor"

"It's Tabi Sir, We can't find her" Taylor states with worried eyes

"WHAT?" I shout

"We can't find her Sir, The CCTV shows her running for the elevator when she came out of here"

I run my fingers through my hair, Why would she run? What the hell has gone on to make her so scared to just leave?

"Track her cell Taylor, Find her" I grit out

"I can't Sir, She left it in her room, We've got no way of Tracking her but I think I might know where she's gone" Taylor say's as we walk out of my office towards the elevator.

"Flynn you've got some explaining to do" I glare as he sighs

"Where are we going Taylor?" I ask as we exit the elevator and walk towards the SUV

"The North Cemetery Sir" Taylor say's as he starts the car

Why would she be in cemetery?

* * *

Taylor POV

I hope I'm right about Tabi being at the cemetery, She looked so upset, So scared when she left, that's not my Tabi, Not the young woman I know, The Tabi I know is strong and fierce and doesn't react like this but she did so what the fuck is going on in her head to make her act like this?

The boss is flipping his lid at Flynn, The man cannot give you any information about a patient Grey what part of... WAIT PATIENT? Tabi was a patient of Dr. Flynn's? Why?

As we drive through the busy Seattle streets it starts to poor down and Tabi's only wearing a dress and flats, She's going to be soaked she didn't even take a coat...

Eventually we pull up outside the cemetery and I turn to look at Grey,

"Sir I think it might be best if I talk to her first, That is if she is here" _God please let her be here_

Grey looks at me with eyes full of emotion, God he really does love her, He simply nods his head.

I go to leave the car when I here

"Taylor"

"Sir?" I say as I turn back around

"Call me if you find her please" He say's quietly

"Of course Sir"

And with that I leave the car, I walk around a retrieve a large umbrella and a spare coat out of the boot and make my way in to the cemetery

"Please be here Tabi... Please" I whisper to myself.

* * *

Tabi POV

I feel drops on my face, I look up at the sky.

"Huh, Rain" I whisper, I take a look at my surroundings, I'm sat on the cold ground in front of a grave, the name reads 'SEAN STONE'.

My Uncle, My beloved Uncle Sean is buried her, It's the only place I feel close to him, Cause in retrospect he is here... No that's to morbid even for me.

I trace my Uncles name with my finger wiping the heavy rain drops away, I'm soaked to the bone, My hair is dripping, My dress is sticking to me and I feel goosebumps covering my skin, As I take my hand away I notice red is now smudged over the gold lettering, I glance at my right hand and realize I have a large open wound across my palm, I look down to see a large shard of glass sticking out of the ground next to me, The point of it is covered with blood, I must have cut my hand on it when I sat down.

I take another look at my hand and watch the bright red warm blood as it pours from the gaping wound, it pools down my hand to my wrist and down my arm to my elbow, It turns a lighter colour as the rain dilutes it.

I don't know why I do it but I reach down and pull the glass from the ground, I lift it up to eye level and stare through it, I can faintly see a rainbow of colours.

"Tabi?"

I whip my head up to see Taylor standing a few feet in front of me, He's holding a huge umbrella above his head and he has a coat in the crook of his arm.

"Tabi, What are you doing here?" He asks

"I could ask you the same question" I say as I glare at him

"I came to find you, You just left, We were worried about you"

"Well as you can see I'm fine" I mumble looking away from Taylor and back to the grave stone

"You don't look fine Tabz, Your bleeding"

"I said I'm fine" I say through gritted teeth

"Tabi..." Taylor sighs taking a step forward

"DON'T" I snap "Taylor just go... leave me alone..." I say coldly.

I love him,with all my heart, He's the only family I have left but i just want to left alone.

Taylor sighs, turns and walks back in the direction he came, I'm alone again but I know I won't be alone for long.


	35. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories ch35

C POV

I watch the rain fall harder, It must be freezing for someone without a coat, Someone who didn't have the thought to take one before running...Someone like Tabi.

Taylor has been gone a while now, I wonder if he's found her, But if he has then why hasn't he phoned me?

Just then the driver's door opens and Taylor sits down

"Well" I snap

"I've found her" He says quietly

He's found her? Then where the fuck is she?

"Where?" Is all I say as I'm trying not to strangle him

"She's sat in there in front of her Uncle Sean's grave" He say's sadly

"Is she ok? Why are you not with her?"

"She doesn't look ok, She told me to go, To leave her alone, She's..." Taylor trails off looking away

"She's what Taylor?" I say with panic

He doesn't answer, Just shakes his head and refuses to look at me

"For Gods sake Taylor, TELL ME!" I shout

I'm so angry I almost miss what he says

"She's bleeding" He whispers

Before I realise what I'm doing I'm out of the car sprinting through the gates to the cemetery, i frantically look around to see if I can see her but it's no use the cemetery is fucking huge, One of the biggest in Seattle, I hear footsteps behind me, The rain and wind hit me, I was right it is fucking freezing.

"Christian" As I slow I see Taylor and Flynn running towards me

"Sir" Taylor says passing me the umbrella, I shake my head if Tabi is freezing cold and soaking wet out here then I might as well be too.

"Where is she Taylor?" I say feeling more lost than ever

"Near the back Sir, but I think it might be best for Dr. Flynn to talk to her first" He says turning to look at Flynn

"I don't think that's a good idea" I say as I glare towards Flynn, I'm still no closer to finding out how Tabi and Flynn know each other and it's really pissing me off

"Christian, Tabitha may need to speak to someone, I understand you don't know how we know each other but it's Tabitha's decision to tell you, And I'm sure she will when she's ready" Flynn says

"Fine but me and Taylor will be close by" I cave, I don't care I just want to make sure she's safe and to convince her to come home with me.

Taylor leads us to the back of the cemetery, This place is beautiful even with the weather, Solid marble grave stones, Gold lettering with amazing heartfelt words from loved ones who miss them deeply.

Taylor stops us and motions to Flynn to go on while he leads me to a bench close by, close enough to listen but not close enough for us to see them.

* * *

T POV

"Tabitha"

I know that voice, That warm trusting voice who led me back to them like a lamb to the slaughter.

"What do you want" I ask calmly

"I'd like to talk if that's ok with you" Flynn asks as he steps closer

"I haven't got the cash for one of your sessions, Sorry Doc" I glare at the stone in front of me while Flynn laughs _British bastard!_

"This one's on the house" He says stepping closer as I sigh

"Seriously Flynn, Go bother someone else with you psycho babble bullshit and leave me in peace" I turn to look at him and I catch him smirking at me

"Ahhh I see your way with hasn't changed, How longs it been?"

"9 years" I mumble

"9 years? Wow" He says

"Flynn you act like we're old friends, As far as I'm concerned we're far from that" I sigh

"We used to be" Flynn adds quietly

"That's before you thought it was your moral duty to do what you did" I grit out

My anger is starting to boil over, What will it take for people to leave me the fuck alone?

"I'm sorry Tabi I didn't know"

I explode, I jump to my feet and stalk towards him

"Yes you did, I told you, I begged you but you still let them get me, You still let them take me back, You let them hurt me, Beat me, Abuse me! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I scream as I puncture each word with a punch to his chest.

Flynn allows me to take the last 25 years of anger, Pain and fear out on him, As my anger disolves I collapse in to his arms and sob in to his chest.

* * *

C POV

"Yes you did, I told you, I begged you but you still let them get me, You still let them take me back, You let them hurt me, Beat me, Abuse me! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

I hear Tabi scream I stand up and begin to walk over as Taylor grabs my arm trying to make me stay put, I can't take it anymore, Listening to Tabi's sods is heartbreaking.

I wretch my arm out of Taylor's grasp and walk towards Tabi, jealously becomes me when I see Flynn holding Tabi, My Tabi in his arms, Flynn notices me as I come to a stop, He whispers something to Tabi, As she looks up her beautiful blue, Bloodshot, Teary eyes focus on me, She smiles at me.

She let's go of Flynn and runs in to my waiting arms, The force knock us to the ground, My suit squelches in to the mud, I'm pretty sure it's ruined but I couldn't care less, I have Tabi back in my arms that's all I care about.

"Christian" Tabi whispers in to my chest

"Yeah Tabz" I whisper back as I tilt her head up

" I love you" She says as she stares in to my eyes

I'm frozen, She loves me? She just said she loves me, I feel like the happiest man on the planet, As I look back down to Tabi to say the same 3 words back to her I notice her eyes have closed.

She's not moving, She feels like a block of ice in my arms.

"Tabi" I say as I try to wake her

"Tabi!" I say louder as I look her over, She's as white as a sheet, Her lips are turning blue and she's covered in blood.

There's a huge nasty looking gash on her right hand that shows no signs that the bleeding is stopping, Panic fills me as I try in vain to wake her

"TABI!" I shout but there's nothing

I look around desperatly for Taylor or Flynn but see neither... _SHIT!_


	36. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch36

AN: Hiya guys, Oh my God thankyou so much for the brilliant reviews, I love each and every one of you truly... Right here is the next part of the story from Christian's POV :) x

* * *

C POV

The rain beats down on us while I do my best to get us off the ground with Tabi in my arms, She's a dead weight against me.

"Taylor" I call I'm desperate now, Fear grips me and it's making me useless, It's making me weak, I need to get Tabi to the hospital, I need to save her.

As I finally get to my feet I see Taylor and Flynn making their way back to the car

"JASON!" I scream as I run with Tabi in my arms, The ground is soggy and it dislogdges underneath me, I fall to my knees and Tabi hits the ground with a solid thump.

"Tabi? TABI!" Taylor screams as he and Flynn run toward me

"Taylor we need to get her to the hospital NOW!" I yell in pure fear

Taylor takes Tabi from me as Flynn helps me up, we run to the car

"Give her to me" I rush as I grab a blanket from under the seat and wrap it around Tabi, Taylor slides her on to my lap, I hold her close, I need to keep her safe, warm and alive.

Taylor gets us to the hospital in record time, I'm sure he's broken more than a dozen road laws but I don't give a fuck at the moment.

We burst through the doors and the first person I lay my eyes on is the woman who saved my life all those years ago... The angel in white, My mother.

"Mom!" I shout

As she turns her eyes go wide and she starts shouting orders, They bring out a bed and I lay Tabi down, My mother touches Tabi's hand and gasps

"Christian she's freezing, What happened?"

As we walk quickly through the hospital I recall everything I know to her, Tabi's soon taken from me and we are ushered in to the waiting room, I can't sit still, I pace uncontrollably, I run my fingers through my wet hair and wait... I am not a patient man, I hate waiting, But waiting is all I have at my disposal at the moment.

* * *

What feels like years later but is just a few hours we are all still waiting for news on Tabi, My father, Elliott and Mia have joined us, Mia called Tabi's phone she was trying to arrange something for my birthday next month and wanted Tabi's help, She wanted to know where Tabi was and why I was answering her phone so I told her that Tabi was in the hospital and she took it upon herself to invite the rest of the family for a gathering... I sound so ungrateful that my family are here supporting me and Tabi but I just don't have it in me to be grateful, I just want Tabi... She's all I want, She's all I need.

My brother comes to my side while I continue to stare out of the hospital window, The rain is still pissing it down and the dark sky matches my mood.

"You ok bro?" Elliott asks in a hushed voice

"I've been better" I shrug

"She'll be ok Christian, She's a tough one" He say's with a pat to my shoulder

"I know she is but she's so stubborn" I sigh as I drag my hands over my face, It's true Tabi is stubborn and reckless but she loves me... Holy shit! She loves me, SHE. LOVES. ME and I never got to say it back to her, I need her more than blood, Bone or muscle, She keeps me alive, She's the reason I breath, Blink, Feel...LOVE, She's my everything and she doesn't even know.

The door slowly opens and my mother walks in, She looks exhausted, Like she hasn't slept in days.

"Christian, Can I have a quiet word with you sweetheart?" She says with pain in her eyes

Everyone gets up from their seats mumbling something about being in the café and coming to find them when I'm ready, Honestly I'm not listening I'm trying to use all my focus, all my energy to keep upright... It's bad... Somethings happened...

"Taylor" I choke out

"Sir" He answers looking back from the door

"Can you stay? Please" I beg, I don't want to be on my own to hear this and Taylor is Tabi's Godfather I'm sure he wants to be here.

"Of course Sir" He says coming to sit next to me, My mother looks confused

"Taylor is Tabi's God father " I mumble as she looks at Taylor in shock

"Ok...Well" She sighs

"Mom" I whisper "What is it?"

My mother takes the seat to the left of me as Taylor sits in the right

"Tabi lost a lot of blood, She tore quite a few veins and nerves in her hand that's why she was bleeding so much, We took her to surgery and stitched her up but we won't know if she has any nerve damage until she wakes up..." My mother stops and looks towards the window, She can't maintain eye contact something else is wrong, There's something she's not telling us.

"Mom? There's more isn't there"

"Christian, Tabi has severe Hypothermia, The next 48 hours are critical... I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm so sorry" She says as tears fall down her cheeks, I stare at her in shock, Tabi... My Tabi could die in the next 48 hours, NO , NO, NO she can't I've only just got her back in my life I can't lose her.

I feel tears in my eyes as I turn to my right, Taylor my head of security, My 'best friend' as Mia would say, One of the strongest men I know is looking at me with silent tears streaming down his face.

"Is there anything we can do?" He asks as I look back to my mother

She wipes her eyes with a tissue and sighs

"All we can do at the moment is keep her warm, Hope and pray boys I'm so sorry, I have to get back il show you to her room when your ready" My mother says with a hand on my cheek and then a squeeze of Taylors shoulder and then she's gone.

"Would you like me to go tell everyone Sir?" Taylor sniffs breaking the deathly silence, I swallow hard and shake my head

"No Taylor il do it" I say wiping my eyes

"Are you sure Sir?"

"Yes I'm sure, You go sit with her, Your her family, She needs you" I get up

"Your family too Sir"

"No Taylor I'm not" I shake my head, As I grasp the door handle I hear

"Christian!"

I stop and slowly turn to see Taylor standing, glaring at me with his fists clenched

"She loves you" He says slowly

"I know, She told me before... Before..." I can't do this I have to get out of here.

I open the door but I'm pushed back up against it and spun around quickly to se a very angry Taylor in front of me.

"Tabi loves you, She told me, She always has and always will, My God daughter is lying in a hospital bed fighting for her life and you don't even want to go see her" Taylor spits

"I do want to see her, I love her!" I spit back

"Then why don't you?" He yells

"BECAUSE I'M SCARED!" I yell

"I'm scared Jason is that what you want to fucking hear? I'm so scared, So FUCKING petrified because I love her so God damn much that if I go in to that room and see her like that she might not ever open her eyes again, I'm petrified that she'll never laugh again, Smile again, Kiss me again... Or whisper that she loves me so I can say it fucking back, I've just found her again and I'm so fucking scared that she could die"

I break down in to body wrenching sobs, Taylor comes to my side on the floor crying too, We hold each other and cry for the beautiful, Amazing woman who may never light our hearts again.


	37. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch37

C POV

Five minuets, Five fucking minuets...

That's how long I've been stood outside Tabi's room, I can't bring myself to go in.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look around to see my mother standing next to me

"Would you like m to come in with you sweetheart?"

"Please if you wouldn't mind"

I take a deep breath as she pushes the door open, The room itself is very nice, Not your standard hospital room I made sure Tabi would have the best possible, She has her own private room with en suit, Plasma TV, ect, I don't really focus on the decor or the furniture, My eyes go to the only thing in the room that matters to me.

Tabi, She looks so small by herself in such a big bed, She's covered in foil blankets to keep her warm, She's got IV line attached to her aswell as various monitors heart rate, Temputure ect.

I let out a broken sob and walk over to her side, I sit down and take her left hand as her right its heavily bandaged, I feel a fresh lot of tears coming as I gaze at her, Her skin in still very pale and cold, Her beautiful lips are still a deathly blue.

"Oh Tabi" I choke as the tears spill over, My mother comes to my side and strokes her long fingers through my hair, I let go of Tabi's hand and wrap my arms around my mother and cling to her for dear life.

* * *

A couple of hours pass and there's still no change in Tabi's condition, She's still cold... The longer she stays like this the faster my hopes of her getting better fade.

It's now late afternoon when there's a small knock on the door, I lift my head to see my dad, Elliott and Mia standing in the door way

"Is it ok if we come in bro?" Elliott whispers and I nod, Elliott and Mia sit on the right side of Tabi while my father joins me

"Any news yet son?" My dad asks quietly as I shake my head

We sit in silence for a long while, Know one knows what to say or do, We just watch Tabi hoping, Praying for a miracle but so far non of my prayers have been answered

* * *

I wake to realise I'm alone in Tabi's room, It's dark outside, I check my Blackberry to see its gone 9 pm.

The door opens and Taylor enters carrying a bag

"Sir" He says when he see's I'm awake

"Taylor please call me Christian" I reply sounding very tired

"I brought you a change of clothes and Gail sent some food...Christian" He smiles as he sets the bags on the table and starts routing through one of them, He pulls out a container and fork and passes it to me, I open it and smile, Gail and her famous food.

"Mac and cheese" I smile at Taylor who simply smiles back

* * *

"Damn your woman's a good cook" I say as I finish the tub, I feel slightly better as I am no longer hungry.

"Has there been any change?" Taylor asks

"Not a thing" I sigh

"She'll get better, She's a strong woman" He says as he strokes her cold cheek

"I know, But she's so very impulsive, Why did she run? Why sit in a cemetery while its pissing down? She's stupid, So fucking stupid" I say as I lower my head on to her cold hand

"Christian, It's the way she's always been, Even when she was a child she would do something and not care for the consequences, She's reckless and impulsive but she's got a huge heart aswell, She's strong willed...Too strong willed to let this beat her, Just have a little faith" Taylor says as I look up at him, I nod in agreement I know he's right I just need to believe she will get through this and be ok.

We both turn our attention back to the ice-cold sleeping beauty on her bed who's captured my heart.

* * *

Taylor leaves an hour or so later, It's getting late and I know he felt torn between staying with Tabi or going home to Gail but in the end I ordered him to go, To see Gail and to get some sleep.

"Christian it's late" My mother says as she comes in

"I'm not leaving her mom so don't even bother trying to make me" I mumble half asleep resting my head on Tabi's bed, I turn to look at her and she's smirking at me?

"I prepared for something like this, Seems like Tabi isn't the only stubborn one in your relationship, Why do you think Tabi is in such a big bed? Taylor brought you some nightwear now get changed and get in to bed it's late" She says like I'm five again and it's passed my bed time.

I smile and get up out of the chair I feel like I've been sitting in for years, I give my mom, My absolutely wonderful thoughtful mother a kiss on her cheek and she smiles and leaves.

I change and crawl in to bed with Tabi, She feels so cold but I welcome just being next to her, I close my eyes and drift off praying that tomorrow is a better day.


	38. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch38

AN: Hiya guys sorry if some of you found the last chapter a bit boring as most of us probably know there's not a lot to do in hospital's when a loved one is ill... Anyway I just want to give a huge thankyou to my NO.1 reviewer **Angela76**, With every new chapter i post she gives me the most amazing reviews :) x x x Anyway back to the story...

* * *

C POV

"CHRISTIAN...CHRISTIAN!" I hear someone whisper as I slowly drag my eyes open

"CHRISTIAN WAKE UP!" A harsh scold enters my ears and I'm immediately awake

"What? What is it?" I ask as my heart races

"Christian, Tabi's temperature's risen, She's getting warmer" My mother beams at me as I turn to look at Tabi, Her lips are slowly turning back to normal and she doesn't feel like ice anymore, I feel so happy I want to jump up and down.

"It's good new sweetie but she's still got a long way to go, She's not out of the woods just yet" She says as I nod, I can't keep the smile from my face, I know she's got a way to go but it's the best news we've had since she arrived.

"What time is it?" I ask seeing the sun fully up, It must be like 11 am or something

"After 2" My mom says with a flippant wave of her hand as she checks Tabi's chart

Holy shit! I've been asleep since 16 hours...

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" I demand

"You looked to peaceful darling I didn't have the heart to and the longer you slept the higher Tabi's temperature rose, She knows your close sweetheart" She says with a grin

I look back to Tabi and kiss her for head, If staying in bed all day will get her better then I'm not moving, Il even tie a knot in it if I need the bathroom.

"Thanks mom"

"What for?" She frowns

"For letting me sleep here, I can't remember the last time I slept for so long" I smirk as I stretch

"Christian it was lovely to see you so relaxed, Everyone said so when they came for visits and saw the two of you"

"You mean people have been in to see Tabi while ive been asleep?" I ask embarrassed

"Yes, Taylor, Gail, Elliott, Mia, Your father... Oh and Dr. Flynn, They've all been in to see Tabi and they've all seen you asleep" She jokes as I feel my cheeks heat

"Thanks for that mom" I roll my eyes at her

"Il be back in a little while" She laughs "Stay in bed" She says sternly

"Yes Mam" I laugh with a salute as she smirks and leaves.

* * *

The rest of the day comes and goes, Tabi's temperature rises ever so slightly every now and again, Everytime I kiss her she feels a little bit warmer.

Taylor and Gail came back in baring gifts, Another change of clothes and more of Gail's wonderful food, Taylor sat on Tabi's bed while I went to the bathroom, I know I said I'd tie a knot in it but it's starting to fucking hurt.

Once I had finished me and Taylor swapped places, I've finally got Taylor to call me Christian without having to remind him now the only person I've got to work on is Gail, They've both worked for me for years, Taylor is family to Tabi, Gail is with Taylor, Tabi loves me, I love Tabi... I guess that makes us sort of like a family I suppose I know Tabi would like it so I'm doing it for her.

* * *

By the time family have finished their visits its dark again, Sitting around doing nothing all day is very boring but im just happy im near Tabi.

As I get ready for bed my mother comes back in to inform me that Tabi's temperature is almost back to normal, all we have to do is wait for her body to re energies and wake up, I can't help but feel hopeful that she may wake soon, It's the last thought in my head as I cuddle up to her and close my eyes.

* * *

During the night I wake up, I look at my Blackberry its 3 am, Too much sleep is wrecking havoc with my body clock, I role over to look at the beautiful girl next to me.

I stare at her for what seems like eternity, She looks so beautiful with a strip of moon light drifting through the window, Oh what I'd give to see those amazing eyes sparkle again, Or see that stunning smile, I beg that she will wake soon, I beg that the gods give me a second chance with this angle and I swear on everything I have that I will not fuck it up this time round, I will give this vision, This Aphrodite my heart, My body and my soul and I will be there for her until the end of time.

I sigh as I feel my eyes getting heavy, I lean over to give her a sweet good night kiss on her now warm lips and I swear I hear a small moan, The kiss becomes deeper when a mouth opens and a small warm, Wet, Beautiful toung enters my mouth, The kiss is full of passion as we both pull forgetting that we need to breathe.

"Christian"

"Yeah Tabz"

"I love you"

"I love you to baby"

Tabi snuggles in to my chest and I wrap my arms around her, I feel like im floating, If this is a dream please forever let me stay asleep, Nothing else matters but us.

"Christian"

"Yeah Tabz"

"Go to sleep"

I smile as I kiss the top of her head

"I love you" I whisper

"I love you more" Is the last thing I hear before falling back in to darkness, Happy with the love of my life in my arms.


	39. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch39

AN: Morning guys, I'm so glad lots of people liked the last couple of chapters, I'm back with a new chapter for all you lovely people today... Hope your all baring the cold where ever you are... It's bloody freezing here in Stoke on Trent :( Anyway hope you all enjoy guys... Samii x

* * *

T POV

I feel warm, Very warm, The heat is almost unbearable, I try to move but it's like im weighed down.

I open my eyes and a smile instantly covers my face, Christian is lying next to me, Facing me, He look's so peaceful, His copper locks are a gorgeous tangled mess, His face looks so relaxed and I have such an overwhelming urge to reach out and stroke the fallen hairs from his forehead.

As I lift my right hand I frown, My right hand is bandaged and my fingers feel strange.

I gently slip out of bed as not to wake Christian and pad to the bathroom, I close the door quietly and pray that I didn't wake him, I know I shouldn't but I'm curious as what has happened to my hand, I removed the bandages and wince when taking the large pad away, I gasp at the state of my hand.

I have a large wound running from the gap between my 3rd and little fingers to the fleshy muscle underneath my thumb, It's looks nasty, It's been professionally stitched but it looks ghastly, Red and raw.

I'm shocked and I jump out of my skin when there is a loud banging at the door.

* * *

C POV

I wake with a start, I had _THE_ most amazing dream, Tabi woke up during the night and she kissed me and then told me she loves me to which I told her I loved her back but that just can't be true as she's still... _WHERE IS SHE?_

Tabi's side of the bed is cold and empty, The covers have been pushed back and the door is slightly open, I panic _WHERE HAVE THEY TAKEN HER? WHY DIDN'T THEY WAKE ME?_

I pull on the jeans and tee Taylor brought me last night and throw the door open, I frantically look up and down the hall

"MOM" I call as I run towards her

"Christian? Keep your voice down you are in a hospital now what's the matter?" She scolds

"Where's Tabi?"

"She's in the room with you...Isn't she?" She asks with a worried look jogging back to the room

Once we get there we see that the room is still empty _Shit! Where is she?_

"Have you checked the bathroom?" She says pointing

The bathroom? Fuck no I haven't

I try to open the door but it won't budge

* * *

T POV

"Tabi? Tabi are you in there?"

It's Christian

I panic. _Shit!_ He's going to be so mad at me, I stay quiet, Thank God the doors locked.

"Tabi open the door please" I don't answer

"TABI OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR NOW!"

The banging gets louder, I'm scared I close my eyes and sit on the toilet _WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENED TO ME?_, I feel tears spill from my eyes, My hands automatically come up to cover them, My left hand co operates but my right feels numb, It doesn't feel like mine.

I see a toothbrush sat in a glass by the sink, It must be Christian's, I ignore the continuing thumping and pleading coming from the other side of the door, I get up and walk to the sink, I lift my right hand and try to grasp the toothbrush but I can't my fingers feel numb, I try again I lift it with my 'good' hand and try to pas it towards my damaged one but I can't feel anything, My fingers close slowly but I have no concept of touch, It slips out of my hand and clatter's in to the sink.

I refuse to give up I try again but this time I try something larger, The glass.

I manage to grip in my fingers if just for a second before the numbness returns and it slips, I scream as it falls to the floor and smashes in to pieces, I scream not out of fear but from frustration.

* * *

C POV

I've been banging on the door for the last 10 minuets, No answer, No sound but I know Tabi is on the other side of this bastard door, _Why won't she answer? Why won't she open it?_ What could she be possibly be doing?

I turn to face my mother who shakes her head and sighs

"Christian just leave her be, she'll come out when she's ready" She say's guiding me away

Just then I hear a smash and screaming

"Tabi?...TABI!" I yell as I run back and pound my fist on the door, I need to get this fucking door open, I need to get to her.

My mother runs from the room and shouts down the hall that we need maintenance, Of course they'll be able to get the door open.

I press my ear to the door and here sobbing, Tabi's on the other side breaking her heart and there's not a thing I can do about it.

A couple of minuets later my mother rushes back in with a man wearing overalls carrying a large set of keys

"This one Peter please hurry" My mother pleads as 'Peter' searches through his massive set to try find the right key.

"Thankyou Peter we'll take it from here" She says as he retreats from the room and closing the door.

I look at my mother who nods her head and then mouths 'slowly' to me.

I take a deep breath and push it open to find Tabi sat on the toilet lid, She's sobbing in to her hands and rocking back and forth, Theres glass and bandages all over the floor

"Tabi" I whisper gently

She looks up, She looks terrified, Her eyes drop back to her hands and she sniffs

"Tabi? Darling" My mother tries

"Grace?" Tabi's head shoot up "Grace help... help me please I can't feel...I can't feel anything!" Tabi cries

"Ok dear, Ok" My mother coos as she slowly makes her way in to the bathroom, Tabi clings her as mom leads her out, She looks so fragile, So broken.

Mom helps Tabi back in to bed and tells her she will be right back.

"Talk to her" She whispers to me as she leaves

"Tabi?" I whisper

She doesn't look at me, She just turns to her side and continues to sob grasping her pillow, I feel useless, Like a piece of forgotten furniture, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help, To comfort her.

My mother comes back in with another doctor and the both sit down on the right side of Tabi.

"Tabi this is Dr. Jacobs, He's going to look at your hand" My mother says as Tabi slowly sits up, She doesn't look at anyone, She keeps her eyes downcast on the bed

"Christian" My mother says as she looks at me

"Il be in the hall" I mumble as I turn to leaving feeling absolutely rejected

"Chr...Christian"

I turn to see Tabi staring at me with terrified wide eyes

"Stay...P. Christian...I'm scared" She whsipers


	40. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch 40

AN: Oh my God, I can't believe I'm up to 40 chapters already... This will be my last up date today guys sorry but will be putting pen to paper after and then il be posting that tomorrow... Samii x

* * *

T POV

"Stay...P. Christian...I'm scared" I whisper

I don't know why I pushed him away I just did, The shock of everything made everything turn off I didn't know what was going on around me, I'm scared I can't seem to remember what happened to me, I remember bits but its fuzzy and then I heard Christian mumble that he'll wait in the hall and I came out of where ever I was... I don't want to do this by myself, I want Christian, I need Christian to tell me everything will be ok.

I extend my 'good' hand to him and it shakes uncontrollably, Christian rushes back to my side, He takes my hand and gives it a gentle kiss, He has tears in his eyes and I know I caused that, I caused him to feel the way he does, I stare at him and only him... I love him.

"Ok Tabi give me you hand" Dr. Jacobs says as I place my damaged hand in his palm up, My eyes never stray from Christian as the doctor starts the examination.

* * *

C POV

The doc looks at Tabi's hand and then back to my mother as she nods at him

"OK Tabi, Tell me when you feel anything" He says as Tabi nods her gaze never leaving me.

Dr. Jacobs takes him gloved finger and gently runs it over Tabi's thumb, Her eyes stay focused on me the whole time, He runs his finger over each of hers very slowly... One, Two, Three, Four... Nothing, Tabi's face hasn't changed.

He runs his finger slowly back and forth over her palm,

"Tell me when you feel something" He says again as he continues over her palm

My eyes flick back to Tabi's as she still continues to stare at me

"I feel that" She says with a smile and I look back at my mom and Dr. Jacobs, He's not touching Tabi's hand anymore he's touching her wrist.

"Ok Tabi, We'll do it again and I want you to concentrate really hard to feel anything" My mom says and Tabi nods still looking at me but now her eyes are filling with tears again.

* * *

T POV

"Ok Tabi, We'll do it again and I want you to concentrate really hard to feel anything" Grace says as I nod, I'm trying so hard to concentrate on any little feeling or tingle but so far there's nothing, I don't even know if they are touching me or whether they're testing me.

Christian looks worried, He looks scared his eyes keep flicking from me to Dr. Jacobs and then back to me, I still can't feel anything, I frown

"Tab? Do you feel something?" Christian asks with a hopeful tone to his voice and I shake my head... Why can't I feel anything?

I hear Grace sigh next to me as I turn to face her, She looks from Dr, Jacobs and then to Christian and finally back to me, Christian squeezes my left hand... Shit this isn't going to be good news

"Tabi I'm sorry but from the looks of things you have sustained some pretty serious nerve damage from the cut to your hand, It might be too early to tell but for the time being it doesn't look likely that your going to have any feeling in your hand above the wrist... I'm so very sorry" Dr. Jacobs says and I just stare at him with wide eyes, I can't comprehend whats happening

"What do you mean?" I ask dumbly

"The cut to your hand was so deep sweetie that it sliced through nerves, Those nerves help you to feel and your hand to function, We managed to stitch them back together but it's too early to tell whether this is permanent or not, You will have to under go therapy to allow us to see the extent of the damage as your hand heels" Grace says as she pushes my fringe out of my eyes...

"You mean I might never be able to play guitar again?" I whisper as I drop my eyes back to the bed

"If the nerve damage is permanent then you might not be able to again" Grace whispers back as I blink and feel the tears running fresh paths down my cheeks.


	41. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch41

AU: Hiya guys just to let you all know things are going to get difficult between Tabi and Christian but there will be a good outcome, Tabi is going to go through a dark time but things will get better :) I have already written the bad chapters so I know what goes on... Just have a little faith. Samii x

* * *

C POV

I've been sat in the waiting room for the last 20 minuets with my mother, Tabi fell asleep not long after her hand was re bandaged, She didn't say much just continued to stare at the bed spread, My mom seems to think we should have Tabi talk to Flynn, Mom thinks Tabi is starting to show signs of depression.

"Christian please just listen to me, Tabi doesn't seem herself" My mother begs for me to see reason but all I do is continue to pace the length of the waiting room.

"Of course she's not herself, She's just been told that her right hand is almost basically useless and she may never play the guitar again" I fume

"We don't know if the damage is permanent at the moment, It's a waiting game" She reply's rubbing her face

"Mom you should go home and rest you look shattered" I say coming to sit next to her

"I'm fine honey, I only have an hour left of my shift and then il check on Tabi and then go home ok" She smiles and I nod

"You should go sit with Tabi, She's going to need you, I still think it might be an idea for her to talk to someone though Christian" She says patting my hand and getting up.

* * *

Tabi's still asleep when I enter the room, I take my seat next to her, I decide to do some work while she sleeps.

I email and text Ros and Andrea to make sure we are on top of the most important deals the rest can wait

"Christian"

I look up to see Tabi lying on her side facing me, I smile at her but she doesn't smile back

"When can I go home?" She whispers

"My mom says you might be able to go home tomorrow, Will that be ok?" I say praying for some sort if reaction, Tabi nods and closes her eyes again, I'm starting to worry about her, Maybe mom's right, Maybe she does need to see someone. Flynn? Speaking of Flynn I need to know what the hell went on between those two, _How do they know each other?_

"Tab? How do you and John Flynn know each other? I ask quietly

Tabi's eyes open and I can see straight away that she's worried about talking about this, She tries to suppress a shudder but fails.

"I don't want to talk about it" She whispers

"But-" I try but I'm cut off

"NO! Christian!" She snaps and rolls over and I'm left feeling useless again

I sigh and go back to checking my emails, Flynn's words from the other day fill my mind

_"She'll tell you when she's ready"_

I just hope Flynn's right.

* * *

T POV

2 days, 2 days I've been out of hospital and I'm even more frustrated than before, I can't do anything for myself and It's really pissing me off.

I asked Taylor how I cut my hand and he told me that I freaked out when I saw Dr. Flynn and I cut it on a shard of glass when I sat by Sean's grave.

Christian doesn't know what to do with me and to be honest I don't know either, He's been very supportive and loving but I feel like I'm a child, I hate feeling like this, I hate the fact that I caused all of this.

Christian keeps asking me to see someone, I don't want to talk about it, I'm slowly slipping inside myself I can feel it, The darkness pulling me in, I feel everything seeping away from me and I hate it.

* * *

C POV

Tabi doesn't talk to anyone much anymore not even Taylor, It's like she's in her own little word and it scares me, She's slipping away from me, Piece by piece.

I spend most of my time in my office at Escala or at GEH, I've tried to talk to her but she doesn't seem to acknowledge anything I say, Flynn says she sounds like she's depressed, I'm slowly starting to think he's right, He still won't tell me how he and Tabi know each other and I've given up trying to ask Tabi, I tried once a couple of days ago and it just ended in us fighting.

We're not close anymore, I still love her with all my heart but she doesn't want any help, I got angry at her and told her that she isn't even trying, That she doesn't want to get better, I said that she brought it all on herself for being stupid and that she was childish for running off... She didn't say anything she just sat and started at the wall.

* * *

T POV

It's been 2 weeks now its the middle of May, Me and Christian don't talk anymore, Grace has set up PT (Physical Therapy) sessions for me I see Jamie every day for an hour, I have an appointment with him at 12, I don't think they are working, I don't feel any difference in my hand at all, I still can't feel or grip or do anything, Jamie says it's because I've only been seeing him for a week but I just feel disheartened, I don't like going but I know I have to do something, I need to save myself, Christian...Us.

We don't share his bedroom anymore, We had a fight a few days ago and he said he couldn't cope with me anymore, I don't blame him, I hate myself for doing this to him, To us.

I miss him, I miss being close to him, Holding him, Kissing him...Making love to him, We haven't had sex since before the 'accident' as everyone calls it, I call it my own fucking stupidity.

"Tabi" Taylor pulls me out of my self loathing

"Yeah" I answer

"We need to get going soon, Your appointment is at 12" He says turning to leave, I know he's annoyed and disappointed in me for letting this beat me

"Taylor"

"Yes" He says without turning round to face me

"I'm sorry" I whisper

"It's not me you need to be talking to Tabi it's Christian" He says as he closes the door.

* * *

On the way back from PT I starting thinking, I know I need to tell Christian about Flynn but it's so hard for me to re live it all again, It's not a part of my life that I really want to open up but if I've got to go through all that pain again to save us then I will.

I close my eyes and rest my head back on the leather seat and rememeber a very dark time.


	42. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch42

AN: The moment you've been waiting for guys :) The flashback to how Tabi and Flynn know each other... This one will be a long chapter enjoy. Samii x

* * *

Georgia:

_Tabi aged 17:_

_"Tabitha! Tabitha Stone! You get your ass down here now young lady" She yells_

_AHHHHH! What the fuck does she want now?_

_I get up from my bed and stomp out of my room and down the stairs to the bitch sat in the living room next to... Elena Lincoln_

_"Elena" I breath_

_"Hello Tabitha" Elena greets me with a smile_

_"What are you doing here?" I blink_

_"I'm sorry dear, I've got some news" _

_"News?" I frown_

_"Regarding Christian"_

_"Christian!" I smile, Oh God how I miss him_

_"Yes you see..." Elena starts_

_"What? Get to the point" I shout_

_"Tabitha!" The bitch scolds and I roll my eyes_

_"Christian's met someone, He's got himself a girlfriend well a fiancée actually, She's such a lovely sweet thing..." I cut her off_

_"No! No, No, No, NO! He can't have forgotten me!" I scream_

_"Tabitha! You calm down now!" My mother yells_

_"This is bullshit...Christian wouldn't do this, He loves me, He wants..." _

_I'm cut off by a loud slap ringing through my ears, My head snaps violently around and I'm forced back_

_"Listen here you silly, Stupid, Nieve little girl, Christian has moved on, He's found someone to love and who loves him back, Now I suggest you get a hold of yourself and stop acting like a love-sick teenager and grow up!" Elena says as she let's go of my hair and allows me to straighten up._

_I feel tears run down my cheeks and wipe them away angrily_

_"Is there anything else?" I say looking down at my shoes, I can't bare to look at the two miserable pieces of shit in front of me._

_"Yes darling, I'm going out tonight with Dan, We've got some big party so I don't know when il be home" She says as I simply give a weak nod and turn to leave, I retreat back to my room, My heavon, My sanctuary._

_I hear the bitch leave for the night and I start to hurry, I grab my bag and begin throwing in clothes, shoes everything I'm going to need for my trip._

_Once I'm done I grab my bag and turn to leave, I run back to my bed and take the one prized possession I own bar my guitar... The picture._

_I enter the kitchen and climb up on to the work top, The walking dildo always stores cash in a jar up here, I grab the pot not bothering to look at how much is in there as I know she keeps shit loads of cash so I'm not worried._

_Outside I call a cab to take me to the airport and soon I board a plane one way from Georgia to Seattle._

* * *

Seattle

_I've been in Seattle a few days now, I have no idea where I'm going or what to do, I want to go see Christian but I'm afraid of the outcome, What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he sends me packing? Is it worth the heartbreak? I do want to see him even if he does tell me he's with someone else at least then il know he's happy and he's moved on._

_I hail a cab to Bellevue, I can't remember Christian's house number, No matter il just walk._

_When the cab stops I pay and get out, I walk for about 10 minuets before I start to faintly recognise where I am._

_"Christian's house" I whisper as I get closer, I sneak around the corner and I'm stunned by what I see._

_Christian, He's sitting on the grass in front of the house, He looks the same as when I last saw him, His hair is still a beautiful copper mess, He's still got his gorgeous boyish features and he's still devilously handsome._

_I feel giddy just looking at him, He look's so lost, So broken just like me._

_I'm about to make myself seen when I hear_

_"Christian!"_

_I look up to see a beautiful girl with long black hair in a blue summer dress run and crash on the ground next to him, Christian's face lights up when he see's her and he wraps his arm around her shoulder_

_"Happy birthday" She squeals and hands him a present then kisses his cheek, I hear him laugh and my heart breaks, This must be his girlfriend well fiancée Elena told me about, I can't look at the scene any longer I run as fast as my legs will carry me._

* * *

2 weeks later

_I've officially ran out of money, I used the rest to buy drugs from a guy I met one night, They make me uneasy but they help me relax and take away the pain but because of that I'm out of money and I'm screwed._

_I've got no where to live and know one knows I'm here, I want to find Jason my Godfather but I have no idea where he is, No clue whats so ever...I'm lost, I can't go back to Georgia even if I wanted to...Nope not to her, I doubt she even knows I've gone._

_It's raining, The dark seattle sky has opened and is soaking everything in its path even me, I feel light-headed, I feel heavy, I haven't eaten in days._

_I see lights,_

_Pain... So much pain,_

_Screaming,_

_Black._

* * *

A couple of days later

_My head feels fuzzy, It hurts, A sharp pain stabs at my temples, My eyes flutter open but they immediately close._

_"She's waking up" I hear a woman's voice_

_"I'll call the nurse" A man's voice travels away from me_

_I pry my eyes open again, I focus on a beautiful woman sat in the chair by my bed, She has long dark almost black hair with amazing hazel eyes._

_"Oh honey your awake" She gushes as she takes my hand_

_"Who are you?" I whisper, My throat feels like its been ripped open along with my head_

_"Oh my name is Rhian, Rhian Flynn" She says as the door open's and a nurse in blue scrubs walks in_

_"Hello dear, My name is Nora, How are you feeling? She asks me_

_"My head hurts" I croak as I lift my hand to touch my head touch where it hurts but Rhain gently grabs my me before I make contact_

_"I wouldn't do that sweetie, You've had stitches" _

_I stare at Rhian in shock, Why would I have needed stitches? Nurse Nora takes a look at me before writing on my chart and walking away._

_"Do you remember what happened?" Rhian asks, Just as I'm about to answer there's a gentle knock at the door and a gentleman walks in holding a tray of cups with a jug of water._

_"This is my husband John" Rhian says as he comes to Rhian's side and hands her a cup of what looks like tea, John hands me a cup of ice-cold water._

_"Thankyou" I mumble as I take a small sip_

_"So can you remember what happened?" Rhain prompts_

_"Um...Not really, I remember rain, Feeling light-headed, Pain and then screaming... I think" I say looking down in to my now empty cup_

_"Would you like some more?" John says as I quickly nod and he fill's my cup again_

_"Well... The screaming was me" Rhain says looking embarrassed_

_"What do you mean?" I ask as my brow furrows_

_"You walked out into the road and collapsed in front of our car, You hit your head on the ground pretty hard, We didn't know what else to do so we brought you to the hospital, You've been unconscious for 3 days" Rhian whispers the last part_

_"I'm sorry" I whisper as tears pool in my eyes_

_"Hey it's ok" John coo's as he pats my leg "I'm just glad it was us who found you" He smiles_

_"What's your name sweetie?" Rhain asks as she holds my hand gently_

_"Roxi" I whisper "Roxi Stone"_

_"Do you have any family we can call?" John asks_

_Do I have any family? None that I'd like to see well apart from Taylor but I have no idea where he is_

_"No, I don't have anyone" I say quietly_

_"No mother? Father?" John questions_

_"I've never met my father, As for my mother I don't even think she know's ive gone and If she has she wouldn't care"_

_The nurse comes back in to the room with some papers in her arms and a pen_

_"Ok the doctor says your fine to go home but you have to take it easy but I do need a signature from someone who can take care of you" Nora says_

_Great just fucking great, I don't have anyone to take care of me... So what does that mean?_

_"It's ok, She's coming home with us, I've already cleared it with the doctor" I hear John say as he stands and signs the papers._

_I'm discharged shortly after that, John and Rhian take me to their beautiful home, It's an amazing place very cosy and warm but I don't feel like I belong there._

_Rhian shows me to their guest bedroom and tells me to make myself at home, I don't know why they're being so nice to me but it's nice to have a place to sleep and a hot meal._

* * *

_I've been with the Flynn's for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to feel safe, comfortable and happy, I like John and Rhian, They're like the mom and dad I wish I had._

_One night John calls me down from my room, As I skip down the stairs I see him and Rhian glued to the TV_

_"Hey guys, What's up" I smile_

_Rhian turns to me and asks me to sit and I do as I'm asked, Suddenly I'm shocked by what I see on the screen._

Newsflash:

* 17-year-old Tabitha Stone went missing from her home in Georgia a few weeks ago, Her mother and step father are beside themselves with worry, Know one has heard from Tabitha in weeks.  
Police are after anyone with any information regarding the missing teenager to contact them immediately*

_John and Rhian both turn to look from the Tv to me, The screen focuses on a large picture of me_

_"So your names Tabitha Stone, Not Roxi" Rhian say's with disappointment as she shakes her head_

_I feel panic rise up inside me, As the picture fades my bitch of a mother comes on to the screen, Crocodile tears running down her face as she tries to snivel up to the cameras_

"Tabi, Tabi baby if your watching this please come home darling, We need you" _Is all she says before turning away, She's so fucking fake, I can see her touching her hair and make up up ready for the next interview, Or sucking off the male reporters for exclusives...Misreble fucking bitch!_

_"I'm calling the police" John says as he reaches for the phone_

_"No!" I scream running to him pulling the phone from his grip and wrenching it out of the wall_

_"Yes Tabitha" John says as he glares at me "You LIED to us, You've HURT us And you've HURT your mother by running away"_

_I fall to the floor sobbing "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I scream as John walks out of the room, Rhian comes to my side and kneels in front of me_

_"Then tell me" She says as she takes me tears stained face in her hands._

_I proceed to tell her everything, I tell her about my mother, Elena, BDSM, My 'father', The boy who broke my heart, Moving to Georgia and trying to come back to find my Godfather._

_Rhian's expression soften's the more i say and it feels so good to get it off my chest, As I finish I feel exhausted, Emotionally and physically, John comes back in to the room and he doesn't look at me._

_Rhian explains my story to him she tells him everything I just said, John finally makes eye contact with me and his expression is of sorrow and guilt._

_There's a knock at the front door, I freeze I know what's coming and I'm so scared of the outcome, John heaves a heavy sigh as he walks to the door_

_"John please" I bed_

_"I'm so sorry Tabi" He whispers as the door opens_

_I'm up on my feet and I'm running, I swing open the back door only to be grabbed by a pair of strong arms, I scream, Kick, Fight to get away but I can't, I'm dragged to a waiting police car and pushed in to the back_

_"JOHN! RHIAN...PLEASE!" I scream and cry as the door is slammed, Rhian is crying and John is mouthing 'I'm sorry' 'I'm so sorry' over and over again, the car starts, We pull away and I am personally escorted back to hell._


	43. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch43

AU: Oh My God my fingers are hurting guys this will be the last update for today, More tomorrow promise... This chapter is following on from Tabi in the car Samii x

* * *

T POV

"Tabi?" Taylor says pulling me out of my memories, I turn my head to clear my thoughts abit and realise we're at Escala.

"You ok?" He asks

"Yeah...I think I need to talk to Christian" I say as I open the my door and rush to the elevator, I wait for Taylor to tap the code in, The doors close and we rush towards the penthouse

I step off the elevator and walk in, I smile at Gail who returns my smile with wide eyes, I need to do this.

I walk towards Christian's office and knock, I slowly push the door open and here him before i see him

"I don't give a flying fuck what he wants Ros, I will not go any higher...The man man is an ass, He wants fucking blood aswel as more fucking money ontop of what I am willing to offer...I don't care the answer is NO! Tell him I want an answer by the end of today or I'm pulling the fucking plug"

He slams the phone back on the desk and runs his hands through his hair, I take a deep breath and knock again

"WHAT!" He bellows and I flinch

"Maybe this was a bad idea, Il come back" I say quickly as I shut the door and run I don't want to habeve this conversation when he's angry.

I walk in to the living room and sit on the couch, I pull the exercises Jamie gave me out of my bag and read them, It's just simple things like flexing my fingers and clenching and unclenching my fist.

"What's that?"

I look up to see Christian standing in front of me

"Just some exercises Jamie gave me to do"

"Jamie?" Christian says with a annoyed look

"My Physical Therapist" I relpy as I contiue with my task, I need to do them for 10 minuets every couple of hours, He says it will strectch the nerves and help me with my touch and grip, I hope he's right.

"I've still got some work to do, Il be back soon" He says and walks back to his office slamming the door.

I don't see Christian for the rest of the night, He's avoiding me, I've got know one to blame but myself, I want make this better but how can I when he won't even be in the same room as me?

I go to my room after dinner and sit on my bed, I need a way for Christian to talk to me, I need to have him listen to me... Then I have an idea.

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C POV

Another morning waking up on my own, I miss cuddling up to Tabi, Feeling her close to me.

I shower and dress to go in to the office today, I need to sort out yesturdays mess, Someone's going to get their ass fired, I'm not in the mood for anymore fuck ups.

"Good morning Mr...Christian" Gail corrects herself as I smirk at her, _Yes Gail is still having problems adjusting._

"Morning Gail, Has Tabi been down?" I ask as I eat my breakfast, We may not be speaking but that doesn't mean I don't still care about her

"Yes Sir, She came down and had breakfast about an hour ago" Gail says with an appologetic look Why was she up so early?

"Christian" Taylor says coming in to the room _See Gail Taylor doesn't have a problem remembering to call me Christian_

"Yes Taylor" I say finishing my breakfast

"Dr. Flynn is here Sir" He says with a confused look

"I didn't arrange an appointment with Flynn" I say with a frown _Whats he doing here?_

"Your right you didn't" Tabi says walking in to the kitchen, She looks breath taking, Her soft brown hair is braided over her right shoulder, Her face is free of any make up what so ever, She's wearing a little black vest top that shows off her ample tits and tiny waist perfectly, I can see the top of her 'C' tattoo peaking out of the top, She's wearing low rise stone washed skinny jeans and leather high heeled boots... She looks delious and my cock jumps to attention.

"Flynn's not here for you"

"Then who's he for?" I ask with great difficulty as all my blood has congragated in my pants

"Me" She smiles as Flynn walks up behind her

"Good morning Tabi,How are you doing?" Flynn asks with a smile

"Good morning to you too John, I'm good thankyou, Shall we?" Tabi motions with her hand and Flynn nods

"Oh Christian you wouldn't mind us using the Tv room would you?" She asks and I just shake my head dumbly

"Thanks" She smiles "This way John" And then their gone.

Me, Taylor and Gail stay looking at the door, I don't think any of us can comprehend what just happend, I have to find out whats going on, I walk from the kitchen in to my office and link my laptop up to the CCTV unit, Luckily the Tv room is monitored even though it doesn't get used much.

I see Tabi and Flynn enter and sit down

"Thankyou for coming this morning John" Tabi says and Flynn nods

"What would you like to talk about today Tabi?" Flynn asks and Tabi sighs

"I know Christian will either be watching this or he will watch it later so i'd like to go through how me and you know each other but il start from before that so Christian knows everything" Tabi speaks strongly and Flynn nods.

Shit! She knows i'm watching, Am I that predicatble?

"Why do you need me to do this?" Flynn asks and looks down at her hands

"Me and Christian arn't talking at the moment and when we do we just argue, I saw my PT yesturday for my hand and I knew I had to talk to him, But he was so stressed out with work that I didn't think it was a good time, He said he was going back to do some work and he would be back but I didn't see him again till this morning, I though I would have to make an appointment with him to get him to talk to me and I thought why not kill to birds with one stone? Talk you you ans see if we can get to the bottom of my fucked-uped-ness and tell Christian how we met, And don't worry I am paying for this not Christian" Tabi says with a smirk towards the camera.

_Shit!_ So that's why she wanted to talk to me yesturday she wanted to confide in me about something that worried her and I acted like a complete asshole and ignored her all night.

I call for Taylor and Gail in, They're not happy about me invading Tabi's session with Flynn but i think we all need to hear this, They sit down and wait for Tabi to start.

"Ok Tabi, Start when ever your ready" Flynn says


	44. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch 44

T POV

As I finished re telling the story of how I met 'The Flynn's' there was a timid knock on the door, Flynn stands up and opens it to find Christian, Taylor and Gail on the other side.

"Can we come in?" Christian asks nervously

"Is that ok with you Tabi?" Flynn asks as I nod, They shuffle in and sit on the couch opposite me, I inwardly smirk at the thought of them all listening in but id rather get it out of the way now.

"I gather you all heard my little story" I say to the three guilty faces across the room and they all nod

"Right we'll il continue then, Get comfortable" I smirk

"Once I was back in Georgia, That's when things got bad, Really bad  
I wasn't punished by having my cell, Laptop or TV taken away, I wasn't grounded... I was whipped, Caned and flogged... By my mother.  
She beat, Abused and tourchered me, She said id made a laughing stock out of her and this was my punishment, Everyday I was taken down to the basement and beaten, There were no safewords, The only time she stopped was when her anger wore off, I wasn't allowed to speak, Scream or cry. If I did she got angry and it would all start again.  
About a month or two after I was brought back I was attacked so badly that I couldn't move, I couldn't walk, I ended up with a fractured wrist from trying get free from the cuffs she put me in.  
When she left she 'signed' me over to Dan and he officially became my Dom, At first it was just sexual gratification but then if something didn't go right or I didn't 'perform' how he wanted me to then he would beat me, I never said a word as he said it was what I deserved, I was a little slut like my mother and I needed to be punished for her breaking their contract and fucking off with some toy boy, That I owed him, That he looked after me, Brought me things and was good to me so I needed to uphold my end and be a good little sub and start acting like one"

I pause and look around to see how everyone is taking this, Taylor and Christian look like they are ready to go for the kill and Gail has her hand over her mouth with tears running down her face, I take a deep breath and carry on.

"When I reached 18 I welcomed Dan as my Dom, It made him happy and the punishments became as and when and I knew they were coming so I prepared for them, I blocked him out and just welcomed the rush of pain.  
I moved back to Seattle when I was 21, I told him I wanted to travel but I didn't I just wanted to be free of him, I didn't want to become a sub but not being able to find a job, Pay bills ect makes you realise what will work for you, I was the best in my field and I used it to my advantage.  
For so long I blamed Flynn for sending me back to them but it wasn't until I had time to think and reflect that I realised it wasn't his or Rhian's fault at all it was Dan's and my mothers, They made me this way, They made me feel like I deserved the shit that happened to me, Bad things always happened to me until I met Christian again"

I stop as Christian's teary eyes meet mine.

"I never wanted anything more in my life Christian until I saw you again, When you asked me to be your sub I only said yes because I though it was the only way to be able to close to you again, I told you I loved you and I ment it, I've always loved you, For the last 10 years I've done nothing but, I'm sorry for what I've put you all through, I'm so sorry"

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C POV

"I'm sorry for what I've put you all through, I'm so sorry" Tabi sobs and I can't take it anymore we're too far apart, I run over and wrap my arms around her, She sobs in to my chest and I relish the feeling of her in my arms again, She's been walking around with all of this for so long it's exploded, She need's to let it out and I'm here for her.

Taylor and Gail make their way to leave with Flynn to give me and Tabi some time together, Once Tabi's sobs have calmed I gently wipe her tears away with my thumbs

"Better?" I whisper

Tabi nods "I'm so sorry Christian" She sniffs

"It's ok"

"No it's not, I've been so horrible to you over the last few weeks and you didn't deserve any of it" She says as fresh tears slip down her cheeks

"Baby it's ok, I should have been more understanding, Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" I ask as Tabi shrugs

"I was scared you would see me differently, When ever I built up the courage to tell you we would argue, I hate upsetting you Christian and by the time I decided to tell you yesterday you avoided me, I thought I was too late" She whispers the last part.

I don't know what to say, I feel so guilty about ignoring and avoiding her yesterday, She's apologising to me but it should be the other way round.

"Baby I'm the one who should be apologising to you, I'm so sorry for being so up my own ass that I couldn't see that you needed me, Please forgive me" I beg.

"Only if you forgive me" She says with a genuine smile

"Already done" I grin

"I love you Christian"

"I love you to Tabz"

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AU: Hiya guys I know I said that the last chapter would be the last one tonight but I couldn't help but post this :) Hope you've enjoyed todays chapters there will be more tomorrow...Until then Samii x


	45. Fifty Shades Of Forbidden Memories Ch 45

AN: Hiya guys I'm so sorry for not posting yesterday the typing and writing is catching up on me as my fingers are killing me but I'm plowing on as I have lots more to this story :) Happy times in this chapter... Enjoy Samii x

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C POV

Tabi relaxed in my arms and soon I realise she's fallen asleep, My poor baby she's been to hell and back  
I lift her and gently carry her from the TV room, I want her back in our bedroom with me, I want to be able to kiss her and hold her close to me in our own bed.

Taylor and Gail are sat talking in the kitchen, They stop when they see me carrying Tabi asleep in my arms  
I walk in to our bedroom and lay her down on the bed, I cover her up and kiss her sweetly on the head.  
"I love you baby" I whisper as I walk back out and close the door.

"How is she?" Taylor asks when I reach the kitchen and take a sip of coffee Gail placed in front of me.

"She's emotionally drained, She's carried all of this around with her for so long it's just got too much for her and with her hand her emotions have exploded" I sigh

"Poor girl, She hasn't had an easy life" Gail says quietly as we nod

Its true, Tabi's had a hard life, She didn't want to be a sub she was forced in to it by her mother, Her horrible, Selfish bitch of a mother, How dare she beat and abuse my beautiful girl.

"If I'd have known she had come back to Seattle I would have done something...Anything" Taylor mumbles guiltily

"It wasn't your fault"

Our heads whips around to see Tabi standing in the doorway, She still looks so tired, So pale, My heart aches just looking at her.

"Please don't blame yourself Taylor" She pleads as she walks closer, She takes the seat in between me and Taylor and lays her hands palms up on the surface, Taylor puts his hand in Tabi's left and I do the same with her right, She flinched slightly and I pull away in horror.

"Shit! Oh Tabz I forgot, I'm sorry, Shit... I'm so-"

"Do it again" She whispers and I freeze, She wants me to grab her bad hand again, But I hurt her last time Is she fucking crazy?

"Christian" She scolds

I clamp my eyes tight and grab her hand, I hear her gasp again. See I knew it, I hurt her again...

"I can feel you" She whispers.

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T POV

The contact Christian's hand makes the 2nd time is completely different from the first time, The first time was like an electric shock, Hot and sharp but the 2nd time its warm, The current is still there but it's like static.

"I can feel you" I whisper

I can feel the warmth of Christian's palm against my own, I feel the softness of his skin, I feel my senses coming back to me at this simple contact, Christian's eyes shoot open in disbelief as I see tears well in them.

"You? You can?" He stutters as a smile creeps across my face

"Where? Where can you feel me? Taylor call my mother" Christian babbles trying to multitask

"I can feel the warmth of your palm on my skin, I feel your hand in mine" I smile as my eyes water, Christian pulls me in to a long deep kiss, We both savor it as it's the first time we've kissed in what feels like years.

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20 minuets later Grace is here with the rest of the Grey's performing the same examination on me they did in the hospital, I sit on the couch with Christian, I turn away from Grace the same as I did before.

"Ok Tabi, Tell me when you can feel anything" She says as my eyes again lock Christian's, All the Grey's, Taylor and Gail wait with bated breath and I pray _Oh please don't let it be a fluke... Please._

"I feel that" I smile at Christian who smiles back at me

"You feel this" Grace says

"Yes" I squeak

"Ok, what about this?"

"Yes, YES! I feel that" I reply excitedly

"Ok Tabi" Grace says as we all turn to face her, She's smiling and I know it's good news

"It looks like your nerves are healing nicely, The touch you felt was from here" Grace says taking my hand and running her finger over my palm under my little finger where my scare starts down to my wrist and around up my thumb, I let out a little giggle.

"It tickles" I laugh

"Well that's good, It shows that your hand and nerves are healing the way they should be" She smiles and I launch myself at her and hug her tightly.

"Oh thankyou Grace, Thankyou" I choke as she hugs me back tightly

"You've still got a long way to go but it looks like your on the mend" She laughs

I pull away and turn to see Christian wiping his eyes, I lung at him aswell as the Grey's, Taylor and Gail come to our side for hugs.

"Tabi" Mia whispers as she pulls me away

"Yeah Mi" I ask

"Are you still going to New York?"

"Oh yes New York, I forgot to tell you" I laugh excitedly

"Oh what" Mia bounces and the room goes silent

"I'm not going" They all gasp

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C POV

"Oh yes New York, I forgot to tell you" Tabi laughs excitedly

Shit! I forgot about New York, She's going to go cause I told her to, I'm such a stupid fuck.

"I'm not going" Tabi smirks at me as my eyes go wide, Did she just say what I think she said?

"What do you mean you're not going?" Mia raises her voice in shock and Tabi laughs, That beautiful carefree laugh I haven't heard in what feels like a life time.

"I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. NEW YORK" She says slowly

"WHY?" Mia yells throwing her arms in the air

"I wouldn't want to leave the love of my life" Tabi says innocently.

"What? Who?" Mia asks as Tabi moves her eyes from my disappointed little sister, Mia follows Tabi's line of sight until everyone's eyes are on me, I couldn't give a fuck at the moment if I am the center of attention, The girl of my dreams isn't going to New York because she doesn't want to be apart from me.

Mia looks like a fish at the moment, A very fashionable and beautiful fish mind you but non the less still a fish.

"Yes Mia, I'm in love with your brother" Tabi says helping Mia along, We all duck and take cover as Mia sqweals

"AAAAAHHHHHH! OH MY GOD!" She jumps and down and hugs Tabi who looks like she's ready to wet herself.

"Christian do you love Tabi? She's just declared her love for you in front of all of us and you haven't said a word" Mia scolds and I decide if I've got an audience I'm going to do this right.

I walk over to Tabi and take her hands in mine

"Tabitha Stone, I love you with all my heart, I have since the very first moment we met 10 years ago, Without you I'm nothing. Will you do me the honour of..."

Mia gasps "Moving in with me" I smirk at Tabi as we hear Mia groan, Tabi nods her head

"Yes Christian I will"

I dip and kiss her passionately in front of OUR family

"Get a room you two" Elliott calls

"We've got quite a few Elliott, Would you like to pick one for us?" Tabi smirks and winks playfully at Elliott who rolls his eyes

"There's my fierce girl, Where's she been? I've missed her" I whisper in Tabi's ear as I pull her close

"She missed you too, She went away for a while but she's back now and your stuck with her" Tabi grins

"I wouldn't have you any other way" I say as I kiss the top of her head.


End file.
